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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said this to my sister?

39 replies

MrsNextDoor · 08/05/2015 13:02

She's far more outspoken on social media than I am and she's been merrily denouncing the tories and UKIP for days now...good on her...so have I.

However...on one FB thread she started, one of her "friends" said "I'm voting UKIP...the only sensible choice."

And I saw it and later in the day I said "Defriend him...why are you friends with that creature!?" and she took IMMEDIATE umbrage and said "Who are you to tell me who to be friends with on FB??"

I mean she was outraged. I was Hmm because if she's so outspoken against the nazi bastards then why is she friends with them?

OP posts:
MangoBiscuit · 08/05/2015 13:04

So she should only be friends with people who share the exact same views as her?

TheMoa · 08/05/2015 13:05

Is your perspective so depressingly one dimensional in all aspects of your life OP?

lemonyone · 08/05/2015 13:05

Hmm. Yeah. I think you were being uppity. There is no way I would tell my sister who to be friends with. I'd have enough trust in her to know that she can fight her own corner, or, that she has her reasons for remaining friends.

Icimoi · 08/05/2015 13:05

But, Mango, why would anyone be friends with someone they viewed as a Nazi bastard?

Original poster
MrsNextDoor · 08/05/2015 13:07

Mango it's UKIP. Not as though the guy was talking about the Greens or even the tories. UKIP are known for their knuckle dragging racist following.

Why be friends with someone like that!? Also I think it reflects badly on people if they associate with that type. And yes...by "that type" I mean knuckle dragging racists.

OP posts:
MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 08/05/2015 13:07

I'm no UKIP fan but Nazis?!

You sound as dim and reductive as a UKipper.

lemonyone · 08/05/2015 13:08

Icimoi - I have many friends who I am ideologically incompatible with.
I have several muslim friends who are rabidly anti-gay and have very Hmm views on women.
I am friends with people in my province who belong to a political party which is repressive to other religious faiths.
It's good to remain friends with people like this (if there are other things in common) as you may have slight influence in the long run and show them there are different ways of thinking.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 08/05/2015 13:09

Have you confused UKIP with the BNP or EDL? Confused

Charlotte3333 · 08/05/2015 13:09

It's possible to be friends with someone who votes UKIP and simply disagree with their political leanings. Defriending someone because they vote differently to you sounds very dramatic, especially if they're a good friend.

Political beliefs aren't the whole person. There's still plenty of other reasons to like an individual even if you disagree wholeheartedly with their politics. DH voted differently to me, I still tolerate love him.

Summerisle1 · 08/05/2015 13:09

YABU. I detest the Kippers with every fibre in my being but it is your sister's business who she chooses to remain FB friends with. Not yours.

Original poster
MrsNextDoor · 08/05/2015 13:09

Moving she called them that on her FB page...I meant to put that in "" but didn't.

I might be unusual then...I see that from this thread I'm possibly BU...I just could NOT be friends...even on social media...with someone like that. I think it's weird!

OP posts:
AuntyMag10 · 08/05/2015 13:10

Ffs people need to get over themselves. Who are you to dictate to her who she has as friends. Confused

YDdraigGoch · 08/05/2015 13:11

UKIP are a perfectly respectable party.

If I defriended everyone who didn't vote the same way I do, I'd be divorced and estranged from both DDs!!

shewept · 08/05/2015 13:11

Sorry op you sound unhinged. Ukip are a pretty poor choice but Nazi is ridiculous. You have no right to tell your sister who to have on her fb page.

partialderivative · 08/05/2015 13:11

Your sister's response was spot on.

I would be seriously pissed off with my sister if she told me who I should or should not be friends with (fortunately she is lovely and would not even consider such an obtrusion)

CrapBag · 08/05/2015 13:13

It's got fuck all to do with you so I'm with your sister.

Depressingly I have a couple of cousins who share Britain First bollocks but I don't immediately unfriend them because life isn't that simple. You can't only be friends with people who share your views. I have never actually heard them say anything racist so no idea if they actually are, unfortunately they are severly lacking in intelligence so I put it down to that.

madreloco · 08/05/2015 13:13

I would defriend, you would defriend, but you have no right to tell her whether she should or not.

We all have the right to choose our own friends, based on whatever criteria we feel like. We don't get to tell others what criteria to use.

CrapBag · 08/05/2015 13:15

You should think yourself lucky your sister is reasoned and intelligent. Mine thought Cameron was the leader of the labour party!

TapDancingMollusc · 08/05/2015 13:20

Its simply a case of it is absolutely none of your business. Hmm

ShadowFire · 08/05/2015 13:22

YABU.

It's your sister's facebook, and any decisions about whether people get unfriended are hers. It's none of your business.

CrystalHaze · 08/05/2015 13:22

Is this a reverse TAAT? Hmm

Noodledoodledoo · 08/05/2015 13:22

I also think you are BU - I have unfollowed someone who kept posting UKIP things but not unfriended them.

Everyone has a right to choose who to vote for.

I have friends who I have the same beliefs as me who drive me insane with the way they go on about thier politics - almost to the point of me choosing to vote against them to prove a point!

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 08/05/2015 13:25

It's only Labour voters who seem unable to conjure the idea that people who vote for other parties can be decent people.

One of my friends has put on her FB that anyone who voted Conservative should de-friend her as she can't look at them.

I found out that 2 of my school gate mum friends voted UKIP - yes it changes my perception of them, but our friendship wasn't based on politics.

Original poster
MrsNextDoor · 08/05/2015 13:25

Alright...alright...I am BU!!

I will say sorry immediately.

Bah.

OP posts:
AdeleDazeem · 08/05/2015 13:42

YABU
YABVVU
Your sister has every right to be friends with whomever she chooses. Thus extends to Facebook friends and 'real life' friends. You can be friends with someone without agreeing with everything they say/do/think. In fact you'd be searching for a long time for a friend whose every opinion matched perfectly with your own.