Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to be worried about 9 week old and ASD

27 replies

ocrasaranmuc · 08/05/2015 15:12

Worried sick really. Eldest dc (6) has a dx of asd nut its not entirely definitive. He was reviewed by 2 different psychologists from the same multi disciplinary team. One said he has asd based on her instincts and the other said he didn't based on a lot of observations. He has no stereotypical behaviours, no sensory issues, no real behavioural difficulties, good imaginative play, no rigidity but lots of traits consistent with asd which require a lot of support.
As we felt he didn't have asd we decided to have one more baby. Dc2 &3 neuro typical. Since pg dc 1s ASD traits have become a bit more apparent.
Anyway dd2 is now 9 weeks and does not have great eye contact, which apparently develops from 6-8 weeks. I know she's just outside that but it can be very hard to get her to engage with me or look at me. On the plus side, when she does make eye contact she has lovely warm smiles, she is much more vocal than any of her other siblings, she is alert and calm. Her big brother was a nightmare from day 1 ( in the nicest possible way ).
I have been crying about this for the last few days so please don't lambast me. I know we have a long wait ahead of us given the regressive nature of some asd's.
Its too early to involve hcp's as I know I will be told to watch and wait. Has anyone had a positive outcome regarding poor eye contact in an infant. Thanks for reading

OP posts:
Morelikeguidelines · 08/05/2015 15:16

I am no expert but I can't think that poor eye contact at just 9 weeks in meaningful. Maybe speak to GP or HV if you are worried though.

Flowers
madreloco · 08/05/2015 15:19

Yabu. It's a tiny baby, you need to stop scrutinising and enjoy her.

Elllimam · 08/05/2015 15:23

I don't think at 9 weeks eye contact is a good indicator of issues. My toddler didn't have great eye contact until about 18 months and is fine.

Lilicat1013 · 08/05/2015 15:38

I have two boys who are both autistic, one attends a specialist school and the other attends a specialist nursery. I knew young with each of them, but young like a year old not young like a few weeks old. I don't think you can tell anything with a tiny baby.

I think maybe autism could become a focus of your worries if you are generally feeling stressed and anxious, so it might be worth keeping track of your mood and considering whether you need to seek some support.

Tizwailor · 08/05/2015 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

steff13 · 08/05/2015 15:51

I wouldn't worry. She's very tiny yet. Also, it's not as though she's never making eye contact, you said she is and she smiles at you when she does. It's a lot of work for a baby that small to make eye contact; they have to be awake and alert, but not hungry or tired. And babies that small are hungry and tired most of the time! :)

Even if it is an issue, it's not automatically autism, anyway. It could be her vision that's the problem. Or myriad other things. I'd mention it at her next checkup, but not worry too much about it.

BarbarianMum · 08/05/2015 15:53

I have 2 boys. One is completely nt, the other probably isn't actually on the spectrum but is certainly sitting on the edge with his feet in the water (v similar to his uncle who was diagnosed in his 40s).

Anyway, I worried a lot about the typically nt one as a young baby. He was late to smile and actively avoided eye contact (I spent quite a lot of time pushing myself into his field of view whilst he turned it away to study the tiles on the wall and as for breastfeeding whilst gazing into each others eyes, forget it).

The child whose turned out very traity, on the other hand, was early to smile and has always given excellent eye contact.

As you know only time is going to tell with this one. But eye contact isn't a great indicator and whatever the outcome, worrying yourself sick about something you won't know for maybe years is really not healthy.

kewtogetin · 08/05/2015 15:54

I think you need to stop labelling this tiny baby. It sounds like it might be anxiety driving these thoughts, you should speak to your gp. If she does have asd it will unfold over time. Stop spoiling these early weeks with obsessive thoughts or you will look back on what should be a happy time with regret.

imip · 08/05/2015 15:59

Dc4 was v late with eye contact. At about 8 weeks I was panicking (eye issues with dh, if he lives an average life span des say he will end up being legally blind) and dr referred us straight to moor fields. All was ok, it was delayed eye maturation, or something along those lines.

mummytime · 08/05/2015 16:01

Please go and see your GP and tell them about your worries. Admittedly I am more concerned about your anxiety and possible PND, than your baby's possible ASD.

Original poster
ocrasaranmuc · 08/05/2015 16:05

Thank you all for taking the time to respond, I know the thread shouts anxiety or pnd , definitely not pnd and I'm usually not anxious but comments taken on board. I think I need a good kick up the arse. Thanks again xx

OP posts:
Dosydoly · 08/05/2015 16:15

I had this same worry with my youngest when he was that small, my nephews both have asd diagnosis and I was worried sick about his eye contact. He's now 3.5 and he has no asd related traits at all.

LaurieMarlow · 08/05/2015 17:07

Please don't worry about this. 9 weeks is far, far, far too early to tell. Lots of babies have unreliable eye contact at this stage.

I remember seeing somewhere that the the earliest sign they look for is lack of warm, joyful contact by 6 months (which would include smiles and so forth).

Just enjoy your baby. And have a chat with your GP about your anxiety.

HoppityVoosh · 08/05/2015 17:17

9 weeks is definitely too early to pin point autistic traits although I did always know from when DS was very small - I had suspicions when he was around 6 months. He was diagnosed with ASD at 3. I'm pregnant with my 2nd and worry about it being passed on. I know I'll be on the look out when this baby is very small. What will be will be and I think you need to relax OP, I think I'll need to tell myself to relax too. Flowers

Morelikeguidelines · 08/05/2015 17:19

Love the expression "sitting on the edge with his feet in the water".

That completely describes me re asd.

Mrsbobdylan · 08/05/2015 17:34

Op, I've been where you are and my ds3 had delayed visual maturation, which totally corrects itself. Dh and I spent weeks in front of our tiny baby trying to get him to look at us Blushand were v scared he had ASD. In the end during a general paed check at 10 weeks, she noticed ds3 didn't 'fix and follow' and referred him to paed opthamology. He's a year old now and all's fine, hitting all his developmental milestones.

It's quite natural to worry more once you already have a child with additional needs.

Congrats on your baby-I miss those tiny, snuggly days already!

peacoat · 08/05/2015 17:38

I don't think you will notice anything until after 6 months.

Purplepoodle · 08/05/2015 17:42

As my mum said to me when I had my other children during dc1 diagnosis. If they are, they are, u will deal with what comes try and stop worrying , enjoy your baby

GloGirl · 08/05/2015 17:52

My first son was late to smile. Is 3 now and NT.

My other son has eye issues and struggled to make eye contact but when he did he smiled. His eye sight was not very good, you can test it even at a very early age the optometrists are very clever.

imip · 08/05/2015 20:33

Flowers op. only natural to be worried about things like this. My dd2 suffers badly from anxiety, self harms at 6 yo and under cahms care. Dc4 is now 3 and I read into everything. Worried about how I handle every temper tantrum that she has etc etc...

blankgaze · 08/05/2015 22:25

Thinking that poor eye contact equals autism is an outdated myth.

TheIronGnome · 09/05/2015 00:39

It's incredibly common for ASD to be diagnosed at around 3 years old. If it was as simple as 'poor' eye contact at 9 weeks then early intervention would never be an issue.

In the nicest possible way, try to relax and enjoy your baby. Already as a girl, she's far less likely to be on the spectrum and you're well placed to spot any issues if they arise in the future due to your knowledge and experience.

ktef · 09/05/2015 07:31

My ds1 never looked me in the eye (right from birth - I remember noticing in the hospital and it never got much better). Definitely never looked at me when breast feeding and if I moved into his eye line he would look away, preferring to look at the corner of the room. He was also not that keen on snuggling up when he was a baby and would not rest his head on me or anything like that. I was worried! Particularly when I compared him to my friends affectionate face obsessed babies.
He is now 7 and is the most affectionate of my three children and is completely fine! It is just his personality I believe. He doesn't give himself to people immediately, but once he does he is very affectionate, gives loads if hugs, and is good at eye contact (although still can avoid eye contact when anxious).

Lucyloves101 · 09/05/2015 12:31

I just wanted to say I know exactly how you feel, I scrutinised my baby for months because we were originally and mistakenly led to believe he had brain damage shortly after birth (immature nervous system mistaken for seizures - this was corrected by GOSH at 9 days), every tiny hiccup meant something catastrophic at the time. Don't google, do something else when you start to worry. I was very relieved when I was told the problem was with me and not the baby, so will kindly say the same to you.

Goldmandra · 09/05/2015 12:45

My DD1 made eye contact on day one, smiled and cooed early. She was diagnosed with AS at the age of 12. She is also intelligent, kind, loving and hard working and is off to uni this autumn to study biomedical sciences.

It's all a bit random and there's no point in tormenting yourself about something that you can't predict, may not happen and, if it does, may not be such a bad thing anyway.

Enjoy spending time with your last tiny baby and don't spoil it fretting because you will kick yourself later, especially if she turns out to be NT.