Up at MILs having some dinner which is something I usually just endure for DD's sake. SIL,MIL, DD and myself alone eating our dinners. SIL gets onto the subject of her friend who doesn't speak to her mum and saying that she thought it was sad that said friend's DD didn't know who her GM was.
This is pretty relevant to me and I knew that I would end up being dragged into the equation no matter how quiet I kept.
My mum and dad split 8 years ago when I was 14. My dad never got over it and I endured the next 4 or so years of him threatening to kill my mum, ringing up drunk and telling me he was going to kill himself, I came back from the shops once and he had slit his wrist, I went above and beyond the duties of any child aged 14-17! He eventually got a new GF who seemed nice at first but then, when she got pregnant with my half brother, decided she didn't like me and didn't want me staying at my DAD's house anymore in her own words "I'm not playing mother to you and if you think you're going to see your brother you can think again, it's not going to happen." Instead of standing up to her and telling her where to go he just buried his head in the sand. I on the other hand fought to see my dad, they turned my whole family against me and it is only now that they can see what a cow bag and piece of work she is. They have all apologised and we are building bridges.
He didn't turn up to my DD's 1st birthday party even though we saw his car go past the house because there was someone there who his GF didn't like. Can I also point out that my lovely mum decided not to come to the party to give my dad the opportunity to turn up because she knew that he wouldn't if he knew she was there.
I've had him ringing me threatening to throw petrol bombs through my windows when he knows that my DD is in the house,threatening to come round, telling me that he has an axe and he feels as bough he wants to kill someone. He's still with his toxic GF and they drink themselves into a stupor. My poor nan has to endure drunken phone calls from him on a regular basis.
My DB is nearly 5 and still isn't in school. He's an alcoholic, threatening and has a violent temper.
Anyway the inevitable happened I spoke up and said that SIL's DF must have good reasons to go NC with her own mother and MIL butted in "just like you and your dad! You only get one dad" to which I told her that he had blown it with me and I wouldnt care if I never saw him again.
She then went on to mention that I should think myself lucky that I have a dad as DP (her son) has never had a dad as he died before he was born. I might just point out that MILs DH was 40 years older than herself and was 76 when DP was conceived and 77 when he died.
The funny thing is that MIL hates my mum and has only ever bad mouthed her (I've stuck up for her of course) I get the feeling that if I ever went NC with my mum, who has helped me out no end over the past few years and is probably the most lovely, selfless person I know, then MIL would be supportive of this, in fact she would even encourage it!
I just needed to offload and rant, I know he's my dad but he was dragging me down to his level, I've been on and off anti depressants, been for endless counselling sessions and have anger management issues due to all of the crap he's put me through and then my stupid MIL makes a fucking dumb arse comment about something she knows fuck all about and tries to make me feel guilty!!!! Well fuck you you old CUNT!!