to want a new engagement ring?

[LavendarBlueDillyDilly]

When dh and I got engaged, he was really strapped for cash. He bought me a second hand ring. No problem with that except it was broken. On both shoulders, one of the bits that keeps the stones in place was damaged and the stone wobbled and it also had a big chunk missing on the inside hollow bit (if that makes sense?)

We had to get it repaired. The first repair to the shoulders wasn't good and it remained broken. The second repair was much better, shoulders and stone bit fixed but we couldn't have the chunk repaired at all. And still haven't. Overall the repair work has cost us quite a bit and my DH had to finally admit it cost more than the ring did in the first place.

I know he feels bad about it but hasn't thought about a new ring.

We're a lot more flush these days. Would I be wrong to suggest it?

Obviously the original ring means a lot but it feels a bit shitty that it was always broken...

Have it remade by a jewelery designer with the existing metal and stone. You can add more stones if you luke

Instead of focussing on it being broken, why not look at it as "that's what we had at the time"? It always makes me sad when people replace their engagement rings - like trying to forget who they were at the time. My gran had a really cheap engagement ring and point blank refused to replace it because she didn't want to forget her and granddads rather humble beginnings. Be careful of suggesting it, it might make him feel like you're ashamed of it in some way.

You could suggest an eternity ring tho - especially if you've got a big anniversary coming up.

I think just buy a ring for yourself If your DH is anything like mine he will never think of sorting this out.

My engagement ring has a small diamond. It was as big as DH could afford at the time. Even if he became a billionaire, I wouldn't want another one as it reminds me I didn't marry him for his money bloody good job, as it turns out these days

If you like the stone, could you have a new ring made incorporating it? Maybe adding a few more, as munchkinmaster suggests?

Why not just put the towards the wedding and wedding rings?

Whoops put the money towards

Just ignore me, trying to post while children's whining. Yanbu

Well symbolically, it's pretty crappy that he got you a broken ring. So I wouldn't quite be as sentimental as others about wearing it for rest of my life. I also don't get the notion about reminding you humble beginnings...I buy more expensive handbags, I live in a nicer house... I still haven't forgotten I was once broke. So why wear a piece of jewelry you don't much care for to remind you it's always been a broken ring? If it was a sentimental or inherited ring which happened to be a teeny weeny stone, that would be different. But it's not. And maybe he wants to kick himself every time he looks at it, if he's spent more in repairs (and it's still not quite right) than the actual ring. Maybe he'd rather not be reminded of that and hopes you stop wearing it :-)

Buy a lovely sparkly eternity ring or a wedding band with diamonds/sparkly bits. I'd keep the original ring in a box, but why wear jewelry you don't love every day.

If you like the stone, why not take it to a goldsmith and design a new ring around the stone?

Recently I had my engagement ring remade in 18ct gold from 9ct, but kept the stone as it's lovely (amethyst).

Can you wear your wedding ring on it's own (i.e. it's not specially shaped around the engagement ring)? If so I'd put the engagement ring in a jewellery box for safe keeping and wear the wedding ring on it's own. Definitely justifiable if engagement ring is delicate. If you want a new ring how about an eternity ring?

I don't mean to sound unsentimental - my DH bought me a very cheap engagement ring which continually breaks but I have to wear it as my wedding ring is shaped around it

I wouldn't be too sentimental - it's an engagement ring and you're not engaged any more. Why not see whether you can have it reset? Are the stones worth resetting? If they aren't, and you like the original setting, you could get a new ring made to the same design.

Either way, it is just stones and metal. If you want to wear a nice ring, get one that you enjoy.

I think my husband would be very hurt if I suggested replacing the ring he bought me when we got engaged. We could also afford a much more expensive one now, but it wouldn't be my engagement ring. It would be my "20 years after engagement" ring.

If it was me, I think I would just wear my wedding ring. Up to you whether you drop hints about an eternity ring ...

If you want a new ring and agree with DH that you have the money to spend on it then do it. Yanbu.

YANBU, I would find it really annoying wearing a broken ring every day, and constantly being reminded of how much had been spent trying to fix it.

jess, I think the problem with what you say (and it is lovely about you gran) is that the OP sounds as if she is wearing a ring where she is actually worried about it falling apart? She mentions the stone wobbling and that it can't be fully repaired.

I think that is a bit different from something that is simple or plain, but that isn't at risk of falling apart and getting lost.

I like the idea of having the stones made into something new. Then it is still your ring you've always had, but you won't worry about it. And he shouldn't feel bad, and nor should you.

I am not sentimental either. I had a second hand engagement ring which my husband replaced, with the ring I had always wanted, for my 40th birthday. I think of the new (ish now!) ring as my engagement ring.