So, I've never had a good relationship with my MIL. I've been with dh for over twenty years and MIL and I simply don't get on. I've tried very hard and bitten my tongue but she's very blunt, practical and cold, I'm the opposite, tactile, like a laugh, love animals, ( she hates them) She was in hospital recently, I visited frequently, took flowers, chocolates etc. called round to see if she needed anything.
She favours SIL, her daughter over my dh, her son. She makes no secret of it. She also favours SILs children ( 4 children) over mine, (2 children) quite heavily. I've lost count on the number of times I've sat through endless one sided conversations about her other grandchildren, (SILs children). She paid for all the school uniforms for them, amongst other things, the list is endless etc but mine are largely ignored. I should be used to it. My own mum and I were very close but my mum died done years ago. My dad is disabled and I help look after him. I've had severe depression as I have no support. Mil knows all this but still does nothing. We often ask her to baby sit so we can have a night out but it's always 'no', I never ask anymore.
I'm so fucking angry thst she ignores my kids. They're only 10 and 6. One of them has asd. They worship her and jump up and down with excitement to see her. When they do see her, she barely looks up. I know it won't change. I'm getting older myself now, I'm 41, I can't hide my feelings anymore. I'm sick of biting my tongue for the sake of keeping the peace ....