Very long story but I'll try to summarise in a nutshell. DH and are have been together for 7 years, married for 2 and expecting our first baby in 3 months, a boy. We lived in London for 5 years before buying a house in Oxfordshire where both his mother and stepfather live in addition to my parents. It made perfect sense and we are so happy here.
DH has a difficult relationship with his bio father who is very hard work frankly. He takes from DH and gives nothing. His mum and bio dad split when DH was 6mths and his stepfather has been an incredible father - a true example if ever there was one that step parents can be an incredible influence in a childs life and i adore him, as does DH.
Background: bio dad lives in london, never used to bother to see us. Only saw DH on occasion and when he did he moaned and caused him grief. He's never worked, choosing instead to try and become a famous musician. Drawback of this is that he has continually asked my DH for money (he owes us about £6,000 by my calculations). Didnt even RSVP to our wedding, didnt come and never so much as sent me a text afterwards. He has never visited us in Oxford. Of course when DH (rarely) sees him he is all sweetness and light. Aside from that, DH receives barrages of texts at all hours about how crap his life is etc etc which in the past used to make him worry a great deal but i suspect less so now.
I am expecting a boy and am having great difficulty choosing a name. The only 3 i liked (which DH mentioned to his bio father in a rare phone call last night) were absolute no no's because they were the names of people who have "shit on him" in his life. Only one of those names we were aware of (and it's hardly a rare name that only that person has) but the other two we hadnt heard of. DH panders to his behaviour and has said that we can't use them, despite them being definites two days ago. I am fuming. AIBU??