To point this out to you.

[morethanpotatoprints]

Several times today I have read comments that have really shocked me to the core.
I know that emotions are running high between right and left beliefs, but I feel once again I need to provide this link.

The comments range from asking how much a sp with 4/5 dc are costing them.
To telling a sp on a thread she should have kept her knickers on.
One poster even thinks that all benefit should be stopped for a sp who wasn't working and receiving benefit. They should be shamed, there should be a stigma etc, this wasn't said outright but alluded to.

within my life I have seen what happens to sp who can't afford to keep their dc, the stigma so bad that they weren't even told that there was a poor law that would have helped. They were vilified then as some people would do now and there are women who have never got over the experience of losing their children because society thought them a problem.

This is part of the film, the whole thing only lasts 90 min, but not for the faint hearted. If you have no idea what happened during the 1960's please watch and see the similarities to today.

I am a SP of 3 - and I hate all the shit people say about us - for the record I work - my ex left me for another woman when our youngest was 7 months old - it was awful

I have other friends who are single because their partners died

I have worked since I was 17 - I married and had kids in my 30's - you know all the 'correct' things we are supposed to do

well fuck em - I am thick skinned enough but I hate the thought that other may be hurt by such attitudes

Yanbu and thanks. Being a sp can be lonely and hard. As a single mum I'm expected to meet a host of standards while single dads still get kudos for showing up.

I only watched the last chunk but that was pretty rough.

Stuff like that makes me want to hide under the table.

"Cathy Come Home". I'm old enough to have seen this when it was first broadcast.

Forget "Wargames" or "Death on the Rock", "Cathy Come Home" genuinely shocked the nation.

We can't afford to go back in time, too many people were hurt.
I do hope that those who made these comments today can look at the bigger picture and realise their thoughts were those of a society not long ago and how wrong they were.

I agree. I've actually seen may similar comments on Mumsnet over the years about single parents.

It's disgusting to read comments like that which are made by women about other women.

All of these people who are wishing a stigma upon single parents have their wish. In the past few years I've been told many similar things. I have two children with disabilities and work also. I have no family support.

My daughter's father walked out on our family when she was just 10 months old and hasn't worked since. He lived at home with his parents and they pay for him (including the minimal amount of child support I receive). He receives no stigma, no shame. In fact I'm often told I'm lucky he's a good dad as he see's her one day a week.

My son's father died.

This was the main reason I was so upset the Conservatives got back into power, ever since they've ruled there has been an increasing amount of nastiness and people putting others down and criticising and the increase in disabilist language and bullying my older son has encountered is sickening.
I truly fear how bad things will get after another 5 years of what I feel is a Conservative hate campaign.

You might have encountered a couple of extreme views while emotions have been running high after the election, but it's really not mainstream to believe anything even close to single parents should get no help and have their children taken away from them.

Im a single parent for the second time now, and it honestly haven't experienced and stigma or been made to feel ashamed by other people. I don't think we need to worry about going back to the 60's.

That film bears NO resemblance to what happens to single parents today, even under 5 years of a conservative government.

Had 'Cathy' been transported into 2015 she and her children would have been housed. She asked for 'a room' and was turned down - the subtext was a room was what she would be happy with. Would most single parents today be content with a room?

'Cathy' would have had IS, CTC and CB for her two children. She would not have been rich. She would not have ben able to afford luxuries. But she would not be reduced to sitting in a railway station either.

There are faults and flaws in the system. The system needs looking at again. But it is ridiculous to draw comparisons between the above and 2015.

Nor me, Ptolemys

My gran was an unmarried single mother. In 1949. She was in her early 40's. My mother spent most of the first six years of her life in a catheolic orphanage run by nuns. My gran had to pay for this, she refused to give my mum up for adoption and would visit her once a week. (she actually worked all her adult life)

After five years she had saved enough to pay rent to go into "lodgings" at which point there was an "incident" which involved my mother being thrown down the stairs by another resident. The only reason my mum did not go into care was because they were able to get a one bedroom council flat.

My gran styled herself as a " Mrs" My mother knows nothing about her father apart from his name because of the shame. I have seen the impact of "the shame" on my gran and my mother. My mother has mental health issues. Her relationship with my gran was poor as she felt abandoned.

Is this what we want to go back to?

I left EA ex and was a sp to 3. I worked p/t in various jobs trying to get hours or p/t that suited the DCs, especially the youngest who is ASD.

I never experienced any stigma or nastiness aimed at me for being a sp.
Nothing.

Er - WHERE has it been said or implied that we will

Society has changed and what used to be seen as 'shameful' is no longer.

I am not getting this 'the Tories are in power' translates to 'single mothers will have their children taken from them' AT ALL! And I am a single mother!

It used to be illegal for a man to have sex with another man, you couldn't have an abortion and men could rape legally provided they were married to the woman they were raping I am LOST as to why people are suddenly shrieking about what happened years ago as if it is an imminent danger for us now; it isn't!

I was raised by a sp, we were poor. My df was useless and would steal from us, terrorise us. Dm had a nervous breakdown from trying to keep it all together. The strain on us kids was enormous, going to school not knowing what we would come home to, baliffs, loan sharks.

When I hear tory voters demonising sp who claim benefits it makes me want to cry/vomit/scream. 9,000 food banks in this country, vulnerable children and their parents being treated with contempt because of their apparently feckless choices in life. Kids who won't get a good a start in life, who just won't have the same opportunities to thrive in society, who won't get as good education as the people they are playing with at school. How on any planet is this fair?

All I can say is there but for the grace of go you. Forget the extremes, there are always going to be people who abuse any system (bankers, anyone?), the vast vast majority who end up being failed did not grow up choosing a career of benefit claiming, hoping to be a sp, wishing their kids to be in poverty and treated like scum. It can, and does, happen to anyone. More fool those who voted tory, because if it happens to you under their government, you're fucked.

Maybe I'm just unlucky then as I have been called a scrounger. I have also been told by one charming gentleman that " I should have kept my legs shut as his taxes have to pay for my mistakes ".

We may not be heading back to the 60s in terms of benefit provision but it is important to highlight why we have these provisions. In the past five years we have seen an increase in the propaganda against people receiving benefits for whatever reason.

I'd hope we were moving forward towards finding the correct balance between single mothers being given no support and being given a very comfortable lifestyle without having to work on benefits. In my view, were finally going in the right direction.

People have free access to contraception unlike in the 60's, every child gets a decent state education - right up to 18 for today's children, again, unlike in the 60s.

There is no real reason why parents shouldn't be expected to make responsible family planning choices, at the same time as the country providing a safety net for when things go wrong that couldn't be avoided.

My gran was "judged" by society. Here on mumsnet we see plenty of people "judging" others. I lived through the 80's where the attitude was "I'm alright Jack." It now seems to be "I'm alright Jack but why should I..." Social attitudes are hardening against those in need. The narrative is that people are claiming benefits because they are lazy, foolish or taking advantage. You can see it on these boards when the topics of tax credits or child benefits come up.

At the moment (at least!) children have rights as per The Children Act 1989. These include a right to a family life and their physical, educational and emotional needs being met. If these can't be provided by resident parent/foster carer then the Local Authority have a duty of care to step in and become the Corporate Parent.
If a parent presents as homeless to their Borough Council, they have a duty of care to provide some sort of accommodation, albeit temporary emergency accommodation.
It does worry me that aspects of the law will be changed, to the detriment of the child.

My DM was a SP with little support from my DF. She worked several jobs to ensure we had a reasonable lifestyle and with the help of a means tested Assisted Place, scraped enough money to be able to keep both myself and my DSis at our local private school. She got an au pair to enable her to work day and night shifts, and I remember her doing word processing privately for people on the side. We moved into a tiny house and my Dsis and I shared a bedroom.

PtolemysNeedle is right. We need to make sure the support is there for the people who need it, but we also need to make sure those people are helping themselves.

I am an SP because what was a committed relationship broke down, it wasn't a lifestyle choice. I do feel judged for it from time to time. A lot of people don't care, but I do sometimes get the impression their perspective of me changes when they find out I'm single and sometimes I'm hesitate to tell people, particularly school mums tbh as that's where the judginess tends to come from. I do worry that with the constant attack on parents who need the welfare state the trickle down effect is that people are and will become more judgemental.

I think I'm a better mother now than I was as part of a partnership. Being on my own has allowed me to do things my ex would never have encouraged and probably passively discouraged me doing, which has made me a more well rounded person, more happy in myself and a lot less judgey of other people. Maybe a lot of the judgipants just comes from people who are miserable in their own lives.

I was previously a single parent. I am very upfront about my DD's dad being my ex and having been a single parent. It's rare (except from my NC mother) to get comments. But they happen and I am very surprised/ disappointed by society when they do.
I've been asked whether I couldn't have "soildered on" for my DC (no, I'd be in a questionable mental state); whether it's alienating for them at school (this is an amazing one considering stats point to no). The weirdest are the "you don't seem like someone who'd get a divorce/ single-parent". (having dug they were working on that I look too old / too intelligent ffs - madness).

Other people's stupid prejudices will always exist, whether that's about a single parent, an only child, a gay couple, a large family, it doesn't matter. You can't control other people's preconceptions. I know I am the best thing for my children - just me, no 'D'H.

If people however genuinely believe that the YouTube link shared in the OP is a reflection on society today then I am sorry but that is ludicrous. Things are not getting tougher for single parents per se but for people who do not work, and single parents are part of that group. I'm not completely behind some of that but there is no danger of homelessness, of children being whisked into care or of starvation. I suspect what will happen is that single mothers of three year olds will be expected to work: not a bad thing. It's gone from twelve, to seven, to five, to three.

The narrative is that people are claiming benefits because they are lazy, foolish or taking advantage. You can see it on these boards when the topics of tax credits or child benefits come up.

People will take advantage if it's there for the taking though, especially when it's made so easy as it was under the labour government. I take advantage if being entitled to child benefit, it would be madness not to. I don't need it though, and if it were withdrawn then I'd just have to provide for my children myself, as I should be expected to do anyway.

You can't blame people for taking advantage when the government actively encourages them to, but that's why we badly needed welfare reform so that people are no longer encouraged to be dependent on the state and are encouraged to fend for themselves as far as possible instead.

There are similarities between now and then, of course there are.
After the war they threw up houses that by the 60's needed replacing as they were built as a temporary solution.
They didn't build enough, then started pulling them down in the 60's and building high rise, still not enough.
We still have the same problems of not enough housing now.
However, now its selling them off not pulling them down.

As for society stigmatising sp of course they do, it is increasing just like it did then.
Society didn't get there over night it took time, it started similarly to the comments I have been reading, which is why I posted.
Of course we could easily be back to these times again, because it's easy to see how some have forgotten or never known about it in the first place.
Maybe sp who work and provide for their children don't face stigma but like other groups who can't pay their way for whatever reason sp are facing the same stigma and condemnation as the other groups.
It's time to stop before it escalates.