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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to deal with this friend?

23 replies

ChandlerBing · 11/05/2015 14:54

I run with a friend once a week. She usually suggests having a run together, although I do sometimes too.

Whenever we run or meet up she seems to be in a foul mood; sometimes she is grumpy and moany and at other times she is uncommunicative and you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. She doesn't ever seem to fully listen to anything I say. She also doesn't really seem to appreciate me as a friend; I recently gave her a birthday present for her DD and didn't even get a thank you. If we are running together and she sees someone else she knows she literally has a personality transplant and is all smiley, chirpy and chatty with them.

She has also recently started running another day each week with another friend of hers and I've seen them running past my house a few times, giggling away and having a great time.

And I know this sounds silly but she always puts a Facebook status up after her run with the other friend saying what a great time she's had but never ever after running with me.

She has known me for a long time so I'm not sure if she takes my friendship for granted? Or perhaps she doesn't like me? Although I wouldn't have thought she would suggest running with me if she didn't? I'm not a boring person, I'm a "fun" person (IMO) but when out running with her I feel like a naughty child who can't have a laugh and have fun as she's so stern!

Should I ditch her?

OP posts:
WhoNickedMyName · 11/05/2015 14:56

Yes.

longdiling · 11/05/2015 14:58

Never mind what SHE thinks of YOU. Do you enjoy her company? Do you enjoy running with her? I can't imagine you do considering the behaviour you describe. Life is far too short to waste time with people who you don't actually like and who don't treat you well. Ditch her. Don't spend a moment longer tormenting yourself about how she treats other people in relation to you.

MaidOfStars · 11/05/2015 14:58

Perhaps she's so comfortable with you that she doesn't need to do anything other than pound her grumpiness out on the pavement, in silent companionship.

clutches at straws

Bodyinpyjamas10 · 11/05/2015 15:01

Defiantly and tell her she's draining the happiness out of you. May as well be honest.

Why have you been so nice? My first response to a face like a slapped arse is either cheer up or fuck off.

Life's too short to pander to drains.

MissPenelopeLumawoo2 · 11/05/2015 15:05

Have you posted about her before, it sounds very familiar! I think you should just be 'busy' for a while if she suggests a run. See how she reacts and see how you feel- will you actually miss her or not?

crymeariverwoo · 11/05/2015 15:08

Do you ever meet up with her other than running? I run with friends on a weekly basis and we literally never speak... only now and then! I am too busy concentrating on my running to be able to talk! but then... I am always so out of breath I can't really get any words out! If she acts like this when you meet up on other occasions then maybe there is more of a problem, but really most runners I know won't be chatting while running

eddielizzard · 11/05/2015 15:11

yes, be unavailable. with any luck she'll have a good think about her behaviour and have a light bulb moment.

xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv · 11/05/2015 21:48

Have I read this before?

msgrinch · 11/05/2015 21:54

I swear we had the exact same thread last month.

fiveacres · 11/05/2015 21:58

I've known grouchy people like this.

Would you be able to say something like 'I'll give running a miss as you don't seem to enjoy it much. I have to admit I do wonder if it's me, as you seem ok when we bumped into X.' Or would that not go down well?

It's hard I know but sometimes you do have to pull people up on their behaviour, otherwise they carry on and on ...

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 11/05/2015 22:04

She sounds like a bit of a moose, why run with her if she's unpleasant?

I agree thst this thread sounds familiar, have you written about her before?

Lipsync · 11/05/2015 22:09

Why are you only asking whether she doesn't like you, and worrying about why she doesn't post nice things on FB about you? Do you like her? Do you enjoy your runs? Would you want to continue the relationship? Why are your feelings of less importance than hers?

Dublinlass · 11/05/2015 22:16

I think deactivate Facebook. A lot of these threads are people annoyed/sad about status updates. I got rid of my Facebook account(which is probably why I joined this site), and honest to god best thing I ever did. Now when I want to talk to friends(real friends),I'm back to ringing them and I hear news for the first time instead of reading about it on fb and then being told same news again when I ring... Best thing I ever did!!Grin

boardgames · 11/05/2015 22:35

Are you a better runner than her?

YouPooPooBumBum · 11/05/2015 22:36

I am having déjà vu Confused

mrsfuzzy · 11/05/2015 22:43

yes, i remember this thread too, why are you asking the same question again?

CrapBag · 11/05/2015 22:44

I've definitely read this before. Wasn't she ditching you to go running with someone else?

Eigg · 11/05/2015 22:45

It's very easy - just don't run with her again.

It's not fun for you, it doesn't seem to be fun for her.

Just stop.

msgrinch · 11/05/2015 22:46

Chandlerbing do you run like pheobe buffet?! Grin

kissmethere · 11/05/2015 22:51

This sounds dejavuey to me too.
Sorry to be blunt but it just sounds like she doesn't like you very much. Maybe she feels obliged. Is there any bad history?
Definitely stop going running with her. Find someone different to run with who enjoys your company.

Fleecyleesy · 11/05/2015 22:54

Don't go running with her anymore. Simple!

straighttothepoint · 11/05/2015 23:22

Ditch her!

ThreeFrazzledFandangos · 12/05/2015 00:14

I've read it before too, almost if not exactly the same. Then friend mum declines run with OP and she bumps into her with another friend.

Friend mum + friend run off together laughing and OP feels Sad

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