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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you would have your cat PTS if they showed signs of aggression towards you or your children.

113 replies

bumbleymummy · 11/05/2015 18:25

I've just been thinking about this recently. A lot of people seem to have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to dogs - if they growl/snap/bite that's it - aggressive behaviour - and, in many cases, PTS but people don't usually feel the same way about cats even if they hiss/growl/scratch/bite.

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 11/05/2015 18:27

I'm watching this with interest. Over the last two weeks my cats have really been lashing out at DS to the point they've left scratch marks and drawn blood.

I don't think it warrants them being PTS but I think I'm definitely going to have to rehome them Sad

bumbleymummy · 11/05/2015 18:27

Oops.. Early post.

So why do you think that is? I know dogs can do a lot of damage with a bite but even if they growl/snap to show they're upset/stressed it seems to get taken more seriously than a cat growling/hissing/scratching/biting when they're upset/stressed.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 11/05/2015 18:28

Has anyone ever been killed by a pet cat?

Or seriously maimed even?

MammaTJ · 11/05/2015 18:30

Nope but I did rehome him through the Cat Protection people to someone who did not have young children!

I has previously got an anal behaviourist in and she said he thought I was his mother and was jealous of any affection I showed my DC!

MammaTJ · 11/05/2015 18:31

ANIMAL* not anal!

FenellaFellorick · 11/05/2015 18:31

No. I'd take them to the vet because it's often a sign they are ill or in pain.
I'd do the same with a dog unless I knew already why they'd snapped. I am not really a dog person but I understand you can take them to behaviourists.
Pts would always always be a very last resort.

bumbleymummy · 11/05/2015 18:32

:( writer. Have you tried those plugin things that are supposed to settle them? Do they gave their own room/ high up space so they can get away if they need to?

Worra, there may be a few rare cases! I think it's just that even a warning growl/snap in a dog is seen as much more serious even though a scratch/bite from a cat at that 'warning' stage could be a lot worse. It just seems to be tolerated more. Do you think it's just the potential of what could go on to happen then that makes people react differently?

OP posts:
IHaveBrilloHair · 11/05/2015 18:32

No because it's unlikely they'd do major harm.

thenightsky · 11/05/2015 18:33

My mum got our cat PTS when my sister started toddling. We were both terrified of her anyway and we used to stand on the kitchen table when she came in to be fed. She went for my little sister the most though... she used to fly at her face with her claws, especially going for her eyes! And my sister still has scars up the backs of her legs where the cat used to fly at her and hang on with her teeth.

Demon cat that one!

FrChewieLouie · 11/05/2015 18:34

Sorry but I am laughing at the anal behaviourist Grin.

One of my cats was very jealous of dd2 when she was a baby (not dd1, curiously) and on one occasion she managed to leave a claw mark near her eye. I seriously considered rehoming at that point, but I tried a policy of keeping them apart first and that seemed to work, as the cat calmed down shortly afterwards.

Our vet recommended Feliway plug-ins, to reduce stress - not sure if that was what had the effect or whether it was just time.

ahbollocks · 11/05/2015 18:36

No. I would think the cat needs some space and quiet and that the child was bothering then tbh.
Why kill something that isnt a serious threat :/

WicksEnd · 11/05/2015 18:36

Sorry but Grin @ anal behaviourist. What a job!

SoldierBear · 11/05/2015 18:36

My last cat was from the cat and dog home - he'd been rehomed because he'd been "aggressive". At the grand age of 6 month. Turns out he'd been tormented by the children in the family who would deliberately hurt him.

He never showed any signs of aggression when I had him. Sadly, he was run over by a mother driving aggressively on the school run.

QuintShhhhhh · 11/05/2015 18:37

We had a seriously mean cat when I was a child, Tjorven. Not a great name, I know, she looked like a black and grey tiger. You just could not touch her at all. She would growl, and scratch if you came anywhere near her. My hands and legs were always covered in scratches, and boy could she Draw blood. Once she bit hold of my hand and would not let go.
I always tried to stay far away from her, but she used to want to lay in whatever seat I was in, so I felt chased away.

drinkscabinet · 11/05/2015 18:37

Look at the stats for A&E visits for dog bites vs cat bites (and how many of those cat bites are from pets rather than strays) and the relative seriousness of the injury.

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 11/05/2015 18:39

We rehomed a cat who was aggressive to our then-bot-quite-1-y.o DS. We hadn't had her long, and she wasn't settling in general (lots of weeing and pooing where she shouldn't), DS was never aggressive to her (lest anybody think differently), indeed, she barely registered with him. Then one day he was toddling down the hall, had already gone a bit past her and with no warning she reared up and just sunk her claws into his shoulder. I saw the whole thing and still can't believe it.

Turned out she'd been more feral than the crook at the cattery had told us, and she did her level best to force us to keep the cat, including threatening to put the cat down (which she wasn't allowed to do, because of the charity she allegedly represented) and "report us" (to whom?). We sure as hell weren't going to get our "adoption fee" back (and neither did the charity, funnily enough).

Sorry, rant over. Normally we're quite content catslaves: this was the notable exception.

Writerwannabe83 · 11/05/2015 18:40

OP - my DS is 13 months and the cats struggled from the very start when he appeared in the family home. I have tried the plug-ins, the sprays, calming medications, giving them their own room and spaces etc but as DS got older things just worsened. I feel so bad for them as they aren't happy here anymore. They used to be such social and loving cats but now they spend their time hiding away upstairs and they only appear when it's time for their dinner. One of them is always getting stress induced cystitis and it just isn't fair to make them live in such a stressful environment Sad

WorraLiberty · 11/05/2015 18:46

I'm not just laughing at the 'anal behaviourist'. I'm laughing at the whole sentence Grin

I has previously got an anal behaviourist in and she said he thought I was his mother and was jealous of any affection I showed my DC!

It sounds like the anal behaviourist thought you were his mother! Grin

wheresthelight · 11/05/2015 18:51

dogs can do far more damage in my experience however if my cat was persistent in attacking dd then i would have to rehome her although not sure I would gp down the pts route

AreYouSureGeorgeBernard · 11/05/2015 18:54

Under no circumstances.

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/05/2015 19:03

I lived with a massively aggressive cat for most of my childhood. I still avoid the spot on the stairs in my parents' house where she would sit and try to swipe at our eyes. Happy days. She was badly treated as a kitten so we felt sorry for her.

I think I would worry about a cat like that living with us. Just because our little friends would come round and it wasn't really safe.

Topseyt · 11/05/2015 19:04

There is no simple answer to your question, though it is true that many people seem more tolerant of cat behaviour than of dogs. I have two dogs and one cat.

The fact is that the bites of both cats and dogs can be dangerous in different ways.

Most dogs have very powerful jaws, designed for ripping meat from bone and actually crunching and grinding bone itself. Therefore, they are capable of doing a lot of physical damage, particularly to soft tissue.

Cats may be less powerful with their bite generally, but they can still be nasty. In fact, they apparently often carry a far higher level dangerous bacteria in their mouths than dogs do, which can be injected under the skin of a human or other animal if they have chosen to bite. So although there us usually much less soft tissue damage from a cat bite, there is actually a greater risk of a serious infection setting in. There is some risk of that too from dog bites, but it is much greater from cats. I was told this by my vet when I had taken my poorly cat to see him a few years ago. I don't think it is widely perceived though.

Aggression in any animal may have many causes too, not all of them meaning that the animal is actually normally dangerous. These may include illness, injury, fear and annoyance (provocation from taunting perhaps). Dogs in particular can be very stoical when it comes to pain, and may show little sign of it until it is well advanced sometimes. They might then suddenly react to something in a way they never did before.

So, as I said, no simple answers. I would always advocate caution and respect and I am very big on insisting that none of my animals are ever unattended around young children, preferring to be safe rather than sorry. I do think though that zero tolerance is too simplistic.

Welshmaenad · 11/05/2015 19:09

Agree with pp saying take the cat to the vet. We took our old car to the vet when she lashed out at then toddler dd which was out if character. She had s belly full of tumours and we had to have her PTS that day as treatment wasn't really a humane option. She had been in pain and that was how it manifested.

I'd rehome a cat that was aggressive with no medical reason. When I was bitten by a dog recently the nurse who cleaned it said that although cat bites are less common they can be much more serious due to the increased risk of infection or transmission of toxoplasmosis etc.

Devora · 11/05/2015 19:11

Well yes, I think the potential harm that can be done is the whole point, isn't it? It's not an unreasonable reason for taking cats' aggression less seriously. I think it is pretty rare for cats's aggression to be a serious problem, though as this thread shows it does happen. When I was a child we had a parrot that used to attack us - fly onto our heads and try to peck our eyes - but I think generally people don't take parrot aggression very seriously, either Smile

Obviously a highly aggressive cat is not compatible with children. But I'd be interested if anyone has ever heard of a cat that deliberately sought out children outside the family to attack them? Because that's another reason why dogs get PTS, isn't it? The risk to others, which can't always be effectively managed as dogs do have to leave the house and be in public places.

Devora · 11/05/2015 19:17

Just to add: I have been bitten on the hand by a non-domesticated cat, and I got a very very nasty infection. My entire arm was very swollen and the pain was extreme - easily comparable to being in labour. I ended up in A&E at 2am on Christmas Day. It took two rounds of antibiotics to clear and it was six weeks till I could use my hand again.

Certainly a learning experience for me: I had over-estimated my cat whispering abilities and, typical townie, underestimated how serious a cat bite can be. It didn't put me off cats, but I'm a bit more wary of letting my dc stroke ones we don't know.