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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A man just pushed over my dn

58 replies

Lesausage · 12/05/2015 21:22

We were in the supermarket with 3dc all under 4, dn who was pushed is 2 1/2. Dn accidentally bumped into a man and he pushed her by the head and she smacked her head on the floor, she's ok but shaken up.

The supermarket are reviewing the cctv as the man had gone by the time we had picked her up and tried to console her.

I'm furious and very glad she's ok, AIBU to call the police if I have cctv?

What if he hurts another child worse than a bump on the head.

Who pushes a toddler? :(

OP posts:
minouwasminou · 12/05/2015 21:51

I've reported my posts with description and location, so they should be gone soon.

Original poster
Lesausage · 12/05/2015 21:52

UPDATE so they have the cctv and the police have been notified by the shop, now they are getting an expert to retrieve finer details :(

Dn won't go to sleep, she keeps saying the man is going to get her. She's so shaken up. Poor mite.

OP posts:
minouwasminou · 12/05/2015 21:54

Oh no.
Is there any way you could convince her it was an accident?

We kept telling DD that the "naughty man" fell over onto her and was scared he'd get told off by me and so ran away.
She talked about it for a long time...she was just short of three at the time.

Original poster
Lesausage · 12/05/2015 21:58

She's just short of 3 too, we obviously are consoling and saying it was an accident but she keeps saying he did it on purpose Confused

OP posts:
minouwasminou · 12/05/2015 22:05

Ok...they just know, don't they?

My DS is two years older than DD and saw it all, and one of the things we found useful was to repeat the advice that the police gave us, which was that it was ok, if the man approached us again, for me to push him away and for me to call the police there and then. Both children were worried about him coming to get DD again, and up until recently we used to see him about a bit, but we think he may have gone into a home now, which is sad in itself.

We didn't have any CCTV footage and witnesses just waltzed on by. I'm glad you will get some kind of result, as we didn't get much help, really.

minouwasminou · 12/05/2015 22:07

If it's any consolation, three years on, DD just makes jokes about him. Actually, we haven't really seen of thought about him of late, having not seen him.

Charlie97 · 12/05/2015 22:18

Oh bless DN little heart, poor thing, glad she is ok and hopefully to young to remember.

Unless suffering some sort of MH issues that are not being treated, he is a cunt.

MammaTJ · 12/05/2015 23:06

What a bastard! I hope they catch him!

Tiredmumno1 · 12/05/2015 23:31

I hope they catch him too, bloody disgusting behaviour.

maroonedwithfour · 12/05/2015 23:32

Hope he can be indentified and prosecuted. Bastard.

Timri · 12/05/2015 23:39

Fucking bastard Angry
Glad police have been informed

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 12/05/2015 23:58

Very upsetting for you OP, and your little niece, I hope she is OK.

I didn't think I'd ever say something like this, it's my reading of MN prompting me to do it.

Is it possible that the man has mental health problems, heightened sensory issues maybe, that prompted his behaviour. Like an uncontrollable reflex.

Thousands of people aren't getting the support they need if they are mentally ill and , from what I understand that is not likely to improve.

I have no axe to grind, it just grated a bit that everyone is calling him a bastard, a cunt, and disgusting.

If they do 'catch' him, I hope the possibility of help is considered rather than just prosecution.

Mermaidhair · 13/05/2015 02:14

I'm so sorry for you and your dn. Yanbu to call the police at all! If he has mental health issues, I wonder if he would do that to a big muscle tattoed man! I have always wondered that?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/05/2015 02:19

What a horrible experience for your niece, and your DD too minou!

Hope the police do catch up with him and take whatever action is appropriate. Assault is assault, mental health issues or not.

Eltonjohnsflorist · 13/05/2015 04:10

What difference does it make if he has mental health issues? Hmm

OP your poor niece. I don't know how you stopped yourself hitting him, I think I'd see red

ItsRainingInBaltimore · 13/05/2015 04:45

I agree Thumb assault is assault, but if it does turn out that he either has MH problems and/or sensory issues or is autistic, then there would be a very different response from the 'horrible nasty man, definitely call the police' we are hearing here.

It's all very well for Bewitched to say 'Thousands of people aren't getting the support they need if they are mentally ill' but what kind of 'support' can be given to stop this sort of thing ever happening other than banning care in the community and insisting on long term sectioning for the mentally ill and not allowing people with autism or sensory issues to go out unchaperoned? And even then, had this man had this man had pronounced sensory issues and a child bump into him he'd have done the same in a split second whether chaperoned or not.

Sometimes unpleasant stuff just happens and it's not very nice but it can't really be legislated for without using a sledgehammer to crack a walnut.

GobbyAbby · 13/05/2015 06:48

Obviously doesn't excuse what he did. But maybe he has a gammy leg or is unsteady on his feet and your dn charging into him really hurt or frightened him and pushing her away was a reflex. I think both you and your dn maybe need to reflect on the fact that elderly people can be frail and have illnesses and need to be respected and not bumped into

WiseKneeHair · 13/05/2015 06:55

Gobby - OP hasn't said he was elderly. In fact, if he did have a gammy leg, he managed to make a pretty swift get away on it. Hmm
For your DN OP Flowers

JudgeBooby · 13/05/2015 06:55

GobbyAbby What makes you think he was elderly, or am I missing something here?

Eltonjohnsflorist · 13/05/2015 06:59

Never in my life have I met an elderly person who would push over a child (by the head! Who ran into them)

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/05/2015 07:21

Gobby - that will be the 2 1/2 year old DN reflecting, will it?

MammaTJ · 13/05/2015 07:31

Well, the legal system in this country pretty much accounts for MH problems and other mitigating circumstances, so I still hope he gets caught!

Original poster
Lesausage · 13/05/2015 07:32

gobby dn wasn't running and the man wasn't elderly.

Dn was being silly and wasn't all over the place, it was a case of her taking a step back into a man by accident and him then pushing her by her head to the point she fell and cracked her head on the floor.

OP posts:
Catsize · 13/05/2015 07:33

bewitched, you beat me to it. I was thinking the same. But we could be wrong.

Original poster
Lesausage · 13/05/2015 07:41

bewitched I agree, we are sensible people and thought of the possibility of MH issues and hope he gets help if that is the case. I just hope he wasn't just being a vindictive man

OP posts: