To create my own sodding party

[GraysAnalogy]

because I'm sick to death about hearing about the rest of them.

I would promise you (pinky promise):

• all places of work would have nurseries. This would create jobs innit and allow parents to go to work.

• you'd all get a fruit bowl delivered to your door each week. This would also have a secret compartment of 'emergency chocolate and gin'.

• I would put cycle lanes everywhere, and if anyone got caught driving in it YOURE IN TROUBLE

• I would implement a special court for "Next Door Neighbour Disputes', we would tackle the real issues like who's to park where and whether or not you can paint fence panels. There will be gavels galore.

• Buses will have enough space for people in wheelchairs and baby buggies.

• There will be toilets for disabled people and toilets for those who need to take their pram in. Anyone misusing the toilets will be sent to a specially placed Naughty Corner in which they get flamed, a bit like a Mumsnet Stocks.

Is there anything you'd want to add to my party? I need MPs...

Replace PMQs with AIBU threads!

jobs for mums who have had a few years out, not because their other half is loaded but because they've got no sodding childcare and certainly cant afford to work for nothing.

Did you catch Sandi Toksvig on Women's Hour the other week? She is starting a political party... I reckon she could use you...

Nope, you've covered all my needs and wants

All men who call woman girls, as in "the girl in the office will phone you" etc get put in the naughter corner too

Join the women's equality party.

I didn't willnot thanks for that I'll catch it!

After a walk with the dog I also want to add:

• More bins for disposal of dog poop. People have the right to invoke a citizens arrest if they see anyone shitting and skitting

As long as you call it the "Sodding Party" it will be great.

• Tough penalties for train passenger (male usually) who sit with legs apart therefore taking up half of the next-door seat.