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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIU to name change frequently - am I the only one?

100 replies

MiddleOfChaos · 07/05/2015 20:07

I name change probably every 3 or 4 posts. I enjoy mumsnet but often use it as a sounding board for difficult decisions I've got to make or whether I am feeling ok about something. A few years ago, prior to name changing frequently, a post was recognised and the person suddenly had access to difficult things I'd been dealing with over a prolonged period of time - mainly regarding a series of miscarriages I'd been through but hadn't told people in rl, I'd come here to talk. My knowledge of this emerged through lots of local gossip after my username was shared about. So now I namechange all the time. I really value mumsnet especially with dealing with ongoing difficulties with my family, so didn't want to stop using it but wanted to protect my privacy. Do wonder if I am the only one though or do others nc frequently?

OP posts:

newbieman1978 · 07/05/2015 20:26

By name changing do you mean starting up a new account?

Feminine · 07/05/2015 20:28

No newbie it is easy, you just change your name in your log in bit.
You can do it as many times as you like, no need for a fresh account.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 07/05/2015 20:28

I get horribly attached to my names and the only reason I discarded my last one was because I was sure (from what a commenter on one of my posts said) that I'd been discovered by a relative. I'm fairly sure a few friends will know who I am under this name from things I've said and I should really change again and get more selective over what I post. But I'm so attached to my name that I'm lingering and gradually losing the anonymity that I come to MN for.

Exactly the opposite issue to you OP!

Original poster

MiddleOfChaos · 07/05/2015 20:28

No not a new account, just changing my nickname used

OP posts:

monkeyfacegrace · 07/05/2015 20:32

I've been the same since 2006? (I think).

I'm not bothered. If anyone can be bothered to scour through my gazillion posts to find the dirt on me then they can feel free.

DinkyDye · 07/05/2015 20:33

I change every six months and have been on MN for about 5 years. I do get attached to my nn but l keep a general theme that I'm sure only l get so l don't mind so much!

WhoisLucasHood · 07/05/2015 20:35

I don't name change often but don't post much either. I've just nc'd after seeing this thread which reminded me I needed a new one.

FatAli · 07/05/2015 20:40

I change every few months.

It's not about having something to hide or paranoia, it's just that after a period of using one name, I start to feel less anonymous.

littlejohnnydory · 07/05/2015 20:42

Used to. Can't be bothered now. I know a couple of people in my family have 'found' my posts here and I recognise their various usernames but let them read away if my life's interesting to them.

MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours · 07/05/2015 20:49

I do, but mainly they are MyCatIsA.... Something or other so fairly recognisable. I generally read for advise and rarely post anything very personal so am not too bothered about people knowing me.

But if you want to change regularly then fine.

chaletdays · 07/05/2015 20:56

I chop and change between a few names. I can't be arsed with the kind of posters who trawl through your posting history to throw stuff back in your face. I had a nasty experience before Christmas where an unpleasant poster started quoting threads I'd started in previous weeks and doing that 'ooh you must have a lot of time on your hands' kind of thing. Posters like that are a bit creepy.

EatShitDerek · 07/05/2015 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nanny0gg · 07/05/2015 21:00

It is a shame in some ways as it is quite nice to get to know certain posters but if you post about yourself and want to remain anonymous it has to be done

^^This.

I don't. Don't think anyone I know is on here...

Obsessivelynamechanging · 07/05/2015 21:00

I kept the same name for a long time. And I was quite a prolific poster from time to time. I made quite a few 'friends' on here and we exchanged PMs and friended each other on FB. Which was nice.

But I also was unlucky enough to attract the attention of some not so nice posters. I did my best to ignore them, but was regularly being hounded by the same small group. They played it clever. Were never overtly bitchy or aggressive. Just a continual drip, drip, drip of poison and mockery and spitefulness.

MNHQ ended up getting involved and were brilliant. But there's only so much they can do. A few of these posters thought it would be 'amusing' to step outside of Mumsnet and dip their toes into my real life.

I also got a nasty glimpse of the off shoot forums which exist behind Mumsnet. They are not very nice places to be. Some of the posters on them are...well, I don't think they're very well shall we say?

So I made the very sensible decision to walk away from it all.

I only post on a handful of forums now. And I use a different name on each of those forums. It's much better. Much wiser. I also feel far more free and relaxed.

Mumsnet is good fun again

Wafflenose · 07/05/2015 21:02

I have never changed, and am probably very identifiable. But does this matter if I have never mentioned anything private or got into an argument over anything?

Wafflenose · 07/05/2015 21:03

Gosh I've never really seen that side, Obsessively. Sounds horrible!

Sallystyle · 07/05/2015 21:03

No, I can't be bothered.

I like that people can get to know me (if they want to which I doubt they do) and I like it when I can get to know other posters.

I have nothing to hide. I post enough information so I am sure anyone IRL would spot me in seconds but that doesn't bother me.

Coffeecoffeebuzzbuzzbuzz · 07/05/2015 21:06

I change every six months or so, just because I get bored! I rarely post anything very personal though.

Hassled · 07/05/2015 21:08

I've had this name since 2006. I do namechange for outable stuff/very specific advice etc., but can't imagine not being Hassled here now.

NakedBaby · 07/05/2015 21:20

I change often.

It's a public forum - and I discuss issues which pertain to other people (DH, DC, ILs etc etc).

It's just not respectful to leave a massive & easily discoverable digital footprint.

I've also asked for posts to be pulled when I've regretted oversharing.

I'll sometimes search on my old names - and tbh it gives me the creeps to hear the voice of 'old me'. I like how the family history is now 'packaged'; it's just a bit too much to revisit (for example) the rawness of how much I struggled with DS1 - now that he's a strapping, opinionated and generally splendid pre-teen. At least - I'll selectively revisit it if I see someone struggling - but I'd really hate to lose ownership of my own narrative.

Of course MNHQ could 'out' me in an instant . And so could DH - since I use the same password on MN as on some shared accounts. And DC could bust me since I'm none too fussy about logging out.

Original poster

MiddleOfChaos · 07/05/2015 21:22

NakedBaby we could be one and the same!! I totally understand what you are saying!

OP posts:

VelvetRose · 07/05/2015 21:27

Yes, every few months. Same as FatAli and NakedBaby really.

KnitKnitPurl · 07/05/2015 21:35

I agree with NakedBaby - as well as me being recognised, I want to avoid the people I mention being recognised. I name change every now and then, and also sometimes change details (where they're irrelevant to the discussion) so it's not so obvious it's me if anyone was snooping. Eg I might invent an extra sibling for someone or refer to my niece when mean my nephew etc - but only if it's not relevant to what I'm talking about.

BeaufortBelle · 07/05/2015 21:38

I think the namechanging could only be banned if there were more moderation like on the other site. I agree there are some nasty posters and I had a phase, in an old name, of being stalked and bullied on here and it wasn't nice. I don't get the people who hang on to things that have been said on historical threads and then rake it up to have a go.

Obsessivelynamechanging · 07/05/2015 21:41

I was just very unlucky wafflenose. I got on the wrong side of just a very small group of posters. But they were pretty poisonous and rather determined.

I stuck it out for a while, but then decided that discretion was the better part of valour

I wasn't the first person they'd targeted, and I doubt I'll be the last.

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