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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to serve chicken kiev with garlic bread and salad?

112 replies

StarlingMurmuration · 08/05/2015 19:35

Backstory: I've got a six month old DS who sleeps really badly, so I'm permanently shattered. I've just put him to bed, and my partner is on a call for work. We usually cook together, or he cooks while I get the baby to bed.

We were planning enchiladas for dinner, which DP usually cooks. I really can't face doing it myself, so I was going to stick chicken kievs in the oven and serve them with potato wedges and salad. But the potatoes I had in the cupboard have gone bad. So would I be unreasonable to serve the chicken kievs with garlic bread and salad instead? Or should I suck it up and go and buy more potatoes? The shop is a ten minute drive away. Bear in mind that DS is likely to wake up at least once before 9pm and then possibly even 45 minutes after that for the rest if the night.

OP posts:
Coumarin · 08/05/2015 22:19

Hope your dinner was good and you manage some sleep tonight. Flowers

TheSkiingGardener · 09/05/2015 02:18

Hope you are getting some sleep. Just wanted to ask if you've ever had hot sliced chicken Kiev on cold buttered white bread. Amazing!

Flowers
YourKidsYourRulesHunXxx · 09/05/2015 02:38

If this thread was at all serious, then I really think you ought to give yourself a break.

YourKidsYourRulesHunXxx · 09/05/2015 02:42

On second thoughts, this thread is actually a piss take. 'Night nanny.' So bloody privileged it hurts

OttiliaVonBCup · 09/05/2015 07:29

It's called a joke, YourKids.
Remember those?

MmeLindor · 09/05/2015 07:39

Hope you got some sleep. I didn't do controlled crying at that age and I don't think it would be right for you atm.

How is your baby during the day? Could you do some batch cooking or maybe a slow cooker stew, so you can eat when he's asleep.

Do you have any family or friends who'd help out?

Finally, don't worry about what you are eating. Right now, food is fuel. You need it to keep going. It doesn't have to be gourmet meals, as long as you are getting fruit and veg (and iron!). Maybe a smoothie maker would help with that. Don't fuss about what you eat, just get something nutritious into you. And an odd day where you just have a bowl of cereal or a ready meal won't harm you!

CornChips · 09/05/2015 07:43

Hope you got some sleep Starling.

I second batch cooking.

My DS is 5 and last night we had just jacket pots with butter for dinner- literally nothing else- because I was exhausted. DS had an apple and hula hoops for pudding as well. (Before I get crucified, he has cooked lunches at school).

CornChips · 09/05/2015 07:44

Oh yeah!!!! Smoothie makers!!!!! Perfect.... quick, nutritious, and you don't have to think. Good idea Mme Lindor.

Original poster
StarlingMurmuration · 09/05/2015 07:56

Yourkids, sadly not a pisstake, I'm really that screwed up. But I don't know what's privileged about wanting a night nanny! We can't even come close to affording one, but surely most mothers of sleepless 6 mo would love to be able to hand their baby over to someone else for a night.

Mme, he's a clingy nightmare during the day. He refuses to nap unless it is on me, and if I leave him playing for long enough to get a glass of water, he starts to cry. I'm lucky if I get to make myself lunch many days.

Last night he woke three times before 10.30, then he screamed til midnight, then woke up at 2, and again at 4 when he refused to go back to sleep. He's now on his second 'nap' of the day. It's horrendous. That's not an untypical night. He has cows milk protein intolerance but that is meant to be under control with diet and medication. He hates eating, we have a lot of difficulty getting him to eat enough.

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlingMurmuration · 09/05/2015 07:57

I sometimes think the only answer is to let him cry but I can't bring myself to do it.

OP posts:
Artandco · 09/05/2015 08:01

Have you considered a sleep consultant? I know they cost also, but about £200 total to hopefully solve many of the issues from then on, compared to £120+ per night for a night nanny. Someone like Simply Sleeptime are good as they don't use cry it out methods

MythicalChicken · 09/05/2015 08:02

Chicken (unless organic free-range) is rank. Full of hormones. Disgusting stuff. And cruel farming methods. So yes, YABU for serving chicken, everything else fine.

Here's an alternative to chicken kievs that I serve sometimes. And they're great to have in the freezer for when you're tired and can't be arsed to cook.

WIBU to serve chicken kiev with garlic bread and salad?
WIBU to serve chicken kiev with garlic bread and salad?
Original poster
StarlingMurmuration · 09/05/2015 08:05

Art, thanks for the recommendation. I have heard of sleep consultants but to be honest I feel like it's so hopeless no-one old help. Do they really help? I am at the end of my tether, I looked up adoption agencies last night.

I think I should say, my DP was on a call til midnight, then got up with DS at 4 so I could sleep for a couple more hours. Then we swapped so he could rest and he got another bloody callout! He does pull his weight.

OP posts:
Bakeoffcake · 09/05/2015 08:07

Did you read the whole thread *Mythical"? Your post is very unhelpful.

CornChips · 09/05/2015 08:15

Mythical is right in a way in that Starling clearly needs to shove things in a freezer to be dragged out again. Starling does your DH do any cooking? can you ask him to take DS to the shops while you nap to buy stuff and then batch cook and freeze? You are on your knees clearly. Well you both sound exhausted... he's on call? God. Any family closish by?Could you mum or MIL come and stay for a few days and let you sleep, do some cooking? Not always that easy I know.

BeaufortBelle · 09/05/2015 08:18

OP both my children were like this - the clinging has just rung the bell. Have you had his ears checked? There just might be something going on there.

Original poster
StarlingMurmuration · 09/05/2015 08:20

My mum died a couple of years ago, sadly. MIL is great and in fact comes once a week to babysit while I do the big food shop, and I get a nap in the afternoon. She has made it clear she won't do nights. No other family nearby, my brother died a couple of years ago as well.

DP does do the cooking about half the time, but he's knackered too.

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlingMurmuration · 09/05/2015 08:24

Thing is, I don't mean to be whiny but I'm exhausted all the time. The thought of batch cooking makes me want to cry. We did do that up until a couple of months ago, but when DS hit 4 months, his previously good sleep went all to pot and we've been staggering from day to day ever since. Sorry, I don't mean to reject people's advice, I know it's good advice.

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlingMurmuration · 09/05/2015 08:27

Belle, do you mean for infection? He does tug on them a lot, so I have wondered but the HV said it was probably teething pain. He had his hearing checked when he was born and it was fine then, and he can certainly hear a pin drop when he's asleep!

OP posts:
BeaufortBelle · 09/05/2015 08:40

Yes, for infection. Please get it checked by the GP. Also, don't underestimate teething pain. I remember my tough little 10 year old rugby lad sobbing in the corner of the sofa when cut one of his big back second molars.

Have got some Calpol in? Give it today and see how it goes. It helps for teething not so much so for ear pain. Get the doc to check his ears to discount them if necessary but do please get this checked.

Sorry about your mum and brother - this must have been a very difficult time for you and I hope you have had some help with bereavement. Are you being treated for your PND?

If you're anywhere near me I'll happily bring you round dinner for tonight and tomorrow. I'm catering for 40 this weekend and there will be loads over. Am in Wimbledon - honestly pm me.

Woodenheart · 09/05/2015 08:50

Instead of you doing the big shop whilst MIL babysits, could you order online & get it delivered, then use that spare time for YOU!
Go swimming, go for a walk, anything to clear your head. Make the most of it. Smile

MmeLindor · 09/05/2015 09:11

What do you mean he doesn't eat well? What is he eating?

Getting MIL to babysit while you take time to nap/read/go for walk, and using online shopping is a great idea.

I never used one, but some swear by a sling, so that you can at least get something done. Does he sleep in the pram? I swore by walking pram over bumpy cobbled streets when mine wouldn't sleep during the day!

SunsetSongster · 09/05/2015 09:30

Hello Starling. I was intrigued by your post and see it was about sleep. My DS would wake every 45 minutes in the evening and every hour at night. A sleep consultant did really help us (Millpond). We did a thing called gradual retreat which involved a bit of crying but we never left him alone and you can go as slowly as you like. For me a lot of it was having someone who held my hand through the process and a bit of emotional support (telling us to keep going and that we were doing well).

On the other hand, DS did have reflux and I do wonder whether it was that the reflux eventually got better. The sleep consultant said that he had to learn to self settle before he would sleep through and we did see that once he could sleep without our input he slept for longer stretches. One of the big changes she suggested was feeding him before his bath and then not letting him feed to sleep.

DD is now 1yo and is still feeding to sleep and sleeps through (I feel very lucky after our first experience) so I just think it's a lot to do with the baby and not what you're doing.

Good luck - I know how awful it is but it can eventually get better.

Original poster
StarlingMurmuration · 09/05/2015 09:48

Mme, we've started weaning, but he's not particularly into it. But what I really mean is that he won't drink much milk. He wants to be fed every three to four hours, and rarely takes more than three or four ounces. If I didn't offer him a bottle every few hours, he'd happily go five or six hours without feeding. He just doesn't seem interested. He's on a special prescription formula for the CMPI, which has sorted put his reflux but he just doesn't seem to like it much. He screams the place down if put in a sling.

Wooden, my MIL comes so I can get stuff done that her on would have to do otherwise. I coud be wrong but she doesn't seem happy with me just buggering off for some me-time. We're moving soon and then we're going to get Internet shopping set up, but I expect she'll think I should do some cleaning if I'm not shopping. Of course, this could all be in my head - I feel very guilty that I'm not coping well and so I could be projecting.

Belle, I'll ask the GP to check his ears next week, thanks. He is struggling with teething - he has two teeth already, and seems to be in pain a lot of the time. I do give him calpol but I'm worried I'm giving it to him too often (no more than the dosage on the bottle but I surely shouldn't be giving him that much every day?).

Thanks everyone for your comments.

OP posts:
Margaritte · 09/05/2015 10:02

Starling Flowers for you. I have just emerged from PND myself. Its bloody awful, and took everything out of me. I also feared the batch cooking, even though I knew it was the answer. I had a lot of support on here, which really did help, especially in my darkest days.

Food was a big issue for me too, and now I look back, your dinner suggestion would have been perfect Smile Please try not to worry to much about it, any food in these situation is fine.

Please feel free to pm me & if I can help, I will. Like I said, its very fresh for me also & I am having a good few days now, which a couple of months ago seemed impossible to ever happen again. It does get better, honestly.