To think its not solely my responsibility?

[sherbetlemonD]

I'm not going into too much detail because this will out me.

My Dad has just had surgery. Nothing life threatening or anything but he will need to take some weeks off work and a hand around the house.

I work 4 1/2 days a week at the moment and looking to get another job and increase it to 6.

I do a lot around the house already- 95% of the household chores, I cook dinner most evenings and I do the shopping. I obviously don't mind pitching in and helping out with my Dad when necessary- but my Mum thinks I should be prepared to put work on the back burner for a while and stay at home and look after my Dad. I've refused.

AIBU?

She married him, you didn't.

A child (even an adult one) working takes priority over a wife and her boozy lunches. She gets to give up her lunches and stay home with the man who she made the vows with. If she has such an issue housing her adult daughter then she should be supporting her work, not telling her to take less time. I think mummy just likes having a slave to do all the hard work for her.

I don't quite understand. When you talk about work, do you mean paid work ( in which case how come you only get enough to cover car costs) or voluntary work?
If the latter, then then apart from the fact that your Mum sounds like she's taking advantage of you, you could cut back on hours to help look after your Dad for what would only be a few weeks. If you are not being properly paid, then the friend for whom you work can't really complain, can she?

I don't feel like we are getting the whole picture here - how does housework take you till 10 at night? Why are you doing 95% of it, plus shopping cooking etc? Don't you pay rent? What is the work you are doing that leaves you so shattered after an afternoon of it?

I'm sorry to say that in most people's eyes, voluntary work is not the same as a paying job, and maybe part of the problem could be that you are expecting people( your parents ) to behave as if you were in paid employment. Voluntary work is just that - voluntary, you don't have to do it, and can choose whether or not to do it. If they are funding you while you are unpaid, then it would not be unreasonable for them to ask you to help out your Dad temporarily.

I'd also say that if your Mum is not working, then presumably she can look after her husband, it does seem strange that she doesn't want to.