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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a little celebration

26 replies

frazmum · 12/05/2015 20:11

Got my Bachelors degree a couple of months ago, took 6 years part-time while working and looking after kids. So feel pleased with my achievement.

However apart from a 'well done' nothing from the family. A dinner out would have been nice, or even a card. When DH got his masters years ago, there was a big fuss made by myself, plus both sets of parents.

Am I BU, don't want much?

OP posts:
Wombat22 · 12/05/2015 20:13

Congratulations and very well done. Thanks Wine

I'd love to do a degree but I know how hard it is to do whilst working let alone bringing up young kids.

YANBU

Nolim · 12/05/2015 20:15

Congrats.
Can you throu yourself a celebratory dinner or request one? Not ideal, i know, but you deserve it.

LizzieVereker · 12/05/2015 20:18

Blimey, well done! That's a huge achievement, especially on top of work and family commitments. Wine Thanks

(YANBU)

Hassled · 12/05/2015 20:19

No, you're absolutely not being unreasonable. You should be very proud of yourself, and they should all be very proud of you. Have you said anything?

misskatamari · 12/05/2015 20:22

Well done! Yanbu to want to celebrate, but can't you organise a nice meal to celebrate and invite everyone? I know it would be nice for them to think to do it, but personally I just think if you want to do something, don't wait around for other people and be disappointed when they don't do what you're hoping for, just organise it yourself and have a great time doing what you'd like to do.

Original poster
frazmum · 12/05/2015 20:22

Thanks. Just seems like Mum once again gets put at the bottom of the priority list. Eldest DD is 2nd year Uni - you'd think she'd get it and as I said BIG fuss made when DH got his. Dinner, cake, expensive presents. I'd just like a card and maybe a bunch of flowers.

If I throw myself dinner it would make DH feel bad for not thinking of doing something. TBH had forgotten about it but was chatting with a work friend today about how his degree was going. He's doing an Open Uni degree too. And I realised it's been a good few months now and nothing.

OP posts:
Original poster
frazmum · 12/05/2015 20:25

Also, apart from DH and DC's the rest are overseas. Just feeling sorry for myself. Also just had DD18 birthday and in a month DD21, so focus is elsewhere.

Maybe I need to buy a treat when DD's and I are away for the weekend in two weeks.

OP posts:
reni1 · 12/05/2015 20:27

Could you just talk to dd and say something like 'I wonder what dh will do to celebrate, he managed to keep it secret!' cue dd hectically texting her dad and them coming up with a dinner or garden party?

WineIsMyMainVice · 12/05/2015 20:29

YANBU. Go treat yourself!!!
Big pat on the back! Well done!

AuntyMag10 · 12/05/2015 20:30

Yanbu and congrats!
You should go ahead and book a dinner celebration. So what if your dh feels bad, he should anyway. Is he not proud of you completing your degree while raising your kids? And your dds are both old enough for you to tell them you are a bit disappointed. Don't put yourself at the bottom of the pile and quietly accept it.

Original poster
frazmum · 12/05/2015 20:30

Good idea reni1 - and men wonder why we have to resort to trickery to get them to do things. They are pathetic at times. Usually DH is pretty good but if he's focussed on other stuff, then no hope.

OP posts:
Original poster
frazmum · 12/05/2015 20:34

Thanks all - just felt a bit sorry for myself and then actually pissed off.

OP posts:
MomOfTwoGirls2 · 12/05/2015 21:00

OP, absolutely go ahead and organise your celebration dinner. Choose some place nice, let your DH know that he is to pick up the bill and organise some nice bubbley for a toast to your success.
Oh and a big well done and congratulations to you!

Original poster
frazmum · 13/05/2015 11:00

Have decided to just treat myself, maybe a weekend away. Just spoke with DD21 about maybe going away for weekend & found out definitely nothing planned. Apparently the cake her younger sister made was sufficient. Bet it's a different story when she graduates.

Just feel really let down. Big fuss made when DH got his Masters and I've just organised big 18 & 21st birthdays.

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 13/05/2015 11:03

Tell them you're treating yourself because they couldn't be arsed.

Well done.

Original poster
frazmum · 13/05/2015 12:00

DH has just rung & is organising a city break for the two of us.

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 13/05/2015 12:03

Brilliant!

Nolim · 13/05/2015 12:04
Wine
Oobis · 13/05/2015 13:26

Could you tell your DH you would like a celebration? My DH genuinely wouldn't think of planning such a thing unless I asked him to, at which he would most certainly oblige. Definitely worth marking the occasion and toasting your success, well done :-)

viva100 · 13/05/2015 13:54

Congrats!!! And yes, you definitely deserve a celebration! A 22 year old would expect an expensive dinner, to party with friends and, if parents are well off, a graduation trip too! This is how it was when I finished uni anyway!

Theycallmemellowjello · 13/05/2015 13:57

Meh, I never had cards or parties after any of my degrees. A well done is fine imo. YANBU to have a party if you want one, obviously a card or anything else is a very nice gesture, but it's not horrible for others not to do this for you and if you want a party you should just sort it out yourself.

helenahandbag · 13/05/2015 13:59

My mum did her undergrad and her masters part-time while raising us and working full-time. There was no getting around a celebration - she just took it into her own hands, threw a massive BBQ garden party and invited anyone who stood still long enough Grin

DeriArms · 13/05/2015 21:27

Congratulations to you, that's fantastic Flowers

reni1 · 13/05/2015 22:36

City break is great, fraz! Enjoy your well earned celebration.

TongueBiter · 13/05/2015 22:42

Enjoy!! My mother took me to Mc-fucking-Donalds