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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask you if you're on the PTA/organising committee of anything?

56 replies

whiskeytangofoxtrot · 10/05/2015 20:01

If you are, why do you do it?
If you're not, why not?

We are trying to recruit more people and don't know how else to appeal.

OP posts:
firefly78 · 10/05/2015 20:07

would be concerned about bitchiness/cliqueness and dont have time.

Hassled · 10/05/2015 20:08

Not anymore, but I used to be.

The best way to recruit is to make it obvious what the point of the PTA is - I think lots of parents have this misguided view that being in the PTA is just about being one of "those" parents, part of the clique - that it's all about their own self-importance. But if you spell it out - so last year we made £X and that paid for X library books/that trip/those football strips/that disco, and without the PTA none of that would have happened - people start to see the point.

And make the meetings as parent-friendly as you can, which of course is a minefield because the working parents can't make daytime, single parents can't make nighttime and so on - maybe alternate them?

TeenAndTween · 10/05/2015 20:08

Yes because I have the time & I have the skills and I think the cause is worthwhile.

I think people don't commit because:

  • they think current organisers are a clique and they think they won't fit in
  • they don't think they have useful skills
  • they are worried they'll get sucked in and asked to give more than they can
  • they've tried to help before and been rebuffed/under-appreciated.

So you need to address those issues in your recruitment.

lostscot · 10/05/2015 20:09

I'm on pta and comm of a local charity that brings children to the UK that were affected by the Chernobyl explosion. Pta because I want to make our school the best it can be for all the children there, raise money for it and organise fun events for everyone. To be honest I get slightly annoyed that some people chose a small village school that's not their local one but better and then show no support. The other comm because the children are amazing, they have so little at home and we are so privileged in the UK. I want my children to realise how lucky they are, I visited the children at their homes and I can't walk away now!

WipsGlitter · 10/05/2015 20:09

I'm a dipper in. I don't go to the meetings but will respond to emails for help at events etc.

Th first time I volunteered to help at something though, the chair an utter arse told me to just "pitch in". I hadn't a clue what needed done, where stuff was etc. Bery annoying. Our current chair is great full of energy.

DisappointedOne · 10/05/2015 20:10

Yes I am. No space in governing body so PTA is next best thing. Ours is tiny and lacks motivation, so currently leading a marketing push to get more people on board.

Original poster
whiskeytangofoxtrot · 10/05/2015 20:10

Thanks both
PTAs do have a rep for bitchiness - why is this?
Ours is so nice, just so few of us that we're over worked.

OP posts:
chairmeoh · 10/05/2015 20:11

Yes. Active on PTA.
I joined to make friends as I was new to the village and school.

We struggle with getting new people too. But recently made a song and dance about the things that have been funded by PTA, and how only a few of us are active. We acknowledged that some parents can't meet eves or daytime and tried to accommodate this when organising meetings.

We also had to review our programme of events and cancel a few because we couldn't cope. This has led to a few new parents joining you, some only involved via email as they can't make the meetings. This works out fine, they can help source raffle prizes, organise Rotas etc at times that suit them.

PeachyPants · 10/05/2015 20:13

I'm not on the PTA. To be honest this is partly to do with work pressures, I work full time at present and with this and other evening commitments I don't want to spend my limited free time doing PTA stuff. I was also on the committee of my children's preschool and found this a very stressful, lots of work and responsibility for very little thanks and at times some very difficult experiences with staff and parents who weren't paying their bills. I know this isn't the same as PTA work but it made me revaluate whether I wanted to get involved with the PTA when the DC started at school, I think there is a catch 22 where the work falls onto a small number of people. Finally the chair is a difficult character and I wouldn't want to spend time with her voluntarily. I am very grateful for the work the PTA do though and I always support financially and help out on an ad hoc basis.

BikeRunSki · 10/05/2015 20:13

Chairperson of school wraparound/holiday club - I donut because I really rely on the club. It's been nearly 2 years and I really enjoy it now, like the other committee members and it gives me a connection to the school as a working parent.

Cycling club welfare officer - because DH and DS are involved in the club and race in their colours. I go to most of the kids coaching sessions anyway... The role was vacant, I was asked to do it....

Tanith · 10/05/2015 20:14

Not the PTA, but I am a committee member for another organisation and I joined because it was very clear that the thing would fold if I didn't.

In other words, it wasn't a clique - I felt genuinely needed and as though I had an important contribution to make.

There will always be those who can't help due to other commitments. Trying to guilt trip them won't change that and will only make you sound martyrish.

PerspicaciaTick · 10/05/2015 20:14

With a huge sense of relief, not any more.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 10/05/2015 20:15

yes I'm on a PTA, do it becuase wanted to meet people and escape from baby number 3 LOL, but it has been great fun - at it 10 years now! hard work, well worthwhile and great fun.

BikeRunSki · 10/05/2015 20:15

I deliberately chose not to br on PTA when ds started school, and it is dominated by some people I really don't like and I just could not be doing with all the political shenanigans in my very _rare and precious spare time.

PicaK · 10/05/2015 20:16

Pta - I like organising things, I get to use "work" skills (sahm) and I genuinely believe in what we're doing (nice extras for the kids) plus I have the time.
Our rule is that one person has to ask one other person individually to do something - so we think of blanket emails as more of a heads up to people rather than an actual request.
Finally not everyone is at a place in their lives where they can donate time - so you need to be just as grateful for the ones who come and enjoy events.

Mrsstarlord · 10/05/2015 20:16

Make it clear what you do. Fancy names are lovely but might cause confusion - PTA is just fine.

+1 for cliquey - maybe circulate in the playground rather than talk to the same group. Maybe offer a social / drop in each term for anyone interested. Use social media to build relationships and invite new parents to the group.

Think about childcare, home time is a terrible time for meetings as you have tetchy kids to sort out - maybe earlier and finish in time for home time?

Theknacktoflying · 10/05/2015 20:18

I was part of the PTA but qut

  • Didn't like the way that things were done - raising funds and then deciding how to spend them so that those who raised the funds never benefited from their donations. I thought the PTA was ripped off and overcharged.
  • PTA didn't quite know what it was - fundraiser or some kind of social committee - some of the best attended events ended up costing the most/least profit
  • Parents don't want to get involved - it was always the same faces and the same excuses regardless of what was on offer
  • Fundraising task should not be a solely parent led thing - perhaps a function of the school itself rather than relying on a bunch of hard pressed parents to fund extra things
  • PTAs are accused of being insular but I think it is more of an excuse not to take part
306235388 · 10/05/2015 20:18

I am. I do it because I'm just that kind of person I suppose I always tend to get involved.

I run the PTA. I've just taken over this week and we have about 10 parents helping. There are 800 kids in the school. It's depressing but we do our best and are trying to focus on fundraising which is minimum input like dress down, rag bag, raffles, bake sales etc.

Sparklingbrook · 10/05/2015 20:21

I have done in the past. had a really bad experience though. I said I would help with Pre-school fund raising etc, didn't want to be Chair/Secretary or anything. I had a 3 year old and a 6 month old at the time.

As soon as I joined it was decided I was to be the Treasurer and I was to do the books/banking and write cheques to pay staff etc. I said I would rather not and was told there was nobody else and kept being told if there was no comittee the Pre-school would have to fold etc. Horrible.

meglet · 10/05/2015 20:23

I don't. because I don't speak in meetings and don't have time.

we're hoping to volunteer at parkrun this summer. but that's all I can manage as a LP with a job.

Justusemyname · 10/05/2015 20:25

I am and I enjoy feeling useful, it's great to know the children benefit from the extras we fund and I've made friends through it.

Same people all the time though..

ShouldIworryornothelp · 10/05/2015 20:27

Nope.

The parents made it clear they don't like me or my kids so sod helping their little darlings out.

KERALA1 · 10/05/2015 20:28

PTA. Big school (400 plus) friend and I went along thinking it would be packed and we would sit at back and slink off walked in to overjoyed faces and we left as joint chair. Everybody thinks "somebody" else is doing it and I am cursed with an overactive conscience so end up doing it if nobody else will. Raised £30k for the school now thank god a younger parent arrived and we have off loaded it to her and escaped.

Hilariously you work your arse off to benefit all the kids whilst at all tines remaining ridiculously friendly and inclusive only to receive "feedback" on events from sahms with school age kids who never lift a finger. Brilliant!

petalunicorn · 10/05/2015 20:42

I help, but I ring fence what I will do quite tightly so it doesn't suck everything from me. I help because I want all the kids to get access to some decent stuff at school, because I do have the time/energy/supportive partner and I want to set a good example to my kids.

I think you have to think about who your target audience is with a PTA. In our school the PTA is mainly part time workers with a supportive full time working partner. For all kinds of valid reasons. In other areas you may want to target the SAHMs. Have a think and target those people.

There are a few comments about preschool committees on this thread. Preschools are so melodramatic. It would be really unusual for them to fold without a committee and wouldn't happen overnight, they are usually allowed to operate without all the roles fro a while, then if it gets really bad the Council or a voluntary services support organisation (depending on your area) would get involved to help get the right support in place. By the time all that happened your own child would probably have left. I have had children in private and committee run preschools. There was no significant difference in the hourly rate and in the private one it was nice not to have all the begging for cash and pleas for committee members.

ChillySundays · 10/05/2015 20:45

Was on PTA when DC were at primary school. Had a small group that would come to meetings but there were always others who would help out at events.

Ours would always do a presentation at the meeting re induction for the reception class.

It is worth saying that any help is appreciated and that it doesn't have to eb every meeting or every event