To think that announcements on social media should be made by the person with the news?

[donttweetwhereyoueat]

I'll try to be brief. I had an interview for a job recently, which I heard I got today. (Yay!)

On the day of the interview, DH tweeted - tagging me - saying the name of the job, and how proud he was that I'd got an interview. I saw this as soon as I came out of the interview and asked him to take it down, which he did straight away. My reason was that I was worried that colleagues etc might be able to see the tweet (I don't fully understand who can see what, but assume twitter is basically an open site). I was clear with DH about these reasons, saying that I'd been super-careful not to put anything on social media, as I was worried about colleagues seeing anything. I said that I realised it was kindly meant, but that it was inappropriate to broadcast confidential information in this way.

Today, I got the job. Within five minutes of telling DH, he'd tweeted to say "Feeling very proud of DontTweet - brilliant to have some good news!" He also put the same message on Facebook, tagging me. I have timeline review (so it'd didn't go on my timeline), but within a few minutes a mutual friend had asked "ooh, what's she done?". DH and I have mutual Facebook friends who are my colleagues, and whilst some of these are from the wider organisation, others are from my department - given the senior nature of my role, it's really important I'm careful about how people hear the news of my job. I've been very careful who've I told about the application. Again, DH took down the FB and twitter messages as soon as I asked him too, which I was relieved about.

I'm really pissed off about DH making an announcement - even though it was "discreet" (his word) it invited questions. I also think it's for me to make the announcement, as and when I want, and DH can show public support at that stage, if he's so inclined. There are loads of details to be worked out, and it's highly likely but not certain that I'll accept the job.

I also said to DH that I feel like the announcement is more about him (being seen as supportive) than him actually being supportive by responding to an unambiguous request from me about social media and the status of my application. He's furious about this, and says that I've offended and hurt him. AIBU?

It seems very controlling to want to be the first to share someone's news. And the fact he's in a strop he sounds a bit of a dick tbh OP

Why do people do this? A recent tale. 2 male friends Friend A died recently, Friend B found out and posted a big speech on facebook followed by a photo of Friend A, cue lots of people posting "sorry to hear the news" "big hugs for you", " you must be gutted" etc. but friends A and B had only met about 3 times in around 8 years. Friend A didnt even like friend B.

the family were not publically broadcasting it on facebook, but didnt stop friend B getting in there first with the news and getting all the sympathy. He didnt even go to the funeral. Tosser.

Ugh YES I feel your pain! My dithery auntie fb me "congratulations on your news, so exciting" or something of the sort thus outing my long await pregnancy way before I was ready to tell anyone but my family and close friends! Very annoying. Also one of my friends had her engagement announced for her which I felt was a bit shit.

Suffice to say when I go into labour I will be closing down my timeline!

You are really nbu!
I had to tear a strip off my mum about this kind of behaviour after she put on fb the sex and NAME of my baby - when I'd just had the 20 week scan. It simp!y had not occurred to her that I wanted to tell certain people - good friends and relatives - personally. She thought I was being unreasonable, even when I pointed out that it was mine and DH's news to share. I had to lay the law down quite hard - when he was born she wasn't allowed to put anything on social media till I'd told the people I wanted to. She did respect my wishes when she realised how upset and angry we were, but definitely left me with the impression she did nnt believe she'd done anything wrong and that we were being unreasonable.
Your DH wants to celebrate your news, but sticking stuff up on social media when he's already been told not to is quite disrespectful. Let him have his sulk, but remind him that some news is private.
Yanbu.

YANBU
we told our families yesterday that we're expecting and one of my SIL replies was 'wow, congratulations, can I share the happy news on facebook?'
if I wanted it blasting all over Facebook I'd have done it myself - to my own friends and not to yours I dont get it!

Thank you. I've always thought it really strange to post about others' news. I'd never mention someone's personal situation or news unless they did first. I've said to DH that I feel I'll have to be more careful about when I share news with him.

congrats about getting the job .

Your DH was wrong on two counts. Firstly, because it wasn't his news to share, at either time, and demonstrates exactly how narcissistic social media is. Secondly, and more importantly, does he work? Doesn't he realise how much trouble you could have got into, with both your current employer and also any future one (they might not be so keen to take on someone whose DH is such a blabbermouth)? I would be absolutely furious with DH if he did this; fortunately, he's not a total dimwit (and not on any social media anyway).

This was really indiscreet and stupid of your DH and could even have lost you the new job depending on their social media policy.

This kind of thing is a really weird and unpleasant kind of posing.