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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this selfish behaviour? I think so!

88 replies

SumThucker · 13/05/2015 09:04

I needed to go to the supermarket to pick up some milk. I picked a basket up in the foyer, put it in the crook of my arm like a handbag, and used my free arm to push my baby's pram.
Near the tills as you first walk in are the flowers & plants. A large shelf was filled with around 30 Golden Leylandii plants, almost 2ft high, in perfect condition, all reduced from £3 to 30p.
Deciding one would look lovely in my garden, I picked one up and placed it in my basket, but I soon realised I wouldn't be able to balance the plant in the basket and push the pram, so I reasoned I would grab the milk and butter I needed and come back for it, then I could slowly walk to the tills.
Milk & butter obtained, I began to walk back towards the front of the store and walked past two men, one pushing a trolley, filled with the leylandii plants.
I rushed to the front, hoping 'mine' would still be there, but no, they'd taken every one. Got home, slightly frothing about selfishness, only for my DP to give me eyes, claiming they were for sale and it doesn't matter if they're sold to 1 or 30 people...

Do you not think it's pretty selfish behaviour, though? To not give anyone else the chance to buy one? I do!

OP posts:

OnlyLovers · 13/05/2015 09:28

More, I think she'd be pretty indignant and telling us all about it if they'd taken it out of her basket.

But as it stands I read it as she removed the plant from her basket, carried her basket off to get her other stuff, then came back.

YABU, OP. Are people meant to read minds and realise that someone else wanted one of the plants?

First rule of supermarkets: possession is ALL of the law.

AuntyMag10 · 13/05/2015 09:29

But even if it was left in a basket, it would be fine to take it out as I would assume that someone changed their mind.

aderynlas · 13/05/2015 09:30

How long till a thread is started about the horrible hedge of little golden trees being planted next door.

WorraLiberty · 13/05/2015 09:30

Why would she head off to get the milk and butter without a basket?

I mean how would she carry it and push the pram?

Either way, an abandoned plant in an otherwise empty basket is fair game.

How long is someone expected to stand there, wondering if someone will come back for it?

WhoNickedMyName · 13/05/2015 09:31

even if she left the basket with the plant still in it and walked off, she's still being unreasonable.

TattyDevine · 13/05/2015 09:32

YABU

londonrach · 13/05/2015 09:34

Yabu. The man cant mind read that you want one plant. He saw a bargain and went for it.

londonrach · 13/05/2015 09:36

If basket is left id have thought person changed mind. If i need to get a trolley whilst using a basket i always ask security guard, random shelf filler if they could keep eye on it. Otherwise the items will be replaced back onto shelf

Original poster

SumThucker · 13/05/2015 09:37

(Not one lone voice at the back in agreement with me?)

Ok, was fully prepared to be told I was being unreasonable, my DP suggested I ask others to see if I could find anyone who agreed with me, because he couldn't understand it.

My supermarket has a 'fair buy' policy on some items, for instance the large bags of basmati rice, when on offer are limited to 3 bags per customer, to 'make it fair' to other customers.

So, with both a pram and basket, are you able to only walk very slowly or rush around?

My pram doesn't have handles, just a bar, so I can't hang bags or baskets on it. The plant was 3x bigger than the basket, I wouldn't have been able to walk quickly without the plant upending.

I think YABU for wanting one golden leylandii in your garden.

Rather 1 than 30!

Morelikeguidelines Yes, I put it back. I'm being unreasonable.

OP posts:

OffTheBackOfALaurie · 13/05/2015 09:37

If you left the plant in your basket 'in the queue' while you dashed to get butter and milk (as people often do, dashing for a forgotten item while in the queue) YANBU
If you put the plant back on the shelf, YABU

But it was disappointing and frustrating.

Eustasiavye · 13/05/2015 09:38

I don't think the men were unreasonable.
I would see it as fate not wanting me to have it.

As an aside I thought it was now illegal to plant a row of lleylandi within so many feet of someone else's property, they can cause no end of problems.

LittleMissIntrovert · 13/05/2015 09:38

I think it's a bit selfish of them, but unfortunately nothing stopping them doing it.

So I will stick up for you and say I think YANBU to think it's selfish.

WorraLiberty · 13/05/2015 09:38

But there are no 'fair buy' restrictions on reduced items that they're trying to get shot of.

Allinson2014 · 13/05/2015 09:39

YABU sorry. No one elbowed you out of the way to snatch the last one off the shelves. First come first served there I'm afraid.

londonrach · 13/05/2015 09:41

Sorry op still cant agree with you. Look on the bright side at least you dont have 30 of them growing next door to you.... Next time grap a member of staff and ask to hold whilst you juggle pram, baby, butter and milk.... I always found them very helpful. X

KeepCalmAndCarryOn111 · 13/05/2015 09:54

OP, I really sympathise. This would annoy me too but purely because I would feel that it was my own fault for leaving it on the shelf and presuming that it would still be waiting for me.

You know what? If you really liked that plant just buy one for £3 and don't get upset about it any more. If you don't want to spend £3 on it then it probably wasn't much worth to you at 30 p.

I would also agree with the OP's point about being fair to other customers. In her particular case those 2 men didn't know that someone else was after the plant. But I remember once standing in front of a shelf of freshly reduced bakery goods and one lady just kept grabbing every single box of reduced pastries - about 15 of them, I believe. Even though there were other people standing behind her who were after the same thing, waiting for her to move away so that they could get some for themselves. She just took them all. That's very rude in my opinion.

DeeWe · 13/05/2015 10:05

This reminds me of when we wre growing up, we weren't meant to take the last of things like biscuits/slice of cake etc without checking that no one else wanted it too. So instead we wouldn't take the last biscuit/slice. We'd halve it so we weren't taking the last one, and then the next person would halve that and then... and then my dm would get cross when she sound half a dozen cake/biscuit ins with a smidgin of a piece left each.

I think it slightly depends: If they were standing over the person reducing them and snapping them all up as they put the new price tag on, I'd think it was a bit selfish; but if they'd been reduced a while then leaving one might mean one gets chucked because they've been reduced two weeks and no one else wants them. They couldn't possibly have known that there was another customer planning on buying one in the shop... and does that mean they should have left two because the OP doesn't know if there was someone else thinking the same as her..?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/05/2015 10:06

Put stuff under the buggy in future? Or let the baby get close to nature and give them the tree?

I assume your op is a bit tongue in cheek. Have a "life's not fair" foot stomp but YABU.

TheWitTank · 13/05/2015 10:11

You could have asked a shop assistant to put it behind the till for you while you got the milk etc. I'm sure they wouldn't have had a problem with it.
YABU on this occasion OP, well done for taking it on the chin though

OnlyLovers · 13/05/2015 10:15

Oh, now taking something out of a basket, even if you think the basket looks abandoned ... I think that's a bit bold!

OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 13/05/2015 10:19

Yaaaabuuuu!

You have to be quick. I'd have popped one behind the till or whatever and asked them to keep it for me while I got the rest of my shopping.

Dr0pThePirate · 13/05/2015 10:43

Aww, SumThucker sorry but you lost out!

If it makes you feel any better when I see deals or reductions in the shops I never buy them up in bulk (DP does) as I like to leave some for other people but this is just me. I'm under no obligation to do it, I just feel bad hogging all the offers to myself.

You can't expect other people to not grab bargains though. Sorry

MoustacheofRonSwanson · 13/05/2015 10:50

Sounds like he's a bit of a greedy fucker. There does that make you feel better?

MNpostingbot · 13/05/2015 10:55

Eh?! How is this selfish

They used to limit the number of products people could buy back when they were doing the loaf of bread for 2p in the late 90s. I think it was 4 per person. Cue a queue containing 10 family members of a local store buying them up. Same loafs ended up on the convenience store shelf at 50p a pop, good enterprising behaviour as far as I'm concerned!

VanitasVanitatum · 13/05/2015 11:14

Leylandii are a nightmare anyway, you dodged a bullet OP

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