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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think school should give people a chance to be late?!

42 replies

BlueBananas · 05/05/2015 09:51

We were late for school this morning
Lines go in at 8:40, register is taken at 8:50, if your child is absent you have to ring by 9:20
So this morning we were running late because of my morning sickness, at 9am school are ringing me, I didn't answer because I was rushing around trying to get everyone ready and minimise the amount of time we were late by - as you would
So we arrive at school at 9:10 and I'm signing the kids in when the receptionist is all huffy saying "I rang you before why didn't you answer?" I said "because I was running late and busy" she said "well I needed to know why they weren't coming to school" I did this face and said "but they were coming to school, they were just late, if they weren't coming in I'd have rang by twenty past 9 as per the rules" (probably in a more clipped tone than I usually would)

Now I'd had a very stressful morning already and this seriously pissed me off! AIBU to think that sometimes people are more than 5 minutes late so give them bleeding chance before you assume they're absent? And also to think, what's the point in the 9:20 rule if the staff are going to ignore it?!
Willing to accept it's my hormones but this has really pissed me off!

OP posts:

LotusLight · 05/05/2015 10:39

It certainly makes sense to try to be very early. Always works for us. Then you have a load of time in hand in case of delays. Got to bed half an hour early too which is often a good plan.

OrlandoWoolf · 05/05/2015 10:41

what

That would be a long list for DS who has several options depending on whose turn, the weather, which parent (RP or NRP) is working etc etc.

I think the truth is better. I didn't ring because I was throwing up,

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 05/05/2015 10:46

Lonny, I presume because 9.20 is the time the register closes according to the school policy. Any illness logged before 9.20 can be marked as authorised.

I'd guess the OP's 9am call had bugger all to do with safeguarding and quite a lot to do with the fact that a 9am reminder would allow parents to get to school before the register closes and be marked as late rather than unauthorised. It also picks up those that haven't phoned in sick and weren't going to so they can be authorised.

RustyBear · 05/05/2015 10:50

whathaveilost - yes, most schools have this information when the child starts st the school - but lots of parents don't bother to let the school know if it changes.

There are lots of reasons why the office might need to start checking before the set time

there might be something happening in the child's class which the teacher doesn't want them to miss -the office might know that they will be particularly busy that day - for example, if they are expecting candidates for interviews - this is a peak time for trying to find new staff by September -they may have a deadline for lunch numbers; now that infants have free lunches, the office probably have to start checking who is coming to school earlier than before, so that numbers can be got to the kitchen or whatever supplier they use - our cook will be chasing for numbers by 9.30

That's 3 reasons off the top of my head, quite apart from the safeguarding thing.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 05/05/2015 10:51

Yet another case of damned if they do.....

It sounds like a great system.

LayMeDown · 05/05/2015 10:54

Do schools really ring parents to confirm absence? That is amazing. We my kids are out sick they go in with a note the following day or whenever they are better. I have never called the school to inform then they'll be out nor have the school called me. That's great service for schools.
YA NBA OP of call in time is 9.20 then follow up should be after that point.

OrlandoWoolf · 05/05/2015 10:56

laymedown

Wouldn't you expect the school to contact you if your DC failed to turn up?

And I'm surprised you don't contact them.

SunnyBaudelaire · 05/05/2015 10:58

laymedown my kids schools have always done this, since nursery. Would you not expect a secondary school to contact you if your children had not turned up and could be playing truant?

OrlandoWoolf · 05/05/2015 11:02

I think some schools send a text message out if your DC fails to turn up rather than ringing them.

madreloco · 05/05/2015 11:02

What a load of rubbish! How likely is it that a child old enough to walk to school alone has got lost along the way somewhere?
It isn't at all normal for a school to be ringing parents by 9am, and OP is in no obligation to answer her phone to explain herself to them. My childrens schools have never called me if they aren't there, because they are sensible enough to know that I as their parent know where they are and its really none of their business until I choose to contact them.

dixiechick1975 · 05/05/2015 11:03

I'd take a step back and speak to the school. You are struggling for a short period of time to get them to school on time. Can they assist eg offer a breakfast club slot for a month so your dh can drop on way to work for example. The 9.20 thing doesn't really matter what does is trying to sort things out to make things go more smoothly.

ClumsyNinja · 05/05/2015 11:04

Hope you feel better soon OP.

Consider moving to a rural area. Much more relaxed about stuff like absences and lateness here.

School starts at 9.20 and one day I was running late and rushing DS into the yard. Bumped into another mum arriving after us who said, 'It's Monday, you're expected to be late on Monday's'...

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 05/05/2015 11:41

Do schools really ring parents to confirm absence?

In my area they started doing this after a nursery age child sat beside the deceased body of his mother in their flat for two weeks. They had a 'phone in' policy, but if a child didn't appear, they didn't do anything to check on the reasons for absence.

I know it may seem heavy-handed, but tbh I'll put up with it rather than something like that happen again.

Teacuptravells · 05/05/2015 11:51

Oh Lonny that's awful :( Things like that really scare me when my husband is away!

I think YABVU. Its part of most office/receptionists jobs to chase up people not in school (at the school I tuaght at there was a separate role for it!).

You were incredibly late - it wasn't just 5minutes. Its disruptive for the child and for the class/teacher etc. I can understand you had a reason but if its going to happen every morning you will need to find a nother way to deal with it (breakfast club/another parent to take to school).

I had horrid morning sickness so I do sympathise. I ended up with bags in the car "just in case" and my daughter got very used to me puking int he kitchen in the morning. So much so I remember her asking me casually "what''s for breakfast mummy" as I was!

LayMeDown · 05/05/2015 12:06

Clearly I don't expect them to contact me as it never crossed my mind until I saw it. My kids are young though so wouldn't be going to school unaccompanied. Also am in Ireland and am fairly sure it is not standard practice here. They have only been our for a couple of days at a time so maybe if they were out longer I'd get a call. At secondary and indeed primary I'd expect a call for unexplained (by a note) absences.

Teacuptravells · 05/05/2015 12:13

I wonder if that's a difference due to country? Certainly when I was teaching (secondary) by the time pupils were in my class the electronic register would should reason for absence and I'd know they weren't coming to my class/would be late/on holiday etc.

I'd find it odd to find a school where ringing in the morning isnt the norm over here, just like with work really. Often if you ring early in the morning you just leave a message on the answerphone, when the recptionist comes in they play the messages and enter onto the online register. I'd think ringing after 9 would be unusual (surely you know before 9 9if you're not coming into school!) so shes well within her rights to ring then!!!

workhouse · 05/05/2015 12:19

Our school knows which child is walking on their own and which is still being taken to school.
They are very on the ball with the children walking on their own, but if they know that you still take your child to school then you would get a phone call at about 11 o'clock if you hadn't called.
It's a good system.

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