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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel a bit defensive of this site?

79 replies

Fatmomma99 · 10/05/2015 00:11

I'm quite new (although been posting quite a lot! I'm quite enthusiastic about this site).

I've seen posts saying this site is fake, and that there are vipers on here (esp on weekend nights).

But I REALLY like AIBU. I really, really do.

I first looked as a bit of work-skive, but I'm totally hooked. What I really love is that people post questions they want answers to and they GET answers.
And the majority of those are supportive, but also honest.

I REALLY like that people don't necessarily agree with OP, but give their opinions and reasons.

There ARE a few trolls, I've seen those, and they can be nasty.

And some might be fakes, and have to accept that.

And people are also very judgey, but (as they often admit) they don't know all the facts and they go on what they know.

I've been on the wrong side of that when I posted a post about a work situation that a colleague (who was a new friend) informed me about and people came back to say "new friend is shit stirring - you should dump her!" and I was really taken aback when I saw it, because she is lovely and I would be horrified to dump her because she is so nice. But they were going on the information I had given them.

And, basically, what I see on this site is women given honest comment, and mostly done in a supportive way.

AIBU to think that is ACE?

I think this site is TOP!

OP posts:
MrsGentlyBenevolent · 11/05/2015 10:21

Oh, it's not just AIBU, obviously that's an easy target in terms of finding the whole site as I described in my first post. I won't even get started on the Feminism forum, I may actually get lynched. The Classics have given me a good few laughs though, so swings and roundabouts I guess!

WorraLiberty · 11/05/2015 10:21

Yes but how many 5k hotel threads do you see, compared to other more normal threads?

The unusual ones are the ones that stick in your mind.

And as Sparkling says, you have to take a lot of it with a pinch of salt.

There are some real Walter Mitty types on here and when they trip themselves up, they simply name change.

Sparklingbrook · 11/05/2015 10:24

I have Feminism/Relationships Topics hidden.

I have mixed feelings about Classics. I think Penis Beaker is in there for a start-and the Pom Bears thread which was Hmm.

WorraLiberty · 11/05/2015 10:26

I never read classics.

Oddly enough if a thread isn't 'live', it doesn't really interest me.

Sparklingbrook · 11/05/2015 10:27

Sam here Worra, can't read a dead thread-it's not the same. I want to see it evolve before my very eyes. Grin

WorraLiberty · 11/05/2015 10:32

Hello Sam. What have you done with Sparkling? Grin

Sparklingbrook · 11/05/2015 10:35

Grin My typing is getting worse, can't even blame my phone/fat fingers.

WorraLiberty · 11/05/2015 10:36
Grin
Tuesdaysgone · 11/05/2015 10:39

You can't deny that MN is a very middle class forum though.

Tanith · 11/05/2015 10:41

I quite liked the Election threads - had no idea I was so politically minded Grin

I don't think I turned into a loony leftie or rabid right winger, though (hopes devoutly!).

I've been in a Waitrose, too. And an Asda. Prefer Waitrose, though Smile

Sparklingbrook · 11/05/2015 10:41

Is it though? I don't see that on the threads/topics I post in. Watching BGT and discussing what's good at B&M Bargains etc....

WorraLiberty · 11/05/2015 10:45

I can't make up my mind if it is or not really.

A lot of people do claim to be middle class, which I find a bit odd as I can't think of any other forums where class is discussed as much as it is here.

In RL the middle class people I know, really aren't class obsessed and would consider it a bit vulgar to announce their class.

The wannabe middle class people I know, do tend to crow from the roof tops a bit, which of course doesn't make them appear to be classy at all.

Tuesdaysgone · 11/05/2015 10:49

That's true, Worra.

I've never been on a forum where posters announce their class and degree results as much as they do on MN.

Sparklingbrook · 11/05/2015 10:54

I think over the three or so years I have been here I have developed a reasonably good filter and really don't notice.

Lots of not opening threads or hiding them. I hide mid thread even after being involved on it if it goes really strange.

bendybrickpumpkinpatch · 11/05/2015 10:57

I never read dead threads either. I don't see the point.

I don't see the point of Classics full stop actually ?

Sparklingbrook · 11/05/2015 10:58

I don't if I am honest. Mostly when there's a cry of 'Ooh this should go in Classics!' I am a bit 'Why'? Confused

People seem to like it though.

Bambambini · 11/05/2015 13:24

You only have to compare it to netmums - I think it's definitely much more of an older, better educated, more middle class and richer demographic.

Sparklingbrook · 11/05/2015 13:42

Haven't studied NetMums in great detail. They had an Elections 2015 topic though which I was very Envy of.

Original poster
Fatmomma99 · 11/05/2015 15:23

The other thing I'm beginning to notice is recognizing the same names in different threads. Worra and I, for example, seem to look at a lot of the same things, and Worra's name jumps out at me now if she's posted on s.thing that I'm reading.

I like that.

And I wonder if people declare their class because it seems relevant info when your posting anonymously??? Don't know if I'm right about that... still too new.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 11/05/2015 15:42

Recognising the names is great, but then you have all the endless namechanging which spoils it a bit IMO.

I have not seen people declare their class on here-I just think assumptions are made.

Lweji · 11/05/2015 16:54

Some people do declare their class (or lack of) and there have been threads about which class do pp think they belong to.
Or middle class is used as an insult.

Sparklingbrook · 11/05/2015 17:09

I would hide any thread like that-what would be the point of posting?

SuperFlyHigh · 11/05/2015 17:09

It is a hilarious site and I was directed here by Google many moons ago when I was after help re PPI claims. There was an amazing thread here then on it.

I stayed and posted on S&B, AIBU, Litter Tray, Employment and Relationships.

I will say that you have to know how to read the site and the comments and to take certain stuff with a pinch of salt. I also know that if you are unbelievably nasty/bitchy you'll be pulled on it or reported. Other sites they can allow that to happen.

Vipers, trolls etc are all part and parcel of most internet web-chat style forums, MN knows that, you get the popular clique vipers and the idiotic trolls who return time after time but generally this is a site for recreation and advice.

I don't do the webinars/chats with Jamie Oliver etc (I think I did post a question to someone once but it wasn't answered!) or the Site Stuff - eg when they have campaigns but I like the fact that they're there. I do also like the other stuff, competitions for and feedback from mums (and dads!) on all sorts of stuff.

There is also no way this site is fake, how could it be?! Grin

Sparklingbrook · 11/05/2015 17:10

Can't believe JO is doing another webchat.

SuperFlyHigh · 11/05/2015 17:11

Bambinini and Sparkling - I did join and post on NM for a while but my goodness the hugs and bubs and glitter really DID put me off.

Also it tended to be for me very safe, eg no swearing etc and I got bored quickly and returned to MN.

Swipe left for the next trending thread