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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Selling kids old toys - Who gets the money?

66 replies

CalicoBlue · 04/05/2015 20:17

Having a clear out, I sold some of my teenage kids old toddler toys. DS saw me sell a collection he had for £80, he wanted the money. It made me think, I had thought of it as my clearout, but he saw it as me selling his toys and keeping the money. I bought most of them anyway. So I gave him half. AIBU?

OP posts:
Ratherworriedmum · 04/05/2015 20:37

I agree, a gift is a thing that came wrapped with a tag on it for a special occasion and not intended to be shared by siblings. Different to items purchased by you to enhance his childhood.

TheMagnificientFour · 04/05/2015 20:39

Agree Maryz this could lead to a whole lot more issues! Who is the owner of the toys or the books?

Foxy800 · 04/05/2015 20:42

My dd is nine and any toys I sell she gets the money to add to her pocket money but any clothles etc I sell the money is used to get new ones.

drbonnieblossman · 04/05/2015 20:45

Toys were given to him as gifts? The proceeds are his.

TheMagnificientFour · 04/05/2015 20:47

To the people who are sayng that toys are the own byn the child, theredore they should get the money.

What do you do when you hand over the toys to a sibling/a cousin? Do you give some financial compensation to the child too?
If not, how is it different?

shewept · 04/05/2015 20:55

TheMagnificientFour

If its the kids stuff, I ask them if its ok to give it away.

Alisvolatpropiis · 04/05/2015 20:59

It would never have occurred to me to demand money from my mum when she sold any of my old toys.

How very mercenary.

Littlemonstersrule · 04/05/2015 21:04

We clear out together, some go to charity and some we ebay depending on value. Any money gained is for the owner of said item as it was theirs to start with.

Hakluyt · 04/05/2015 21:05

At least half- it's their stuff. And never sell or get rid of stuff without asking first.

wreckingball · 04/05/2015 21:15

Child gets the money, his possessions after all.
Just asking but did you ask him first if he wanted to get rid of them?

MissusThePoint · 04/05/2015 21:15

When I sell the kids' stuff it all goes back in to the kiddy pot used to buy the next round of presents.

Assuming most of these toys were given as gifts (maybe even some of them not bought by you), then I'd says it's VU to keep the money.

The only exception to this is if you're all at risk of starving or becoming homeless.

And given your children are now teenagers I think it isn't very nice to be selling their stuff without asking.

If you want a clear out I would tell your children they've got x number of weeks to sort through their stuff, sell what they want, decide what they want saving and chuck the rest in the bin.

snowglobemouse · 04/05/2015 21:17

they belonged to him so he should get the money. technically.

but it seems a bit grim that he's insisting he gets it. if I was your child i might feel a bit put out you'd sold them without asking but I wouldn't ask for the cash

MissusThePoint · 04/05/2015 21:19

themagnificient I wouldn't give away my child's belonging without asking. That's just nasty IMO.

Toys for younger siblings are lent, not given. As for giving them to friends/charity/family then I'll ask my children if that's something they would like to do just for the sake of doing a good deed. My eldest is 5.

Original poster
CalicoBlue · 04/05/2015 21:20

We have just moved house, and he said he did not want the collection. Lots of stuff have gone to the dump, charity shop etc. I just thought someone might pay for this lot.

I am refusing to put toys in the atic, so if they do not want them in their bedrooms they are going.

OP posts:
OutragedFromLeeds · 04/05/2015 23:25

Gifts are the property of the recipient.

If the recipient no longer wants said gift they can sell or give it away. I'm happy to help the younger ones, sort, clean, advertise and sell their old toys.

If they give it to me because they can't be bothered to sell it themselves then it is mine to do what I want with. If I go to the trouble of selling it, I keep the money. In most cases, this money then gets spent on them anyway, but I wouldn't give them the cash.

Toys that were not gifts remain property of the household and will be passed on as I see fit.

AuntieUrsula · 04/05/2015 23:41

I would definitely think like you - that it's a clearout (assuming these are toddler toys that no one's thought about for years and are just cluttering up storage space somewhere) and it wouldn't occur to me to clear that with the kids first or give them the money! Any more than when I've sold or passed on some of their old toddler clothes or nursery furniture. I wouldn't do that with the things they play with now they're 10/11, but toddler toys? Come on

GetMeFlamed · 04/05/2015 23:45

What was it you managed to sell for £80?!

Was it something that is now a bit of a collector's item?

This happened to my dp. He used to collect these toys when he was little and when his parents moved they said take them now or they're going in the bin. He took them, had them valued and told his parents how much they are now worth (small fortune, there's a lot of them too). They've asked for some of the money when they're sold, their reason being they were bought with pocket money they gave to dp. He's said no. Hehehe Grin

GetMeFlamed · 04/05/2015 23:48

I should have said give him the money. Especially if you've profited.

Jessica2point0 · 05/05/2015 00:16

YWBU to give him any! They were toddler toys, so presumably not used by him for a long time. Money from sale goes in household funds. My mum still has my old Lego, she's kept it for grandchildren. Never occurred to me to take it and sell it on.

MiddleAgedandConfused · 05/05/2015 09:20

In our house the rule that is it was specifically a gift (e.g. birthday or Xmas present) the kids get the money.
If it is a general toy that we have bought during the year, it is our money as it part of the house fixtures and fittings.

slithytove · 05/05/2015 11:05

My kids are toddlers/babies, so I base my arrangements on what I felt was unfair/fair when I was a kid.

Their presents and toys are theirs.
If I want them to share a toy, it's a joint present.

Clothes are mine, worn by them, until they become older and choose/buy/get gifted their own.

Baby equipment is mine. My kids just use it Grin

So. I will keep all money from non toy items. At this current age, some of DS's toys are being used by dd (generic, duplicate, non special items). They still belong to DS. When sold, they will go into the pot of money to buy more things for dc. It's more likely they will be donated tbh.

When they are older, they can sell their own toys, and keep the money. I'll encourage them to do a clear out each birthday/christmas.

Some special toys, I will put away for them to keep when older/for their own kids.

slithytove · 05/05/2015 11:08

DS has a garage he just isn't interested in, nearly brand new.
I'm going to sell it and put the money in his account, because if the gift givers had given him money to start with, there would be nothing to sell. And I certainly wouldn't pocket his present money!

He is 2.

slithytove · 05/05/2015 11:10

We are used to splitting things in this family anyway. When DF got a bonus or did well on investments, he always shared some with us kids. We do the same with ours.

Extra money comes in to our house, we all benefit. Doing a car boot next week. DH and I will get 1/3 and the kids will each get 1/6 into their accounts.

Grapejuicerocks · 05/05/2015 12:00

My kids love a bit of wheeler dealering. They sell things on ebay but as a result, have also realised the value of buying secondhand too.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 05/05/2015 12:04

How do the "they're his - give him all the money" camp feel about handing toys down to younger siblings? Should the eldest be compensated? Who gets the money when everything ends up as the youngest child's and is then sold when finally the last born grows out of the hoard?

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