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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Re neighbour objecting to trampolining children watching her eat (allegedly)

69 replies

OhNoNotMyBaby · 08/05/2015 13:30

I have quite a big front garden - just as big as the back in fact. It's bordered on 3 sides by my living room window and high hedges. The 4th side is what was the neighbour's back garden, but is actually their driveway, which is concreted over and houses their 2 cars and a shed. They built an extension on the back of their house which they use as a second dining room.

I have put my trampoline in the front garden because of the size and the privacy and also because it's effectively 'wasted space', ie we don't sit in it, plant it etc. The children do not use the trampoline very often - maybe for 10 minutes every weekend or so.

Neighbour is vehemently objecting to the DCs using the trampoline because "they can see what we're eating." Despite the fact that the DCs aren't in the least bit interested in the neighbours at all, let alone what they might be eating.

So I put up 3 trellises on the 4ft fence, planted bamboos and other shrubs as an additional shield. Not good enough. Neighbour now positions a chair at the window when the DCs are using the trampoline and sits and stares at them fixedly. The DCs obviously find this intimidating. Neighbour also comes out of house with husband in tow and again, just stares at the children.

We had a Chinese exchange student stay for a week. She had never SEEN a trampoline before let alone been on one. She thought it was fantastic - until the neighbours came out and effectively stopped their fun.

I have reported her to the neighbourhood police because of the continued intimidation and harrassment of young children. AIBU?

PS: I don't want it in the back garden because of the rotary dryer, the dog, and the fact that potentially, there are 3 neighbours who overlook the back garden and may complain as well.

OP posts:
punter · 08/05/2015 16:11

I must admit I do find it hypocritical when parents put the trampoline as far away from their windows etc as they can, and expect neighbours to be chuffed that they get the benefit of the bouncing heads and screams. Also since trampolining can mean twisting whilst jumping I don't think OP's children can be expected to keep their backs to the NDN. Houses and gardens are so crammed together these days that it is difficult to preserve privacy. Also the NDN sound as though they have nothing much else to do.

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 08/05/2015 16:21

Could you sit out there with the kids (reading a book and drinking wine?) so they don't feel intimidated? Maybe have more trampoline parties? Yanbu!!

WannabeLaraCroft · 08/05/2015 16:27

That really is odd.

My mum and dad's old witchy neighbour used to moan when my brothers rode past her house on their bikes Confused.

I do wonder if some people sit and think...."hmm, life is just peachy at the moment, I don't like it. Time to cause some trouble. What's the most trivial thing I can complain about? I know, my neighbours seeing my dinner!"

Bloody weirdos IMO.

Fauxlivia · 08/05/2015 16:48

Ignore her. If there's no law against it then you can do as you please in your own garden. If you pander to this, she will find something else to bitch about. I would tell her to buy some curtains if she's that bothered. Her being a weirdo is her problem not yours!

TheWitTank · 08/05/2015 16:59

Has your trampoline got the high net surround on it? Can you cover the fence facing side with a sheet/tarp to obscure the view and have the other side open to the garden? I don't actually think you are doing anything wrong at all, but I'm all for a peaceful life.

amybear2 · 08/05/2015 17:12

How close is your trampoline to their extension? How high is your trellis?

OhNoNotMyBaby · 08/05/2015 17:16

MaddHugger
Ha Ha, yes the exchange student knew what a trampoline was (highly intelligent and well-travelled child of academics) but she'd never actually seen one in real life. She lived(s) in a flat in a town.

So she was very excited to actually have a go on one.

FWIW she'd never seen a real-life sheep before either (yes, even at age 16), so when we got stuck in a sheep jam in a park and I threw the younger DCs out of the car to shoo them away, she had a mini fit - she didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

No, there's nothing more to this story! I started it 'cos of other thread saying how boring all the other ones are today re politics. Someone requested a neighbour / parking / bridezilla thread so I thought I'd oblige. All true.

Re privacy - it's not my privacy I'm talking about. As a mother and single parent of 3 DCs I have none. My point is that where it is now, it's only in the view of 1 neighbour. If i were to move it (which I'm not) it would be in view of 3 neighbours.

OP posts:
MistressDeeCee · 08/05/2015 17:16

YANBU. She sounds weird. Doesn't she have a fulfilling life/things to do? I am convinced some people hate their lives and transfer that to hating on children...especially children playing and having fun, it seems to get them frothing.

Your neighbour didnt buy a detached house in a secluded area so, she'll just have to put up and shut up. Who does she think she is? If you moved the trampoline she'd find a way to keep complaining anyway

Id definetely be on the trampoline myself at times, tooGrin

PrivatePike · 08/05/2015 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Madamecastafiore · 08/05/2015 17:23

If be hiring it out to all and sundry. It would be used 12 hours a day but then a goady Tory bastard!

LIZS · 08/05/2015 17:24

Can you not just avoid mealtimes?

PrivatePike · 08/05/2015 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

0ldmum · 08/05/2015 17:29

If your children aren't looking at them eating or whatever how can they see them staring out?

TheMaddHugger · 08/05/2015 17:37

aha lol, Fair enough. I dont think i seen a trampolene until I moved out of home. we didn't have one, neither did any of my friends.

sheep. yep, we had plenty of up close and personal (Farm)

bamboostalks · 08/05/2015 17:45

Lunatics. Just ignore. I find nothing odd in bobbing faces over a fence. They're just harmless kids having fun. Sheesh folk are miserable.

Oldraver · 08/05/2015 17:45

Get them a Trampoline tent then both parties are shielded

Oldraver · 08/05/2015 17:48

Ah..just seen that they are mid teens they may not like a circus tent Grin

Idefix · 08/05/2015 18:16

Just curious op, as your ndn response seems particularly extreme.

I would say it really hard not to look at people and into properties, once had a house directly on the street (no front garden). Had always been very anti nets prior to this house, but within weeks put them up as couldn't bear constantly looking up from the kitchen sink to be face to face with a stranger being nosey.

I think it is human nature to look through windows look out a face when you see one. Your children may not even be aware that they really are staring, has become a habit. As others have said your children wouldn't know if the ndn are staring unless they look too.

You are of course under no obligation to move the trampoline just as your ndn are under no obligation to stare out of the windows of their own home.

Really has worked as a change of topic from the election op Grin

I am not the ndn!

Fatmomma99 · 08/05/2015 18:59

Lots of these messages made me laugh out loud!

Hope they cheered you up OP.

YNBU imo

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