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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be raging at Neighbour's interference with our cat?

28 replies

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 05/05/2015 15:15

Am livid, so probably ABU in that I need to calm down but here goes.

Boycat a week ago had a swollen eye. Mainly underneath, but enough that his eye was a bit more closed than the other one. We had a look and couldnt see any bites or scratches, he was happy for us to look so I assume not in pain. DH and I agree to leave it a few days and see if it rights itself.

The following day Next Door Neighbour catches us to say she had noticed it. We live in a terrace, she has cats too, as do.most people in the street, all cats in and out of each others back gardens. We explain we had noticed and were keeping an eye.

About three days ago eye looks improved. Less swelling. NDN saw DH that same day and said "you need to take Cat to the vet, ive been bathing his eye and its looking worse". It was looking better and wtf at bathing another persons cat.

Last night I had another look, and whilst the bottom of his eye is now looking fine, the top is starting to look a bit swollen. DH and I agree that I will take cat to the vet today.

This mornig NDN comes and knocks on the door to again insist we take Cat to the vet. I know!! We are!! God forbid we know what to do for our own pets.

Then she tells me she has been putting ointment on his eye and now our cat wont go anywhere near her because he knows she os going to put ointment on him. Ffs.

I pretty much say "right, ok, bye" at the door. I am taking cat to the vet today at half four. I need to know what ointment she has been using so I can tell the vet but I dont even want to look at my NDN she has annoyed me so much.

Rage!!!

His eye is not and has not ever been weeping, never bled, doesnt hurt him (when we touch it to check) etc. We were simply waiting a short length of time to see if it would right itself.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 05/05/2015 15:16

Oh and so as not to drip feed in the time between the eye swelling and this weekend my Grandmother has passed away and we buried her on friday. So am a bit out of sorts generally atm.

OP posts:
FannyFifer · 05/05/2015 15:20

You're neighbour sounds like she had the best intentions.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/05/2015 15:21

You don't medicate someone else's pet. You have no idea about allergies, other meds etc. It's just wrong.

Nabootique · 05/05/2015 15:22

I think she sounds a bit bonkers. Surely she could have mentioned the injury and say "have you tried bathing it?" or "I have some ointment if you'd like to try that", rather than taking it upon herself to administer medical care??

Sorry for your loss Flowers

WorraLiberty · 05/05/2015 15:24

I know hindsight (no pun intended!) is a wonderful thing, but I would have asked her to leave him alone when she admitted to bathing his eye.

I would have politely thanked her and told her that we know what's best for our own cat.

PurpleSwift · 05/05/2015 15:24

YANBU she's being way too interfering. Totally out of order to treat your cat with anything too. What if your cat was allergic!

Bogal · 05/05/2015 15:31

What a flipping nosey neighbour!! Hopefully she'll give up on her cat bothering if your cat won't go near her anymore, and if not you'd be perfectly entitled to some polite but very firm words about boundaries...

googoodolly · 05/05/2015 15:33

She shouldn't be putting any medication on your cat without your express permission - that could be SO dangerous if your cat had any allergies. I would have done the same as you - left it for a couple of days and then booked it into the vets. I know my cat has been sick before and yet the next day has been absolutely fine, so not all illnesses/injuries require immediate attention.

Ask her what she's been using so you can tell the vet, and then ask her to please never medicate or feed your cat again.

Icimoi · 05/05/2015 15:35

Neighbour is mad, and I would be absolutely outraged at her putting ointment on the eye. Apart from anything else, she had no idea whether you were doing the same and what she put on might have reacted against it and made things worse. In fact, whatever the vet says, I'd be tempted to guilt-trip her by telling her the vet said that what she put on has made it worse.

But maybe a week is a bit long to leave a cat with a swollen eye?

CaptainAnkles · 05/05/2015 15:35

'Hello NDN, I appreciate you're trying to help but in future, please let us look after our own pets. I will sort out bathing eyes, ointment and vets visits myself.'

NeedABumChange · 05/05/2015 15:37

Unless she found the cat with an oozy bloody eye AND you were nowhere to be found there is no reason to bath someone else's animal. How odd. You need to make sure she isnt slipping him worming/flea treatments etc.

Original poster
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 05/05/2015 15:46

Ive just knocked to ask about the meds before I go to the vets so she has given me the drops and said "I would have taken him myself but the vets wouldnt allow it" - no because that would be Mental?!?! I just shook my head and walked off as she called "let me know how it goes".

She may well have the best intentions but WHY interfere with someone elses cat?!

OP posts:
Charlesroi · 05/05/2015 15:47

If it was my cat I'd have bathed his eye in salty water straight away, I certainly wouldn't have left it to see if it 'righted' itself. I don't think the NDN should have taken it upon herself to treat the cat with ointment, but your initial response to her suggested that, perhaps, you didn't much care to do anything about it.
PS swollen eyes can indicate the presence of infectious and potentially lethal diseases.

Original poster
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 05/05/2015 15:48

Whatever the outcome is we will be speaking to her about leaving the cat well alone.

As I said above the funeral was friday and then its been a bank holiday weekend, so most of the week since has been days when it was impossible to take him anyways.

OP posts:
IggyStrop · 05/05/2015 16:12

That's nuts. I would no more medicate someone else's cat than I would someone's child.

notquitegrownup2 · 05/05/2015 16:16

Well meaning, but bonkers! When you come back say that the vet had advised you that the ointment could have made it a lot worse and that it would be much better to leave the medicating to her/him. That way it is less personal - not you, but the vet advising her - and besides, she clearly has you down as incompetent, re cat care!

Hope that your cat is better soon

Fudgeface123 · 05/05/2015 16:26

As stated further upthread, please do check that she hasn't also been giving your cat flea and worm treatments

blushingbooty · 05/05/2015 16:49

She sounds like she could have been making it worse. DMs cat once had something similar, turned out he'd been stung under the eye by a wasp- no infection, nothing could be done, he just had to avoid wasps.

She may have had good intentions but she could have caused real problems. Sorry about your Grandmother OP.

Original poster
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 05/05/2015 19:11

Well the vet found a tiny nick above his eyebrow which seems to have led to a small infection. She wasnt concerned, said an anti inflammatory and a dose of ABs would sort it. If it is no better in a week shesaid she will lacerate it (i dont know if im remembering the correct terminology) but before that we can just keep an eye on him.

She was shocked at NDN and said the drops were prescription only so naughty of her to do so. Eye itsepf totally fine all checked.

I gave the drops back to NDN with a stern "the vet said leave the cats eye alone, please dont try and medicate my cats any more". She looked sheepish tbf, so hopefully thats the end of that.

OP posts:
EponasWildDaughter · 05/05/2015 21:13

Good.

What is it about neighbors and cats?

If they're not stealing them by stealth (feeding) they're appointing themselves as trustees of health!

Makes me cross.

EponasWildDaughter · 05/05/2015 21:14

Hope cat is better soon, also.

GraysAnalogy · 05/05/2015 21:15

I'm glad dogs don't roam about like cats do because if someone did this to mine I would flip.

Hope your cat is better soon OP

Icimoi · 05/05/2015 21:18

Good outcome, OP. It's just occurred to me, don't eye drops go out of date, and if so, we're these in date? Either they were in date and she got them for her own cat who should not have been deprived of them, or they were out of date and potentially dangerous.

chickenfuckingpox · 05/05/2015 21:22

my cat had a bit of a manky eye once i thought it was a hair and could see the "hair" sticking out of the corner of his eye so i pulled it out thinking i was helping it turned out to be a grass seed that had got trapped in his eye i mean right in his eye! he pulled away as i got hold of it i didnt have chance to stop i freaked and called the vet he said i did a good job with it did i wish to retrain as a vet? Hmm im still not sure if he was being sarcastic or cheeky!

did she know what a hard time you have been having? maybe she thought she was helping?

PeaceOfWildThings · 05/05/2015 21:23

I'm seething on your cat's behalf. Poor boycat! Can't cross that garden minding his own business without having someone give unwarrented invasive medical treatment. She's bloody well lucky she has any eyes left herself, our old boycat would have scratched her eyes out. Deservedly.

Flowers for your loss, and for having a disappointing NDN.

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