AIBU to not want my mother to watch my kids again never mind about stepping foot in my house

[Cr0chetM0nkey]

Hi I'm new and just wanted an opinion on whether I'm in the wrong or to blame

The other day my mother was watching my two kid (2yr old and 1yr old) for a couple of hours when I came back she told me that the 2yr old had gotten a hold of an asthma inhaler (hubby had left it at his computer desk before going to work) and that the 1yr old has gotten a hold of an electric razor (please let me stress that there was NO blade in it it was only the electric HANDLE/BASE that the blade would sit in while in use and that this was in the bathroom) then she starts going on about how my house is dangerous and that she wouldn't have kids here and that the kids are in danger and its all all my fault because apparently I'm brow beaten by my husband (I'm not btw lol) and that there's something seriously wrong with our relationship and our house and basically said that my husband was abusive and didn't care about his kids and that I was just as bad. AIBU to think that she shouldn't be left alone with the kids again if they're managing to get to things they shouldn't while she's ment to be watching them or was it my fault? AIBU to not want her back in my house at all after they way she verbally attacked me and my husband or am overacting? TIA x

Well, it's hard to say really. Is your DH abusive? We don't know. Your mum may be well within her rights to say that.

Tbh meds and razors even if unbladed ought not to be accessible to children

Best to reflect on what your mum said without over reacting

Well really I would have a go at my dh for leaving medications around. It just shouldn't be done.

If your mother is wrong about everything else then your not unreasonable but if she is speaking the truth then you are - no one else knows!

So whilst she was in charge of two babies she let them get hold of medicine and a razor and that's your fault??? Okay then. I'd tell her to do one.

I dont know about your husband being abusive but by what you have said this outburst has been simmering does your mum have a point ? Dont fall out with your mum over this she may have over reacted but she is sounds worried about you. Btw the razor should be up high out of reach of the baby.

50/50 . Under no circumstances should those things have been left where a baby could get them no matter who was in a rush, forgot etc. I have 2 y/o dts n am constantly doing a visual sweep of the room for things like this.

But also, if I was looking after someone else's children I would do precisely that n make sure any hazards like these were moved to a higher shelf and/or that the babies were supervised at all times.

So ya(both)bu.

Your mum was visiting to help you out. Is she supposed to do a thorough search of your house to remove all dangerous items as well? You and your DH left the asthma inhaler and razor base where your children could get at them. You are the ones at fault here.

Whether your dm is right or wrong about your relationship etc, the fact that your dc, whilst in her care, got their hands on a razor and your dh's medication, is entirely your fault. Neither of these items should be in any place that a child can reach. If the razor and the inhaler were locked away, as they should be, that situation couldn't have arisen.

I will hopefully be a Grandma in September. Whenever my future ggc visit my home, none of my medications or toiletries will be within their reach.

Yes, your overacting. Inhalers and razors should never be left around where children are.

Depends on where the items were and how the DC got them. Eg if they were in the kitchen that is normally baby gated and your mum left the baby gate open then that's different to if they had been left within easy reach of the DC. Can't comment on the DP comments made by your mum as not enough info to go on.

They were not left where the kids were they were in different rooms bathroom/computer room so to my mind she's obviously left them to wander the house

I'm on the fence. I think you each have different styles. You prefer very close supervision, she prefers better child proofing. Normally I'd say she's BU to say anything to you at all. But I agree with her...what happens if one of your young children gets hold of the shaver the one day your DH forgets to remove the blade? Gets hold of a more dangerous medication? These things should be out of reach for a reason.

There's a lot of sanctimonious people around - Christ, they'd have a field day at my house. Bottom line, my kids are not left to wander and if a trusted family member was with them, they wouldn't be left to wander either. Study and bathroom unsupervised would have definitely been out of bounds.
Yes, these things can take seconds but two incidents in two hours along with best line of defence is to attack, would make me think she was not playing with them, interacting or watching out. Not unless the incidents occurred when she was on the loo, making a brew or snack...But surely you would do those things a) quickly and b) if they were suitably deep into an activity e.g. colouring, played, freebies
YANBU

Colouring, playdo, cbeebies....

Two types of parents in this world:

The ones who can't be bothered to do some basic childproofing and tidying, so they have to watch their children like a hawk

And the ones who can't be bothered watching their children like a hawk so they do some basic childproofing and tidying.

I'm the latter but theres no right or wrong. Clearly you are one, and your mum is the other.

She called you and your husband abusive and said you didn't care about your children? Then no you are not overreacting at all, there is no way I would tolerate that (or even someone being so awful about my DH )

Yabvu. Count yourself very lucky. It's is completely your responsibility to child proof your house. Not your unpaid babysitter. . Tbh your mother probably said those things as she had a horrid shock. I would be beside myself if I found a child in my care playing with such dangerous items that I would have assumed were stored well out of harms reach. I would be grateful that it was a good lesson learned - for all- without consequence and move on.

My DD found my Mums tablets ( DD was maybe 18 months old) on the side table and put one in her mouth. IIRC a diuretic.
As it was a nasty taste she did the bleurgh, spit no real harm done.
My Dad was at my Mum for leaving them out.
My Mum was at my DD "She shouldn't have touched them"

DD was a toddler. It was their house not mine.

As a 5yo, I ate 100 Haliborange vitamins, left on the mantlepice. I wasn;t taken to the Dr , she was more concerned about how many I gave my DBro who was 3yo.
(Answer - one. They were mine )

I just need to make sure everything is safe.

70isa ha ha. MY HALIBORANGE!

Maybe she was overwhelmed by the fear that something bad could happen to her daughter's beloved DCs and it has translated into this reaction, rather than her looking for the most likely outcome of a child holding the base of an electric razor and fiddling with an inhaler. (Have you ever tried to teach a 2 year old child how to activate and inhale from a puffer without use of a spacer? - pretty much impossible!)

She obviously loves the GCs, so perhaps do a quick 'safety sweep' before leaving with her in future? It's only because she loves them and you, but is a bit of an over-reaction.