Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't know what to do about my cats

41 replies

Ihavecats · 11/05/2015 17:07

I used to live in a house. It was only small (terrace) with two bedrooms but it had a long back garden. So I had cats, adopted from the rescue centre. I had two originally, both elderly, but then one died and I got two kittens from the same litter also from the rescue centre.

Then my dad died suddenly, I gave birth the next month. My partner had gone. I was 'stony broke' and moved into my dads flat. All is ok except my cats.

They just haven't settled. They constantly want to go in, out, in out, sometimes it's the middle of the night and one of them will be yowling to be let outside. They keep killing mice and leaving them outside, I remove them as soon as I see them but obviously this isn't nice for the other residents, I just hope I can get in there first (think I usually do.) as soon as I sit down someone miaows to go out. I get virtually no uninterrupted sleep at all, my daughter is ok it's the cats!!!

But I don't think I can re home them. Apart from the morals, one of them is old. Very very old.

One is so timid, he is even nervous of me. The other isn't so bad but she's not the most cuddly of cats. They also aren't very 'cutesey' cats. They are black cats so hard to rehome and are fluffy.

I don't know, I guess I chose to get them. I'm stuck with them, but I feel so bad for them and for me tbh as I am permanently worn out and honestly it is the sodding CATS!

OP posts:
marmaladegranny · 11/05/2015 17:10

Have you tried Feliaway spray or plug ins? It may get them to chill out a bit.
How long have you been in the flat? It can take cats several weeks to settle in a new place…..

Original poster
Ihavecats · 11/05/2015 17:14

Nearly a year now; DD is one next month Confused

I think they have always been awkward insofar as doors are concerned, like all cats really. But I have to go down several steps of stairs several times a day for them. And there's the yowling when I don't do as I'm told as they want immediately. It sounds pathetic, but I cried last night as I was exhausted and they woke me at 4.

Have had felliway for a while due to timid cat - doesn't seem to make much difference, I don't know what he'd be like without it though.

OP posts:
ArcheryAnnie · 11/05/2015 17:16

What floor are you on, OP? And what is your outside space like?

Original poster
Ihavecats · 11/05/2015 17:18

Fourth floor. Outside space is quite nice, there's a hedgey bit and a stream.

OP posts:
midnightvelvet01 · 11/05/2015 17:18

You can't go on like this!

I have no suggestions as I only have an indoor cat, but just wanted to say if you post in the Litter Tray topic under Pets there are loads of knowledgeable cat people there who may not see a post in aibu.

Other than that, have you considered keeping your old cat & rehoming the 2 others. Peoples' circumstances change & you have tried for a year so you shouldn't feel badly of yourself for rehoming as it doesn't sound like any of you are happy Brew

addicted2cake · 11/05/2015 17:20

Have you spoken to the re-homing centre about the possibility of re-homing them? Or put an ad in local paper or on local mumsnet asking for possible re-homing.
Sounds like a nightmare for you! I'm guessing that you can't put in a cat flap as it sounds like you're on an upper floor?

Original poster
Ihavecats · 11/05/2015 17:22

Yeah, I've thought of that ... I just don't think anyone would have them. If I'm being totally honest, if I went to the CPL or similar and there are all these sweet friendly animals and my two glowering and scowling at you - I probably wouldn't!

They were cute kittens Confused but they aren't friendly or loving really.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ihavecats · 11/05/2015 17:24

Yeah, they won't use a cat flap anyway!

It's also the pestering as soon as I pull up, they want to come in. Today I dropped dd at nursery and was about to set off for work and realised I'd left something at home. So I nipped back. I'd been gone 15 minutes and the cats were yelling to come back in as if I'd been gone hours.

I just seem to have such demanding cats.

OP posts:
Talismania · 11/05/2015 17:24

Aww. I'd take them if I didn't already have cats that don't like other cats.

hiccoughybump · 11/05/2015 17:52

This might be the wrong thing to do but I'd shut them out of your bedroom and ignore any night time requests to go out. Put them out in the morning as soon as you're up. If pestering you doesn't work hopefully they'll give up and let you sleep

Original poster
Ihavecats · 11/05/2015 18:01

I can't - unfortunately! It's a one bedroom flat and they just yowl at the door and scratch. I do mostly ignore them at night as I'm just too tired to do anything else. But they make such a fuss.

OP posts:
trufflesnout · 11/05/2015 18:04

It sounds like you have too many cats in too little space and they are struggling to sort out their territories/boundaries/behaviours because of it.

To be honest it sounds like there could be a lot going on here - I would take them to the vet and explain your situation and see what they suggest.

I also wouldn't worry about rehoming the not-old-cats, if overcrowding is an/the issue - the glowering and sulking is probably coming from an imbalance in their environment rather than them just being mean cats iyswim.

Original poster
Ihavecats · 11/05/2015 18:06

I dunno, they were sulky, stroppy cats even when they had a big garden to play in! They just aren't "people" cats iyswim

OP posts:
trufflesnout · 11/05/2015 18:09

Yeah I get what you mean, so being cooped up with your owner in a very small flat - plus a new, second person, and a new cat - can't be very nice for them.

ArseForElbow · 11/05/2015 18:10

My parents cat does this at their front door to get in and out, he scratches and scratches until one of them get up, if they ignore him he goes up to their bedroom and wakes them up. Sorry I don't have an answer other than to rehome the younger ones.

Original poster
Ihavecats · 11/05/2015 18:11

There aren't any new cats?

OP posts:
trufflesnout · 11/05/2015 18:12

Sorry - got confused - thought elderly cat was your dad's not yours from a prev batch. My point still stands though. I think you've overcrowded.

MakeItACider · 11/05/2015 18:20

If they ask to go out at inappropriate times, just squirt them with water. They'll soon get the message that yowling at you to go in and out when it's night time won't get them outside - it will just get them wet.

trufflesnout · 11/05/2015 18:24

That's not fair on the cats, Cider, they yowl to communicate, not to be annoying.

kali110 · 11/05/2015 18:25

My cats used to cry and scratch at night to get out so i put things up the door so they can't!
Do they have places they can each go to get away from each other?
Try the cat flap idea again.
They may get used to it, however you need patience.
Do they have toys to play with?

Original poster
Ihavecats · 11/05/2015 18:29

They aren't really into toys. They do go away from each other but they like one another, they all sleep in a pile :)

I can't have a cat flap! Not one that leads out down 4 flights of stairs anyway! Grin

You're probably right and it's overcrowded but I just don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Moreshabbythanchic · 11/05/2015 18:33

Have you got litter trays? Maybe they need to go out for the toilet. I have 4 cats and have recently moved house, they are taking time to settle.

Try a litter tray each and a spare, I know its a pain changing them but you might get some more sleep.

Good luck!

ahbollocks · 11/05/2015 18:34

I woukd keep the older cat and try to rehome the other two through people I know, might take time and I know you love them but your flat sounds too small and stressful all round.
I love cats and I wouldnt normally say rehome but think it would be for the best

Original poster
Ihavecats · 11/05/2015 18:36

Yup have litter trays.

I just think they'd be PTS if I tried to rehome them

OP posts:
trufflesnout · 11/05/2015 18:37

There are shelters which will not PTS. I think there are more that don't PTS than those who do tbh.

Swipe left for the next trending thread