to get so upset about training someone who got the job instead of me?

[JammyGem]

I got a temporary promotion at work for a maternity cover year long contract, which ended fairly recently. I've got back to my old zero hour contract, but still do exactly the same thing, with exactly the same managerial responsibilities and a tiny bit more money than I would otherwise be getting on my casual contract.

Two permanent positions came up for my old (maternity cover) job, I applied, but didn't get it as I didn't go into enough detail about my experience in the interview, seeing as I've worked with all the interviewers for the last two years, so stupidly messed it up- I was told that because they can only mark me on what I said, not on what they know about me, I didn't get the job - the interview is all point based. Which is fair enough, but did really upset me as I felt I'd done the job for a year and despite their explanation, I wonder if it was really just because I was shit at the job for that year.

The new guy has started (the other successful candidate was another casual contract colleague, and I couldn't be happier for her) and I've been paired up with him to train him all this week. I know it's petty and ridiculous, but I just feel so upset about the situation. I feel really taken advantage of, it's like I'm good enough to train the new guy for the job, but not good enough for the job myself. He was deliberately put with me because they didn't want him with another manager as they feel he'll pick up bad habits (this colleague is notoriously lazy and strong willed) and I've been told I'll be a better trainer than him.

My colleagues have all been quite sympathetic, and a few have offered to complain on my behalf. I'd not said how I felt about it as I didn't want to cause trouble or for any of my colleagues to know how upset I am, but it really does feel like rubbing salt in my wounds that they've got me training someone who got the job over me, and as soon as he's trained up on certain tasks, my hours will really go down as they won't need me anymore.

I know I sound ridiculous and pathetic, but I don't know if IBU or not. And I can't say anything because there's a chance they won't give me any shifts at all.

YANBU. If you're good enough to train someone else you should have had the job. It wouldn't have killed the interviewers to point out that they needed you to tell them more as they could only go on what you said.

Can you get out of doing the training, or ask for training level wages for the hours you have to spend doing that.

Can you look for another job? I'd hate it if I were in your position as well.

I can't get out of the training as there's no one else experienced enough (the two other managers - one is the one they want to avoid training people, and when the other guy is not working or has a day off then there's only me left)

I already pushed it a bit by asking for more money for the shifts where I'm acting as a manager - they agreed but I don't get the same on those shifts as the actual managers do, and I don't really want to risk the hours I have by asking for more.

I should say I am looking for another job, no luck so far, but I love where I am at the moment and don't really want to leave.

YANBU. If you're good enough to train someone you're good enough to do the job.

It's happened to me before and a it's horrible feeling.

That's a horrible feeling. I once lost a job I'd been promised but dithered too long - decided to accept it the very day they advertised, so was then forced to run against other candidates, essentially for my own job (I'd been a longterm supply teacher, in this school for a year and the Head had repeatedly begged me to take the job but I hesitated). Needless to say, one of the other applicants got the job. It was excruciating being interviewed by the Head and a governor - Head resented me for costing her money by making her advertise the job and this governor was one who hated me because I had been strict with her son (who came to us expelled from another school for attacking a teacher, so I had taken no crap from this kid from day one).

The woman who got the job had less experience than me and the feedback was 'We know you're a great teacher and the kids and parents love you, but she interviewed better. And we decided to go on the interview". Truth was she was at the low end of the payscale and I was at the top. She was thousands of pounds a year cheaper to employ.

I had to go in for months after, knowing I was dead in the water but stuck there til July. The hardest part was, after interview, having to walk back into my classroom and carry on teaching as if nothing had happened.

Same day they interviewed for Head of Maths and a colleague who had been at the school her whole career and was very well respected went for it and also failed to get the job. That job was also given to a kid out of college. So I wasn't the only one.

I got my revenge though. A year later I went in to that school as a daily supply and whilst I was there, my replacement lost control of her class to the point a child ran out and down a busy city street. Child unharmed but colleagues told me the woman was useless. She was cheap, though.

I'd def be looking for a new job.

As regards the new guy, it's not his fault obviously, but I don't think I'd be trying too hard with his training in your position. Not nasty or unpleasant or sabotaging, but maybe a bit ... disinterested.

Not a commendable attitude of course, but I think your manager is asking a lot of you in the circumstances.

As far as I'm aware, the new guy doesn't know I also went for the job. He seems nice enough and I know none of this is his fault so I'm being really friendly and training him as best as I can - he'll be really good at it I think from what I've seen so far. I just can't help but resent him a little, even though I know he's not to blame at all.

Yep same here. I gave her the same training i got ....here`s the manual read it. Job done.

I've been the outsider who got the job instead of the person who had been doing it on a temporary basis.

Please either move jobs or get better at not letting your resentment show - I had a horrid few months until my team member and I got to a place where we had a good working relationship.

And in general you need to find a way to move on past this: it has happened, you can feel aggrieved but it won't change anything, learn from the experience and decide whether you want to stay there now or use the experience you gained on temporary promotion to apply for roles elsewhere

YANBU. That would really stick in my throat. Is it a public service job where they had to advertise? If not, they have behaved very badly and I wouldn't be putting myself out to do them any favours.

That happened to my Dsis.. She entered the workforce straight from school so has no degree. After years of experience and working very hard they needed a new manager. She wanted to apply for the job but you had to have a degree. She sat there as a young girl not long out of college came in as her new manager. Of course she hadn't a clue about anything there and my sister was expected to train her. She was so upset. She moved jobs pretty soon after.

Not only is it unfair to you, but, I suspect, bad managing and insensitive rather than illegal, but why have the other manger in place if they are no good?

I was the new guy in this situation, hired over the head of someone who I had to then rely on for knowledge. He was then made redundant. Not my choice. Someone higher up has decided that either you weren't good enough at the job or your face doesn't fit. Or there was another reason you don't know.
Go to a senior manager and ask for an honest chat. Say that you love working there, you're really disappointed, and ask whether you have a future in the company. Read the body language, and you will know whether to stay or go.

something similar happened to me, and like you I couldn't help feeling resentful and like it was a big kick in the teeth. I didnt really want to be there after that, it got to me more than I let on and left about six months later after finding something better. you sound like you are being very rational, restrained and fair to the new man so good luck to you, I hope whatever you decide to do I hope it works out.

This is a really tough situation, it's a shame you weren't better briefed about the interview, but it's true in many organisations that it's all about your performance at the interview, not what the interviewers already know about you. The interview notes have to "prove" that they appointed the best candidate on the day. Try and take it as a learning experience and make sure you're better prepared next time.

I was once the new guy in the situation you describe. My trainer was brilliant and so kind and patient with me when he had every right to be in a proper sulk. I've since been in a position to repay that favour several times over.....

This is really interesting, seeing how many people have been put in this position.

I, too, was asked to train someone who had come in as a manager (I was AM, but acting manager, at the time). I actually refused, on the grounds that we had experienced GMs and a training manager already within the company.

New manager was lovely, v competent, and genuinely gutted when he was told to fire me a month later.

So, yes, grit your teeth, and good luck with the job hunt.

Surely you should be getting the same rate as actual managers - isn't it illegal to discriminate against a person doing the job but paying one less money?

It sucks . I have just missed out on a promotion due to 'not scoring enough points' at the interview. I was the most experienced candidate and the person appointed is much younger and a lot less experienced. Feel gutted that they are happy to have me working my socks off and helping everyone else but that they feel I'm not good enough for the higher role.

I have come to the conclusion that I will never progress there now so have started applying for other jobs. Keep your chin up and show them you're not bothered too much. I know it's hard though.

Oh YANBU! I've been in this situation and it's horrendous. I went for a position that was several grades higher and didn't get it on the grounds I lacked experience in one particular. I fully accepted that. Someone else then trained me to do it after I decided to try to gain that skill. The successful candidate then started and I ended up training her in the area I had lacked experience in.

I lasted another three months there.

YANBU. This has happened to me and it's shit. I've had three children in five years and this has gone against me in terms of progression however they still see me as good enough to train those more senior to me.

I'm sorry this happened to you. The interviewers should have made it clear to you that you needed to explain everything you'd done even though they knew you because they would be basing the decision on interview only. But what's done is done and hopefully you'll be in a better position for future interviews.

I can completely understand how gutted you must feel having to train up the new manager when you're smarting from not getting the job. It's to your credit that you're treating the new guy well and recognise it's not his fault. I don't see how you'd gain by sabotaging him and I don't think you'd feel better about yourself.

If you have a good relationship usually with the managers there I'd tell them that you were disappointed you didn't get the job and ask what you could do to be in a better position next time. But keep looking for something new. You might just be better off moving on if the right opportunity comes along.

Has just happened to me today! Have lost out on a secondment (because I'm pregnant) to someone who I have carried for the past 8 months by supporting them, and on the phone when they told me I didn't get the job they said they'd like me to carry on doing part of the role and supporting the new post. I have literally cried all day. YANBU.

I can't get out of the training as there's no one else experienced enough (the two other managers - one is the one they want to avoid training people, and when the other guy is not working or has a day off then there's only me left)

So what? You can still turn around and say "If I'm not good enough to do the job, then I'm simply not good enough to train someone new" and leave it at that. It's not your problem, it's your manager's problem. Far from BU you are bending over backwards to help people who are at best very short sighted. I'm also a little suspicious that the job went to somebody male. If you like I can dig up refs to the ways in which men and women are judged at interview and on CVs. Both men and women tend to judge women more harshly. On a points based interview system my bet is that he blew his trumpet whereas you didn't.

It is utterly ridiculous that they think you should train someone who got the job in preference to you.

Similar thing happened to H just recently. The GM took on a dept mgr that has almost no experience and no qualifications over H and another candidate because he is £11k a year cheaper. Sucks to be her though, H has got another job somewhere else so she is now left with a 21 year old dpt mgr and a 21 year old dept supervisor and almost no one else.

The rats are deserting the sinking ship......