That a father looks after his child and

[mrsnlw2012]

.... doesn't babysit?

Had an innocuous comment made to DH by MIL was he "babysitting DS"

It really got under my skin.

I correct people who say that.

Of course YANBU.

It gets on my tits too. If you're the parent you don't fecking babysit, you parent.

Yanbu, how can a parent babysit it doesn't even makes sense. It sounds like he is doing you a favour.

Yanbu.

But some father's may just needed a gentle prompt to realise they have used wrong term. He might not have meant anything.

I have made this point to dh by saying I am babysitting for him many times!

YANBU it would really piss me off.
Although they might just be saying it thoughtlessly and need a gentle pulling up?

This annoys me no end, I've heard it so many times aarrrgghhh

How can anyone babysit their own children?

It harks back to days when women were expected to cover all the childcare and the man could fuck off out at will.

Haha, I occasionally hear men say it to their DW's/DP's and always point out that it's just parenting, that babysitting is done for other people's children.

I hasten to add it was my MIL who is mid 60s - SAHM with a working DH (FIL) all her life (not that there's anything wrong with SAHM). Perhaps a generational thing but really irked me.

I did reply with fathers dont baby J. She said what do they do then, lock the kid in the cupboard and turn the tv up. I replied no they look after their children. She said Same thing.

I didnt take it any further for DH's sake.

Fathers not father's. Auto correct still trying to prevent me from writing fathers!

YANBU. Drives me scatty. I found myself correcting a mum on a night out recently when she asked me if my DH was at home babysitting. No no no!

I also got hot under the collar the one time my DF proudly announced (repeatedly) that he had cooked my DM's tea, "I took care of the catering!" Grrr.

YABU. Just because you don't like the usage, does not make it invalid.

"coming out tonight?"
"sorry, babysitting"

completely conveys the fact that you cannot go out because you are looking after the baby and cannot go out because everyone else who could otherwise do it is not available.

You could say
"sorry, I'm looking after baby tonight"

But that doesn't include the information that there's no-one else available to do it, and in fact can imply the reverse, that when the DP is in and you could go out then you would not be looking after the baby.

You could say
"DP is going out"

And leave it to the questioner to infer that that means you'll be unable to come out, but it hasn't really answered the question.

You could say
"DP is going out, so I've got to look after the baby tonight"

But of course, that is exactly what the word babysitting means, so it's a lot of redundant words.

I find people seem to have different interpretations of "babysit".
If it's DH staying home in the evening, while I'm out [context: meeting we'd both be at if practicable] then it's babysitting for some.
Yet they know (if they think) that he looks after them all day, and that's not babysitting.
I don't know whether when he goes to the same meetings he gets asked whether I'm babysitting, I doubt it.

I don't think babysitting refers to your own child[ren], and tend to say so.

To me it's an expression that means a parent can't go out that night because the other one is unavailable (i.e. already going out) where I live.

Years ago it used to bother me but when I realised what context it was in it stopped bothering me. I have used it myself when the kids were little to explain why I couldn't meet up with friends on a particular night.

I can't get worked up about it tbh as long is was meant in that sort of way in general.

Cambridge Dictionaries online states:

English definition of “babysit”

babysit
UK US /?be?.bi.s?t/ (present participle babysitting, past tense and past participle babysat) (US also sit)

B1 to take care of someone's baby or child while that person is out, usually by going to the person's home:

I babysit for Jane on Tuesday evenings while she goes to her yoga class

› US (UK childmind) to take care of other people's children in your own home as a job:

Who babysits them when you're at work?
babysitting

dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/babysit?q=babysitting Link

Therefore by definition, you cant babysit your own child. And to state someone does is incorrect and mildy offensive to the other parent who "looks after" their child

YANBU. It would be fine if "Jane can't come because she's babysitting the children" was common but it's not. It's only "Paul can't come out because he's babysitting the children" which is oft used.

PP's are completely right. Parents cannot and do not babysit their own children, even if they're separated or divorced.

Words in English don't have definitions, they have usages, and the usage of babysitting your own child is very common, I certainly know many families with extremely equal parenting who use it. Just because you don't and do not like the usage, does not make the usage wrong, the fact you're complaining about it acknowledges the usage.

It's very difficult to find how frequent in the language corpuses as "mum babysits", "dad babysits" etc. usages could equally apply to grandparents, so difficult to know how frequent.

It's. Something that drives me mental aswell dh would never say it but mil does. Good job I am Nc with her ain't it.

It's the same as someone saying "I did the wasshing up for you"

Grips my shit!

italic fail

DH regularly corrects his friends who say they are babysitting their children. They usually look a bit blank at first.

YANBU. I just reply with "If you mean is he (DP) looking after his own child is his own home, then yes."

Although it still beggars belief why anyone would think it was a question worth asking in the first place. If anyone's ever asked it of DP when I'm the one at home, I'll eat an entire shit with a plastic camping spork.

If DH is going out or working, making me not free to do something I sometimes say I am babysitting.
I know it is not the right use of the phrase! It means looking after other peoples children but as said before it just quickly explains I am not free due to childcare.
I'll try and think of something else to say!

But I can see it would irritate if you thought someone felt it was all one parents responsibility to look after children and if the other had them it would be "doing them a favour".

soon how about "DH is out so I can't"

soontobemumofthree but there isn't an alternative word, the only phrase you could really use is the "I'm looking after the children", but as I said that carries the same broken implication - that the person saying it is not looking after the children if the other parent is there. So doesn't help with the irritation of people who thing only one of the parents has the responsibility to look after the children.

You don't need to worry about those peoples use of babysit though, they're just arseholes.

BitOut yes I can say that, just sounds a tad like I'm blaming him, but it's prob better than sounding like I don't think looking after my children is my responsibility!