Was I unreasonable to say no to this, and not feel guilty?
DH and I were booked to go out for dinner, and as an afterthought I invited DSis and DNs to join us because she's recently separated from her husband and I thought it would be nice. She accepted, but changed the dinner appointment to an earlier time slot as it would be easier for her and DNs.
An hour before dinner, she called me to say that her friend needed some advice, and would she mind if she left DNs with me for dinner while she went off to see her friend. She would be gone until about 10pm, so I would either have to bring DNs back to my house, or go to their house and put them to bed (they're 8 and 6).
I'm currently renovating my house, so it's a building site, so I told her that it wasn't really appropriate to bring DNs to mine as there was literally nowhere for them to sit. Because of the lack of seating, I said that our original plan was for DH and I to come home after dinner and watch a film in bed. She said that's fine, the DNs "can just snuggle up in bed with you and DH".
I'm currently suffering from a medical problem where I'm in a great deal of pain and need to rest and lie down a lot. I'm having major surgery in a couple of days time, so this weekend was to be the last time DH and I could spend some quality time together relaxing before my surgery. Plus, my bed isn't really big enough for 4, the film we were watching wasn't child friendly, and DH isn't overly comfortable around the DNs as he's not used to children (certainly not comfortable enough to share a bed with them).
What's more, I don't really think it's fair on the DNs to keep them up in a strange house until 10pm. But that's not really my responsibility.
I initially agreed (because I'm a pushover), because I thought that DH wanted to continue with working on the renovation and I could just take the DNs home to their beds where they would be more comfortable. However, DH then told me he only had an hour or so more work to do then wanted to just chill and watch a film together as planned.
So I called DSis back and told her sorry, we couldn't do it. She wouldn't accept it. She again suggested that the DNs could just come into bed with us, but I said no, we wanted our evening together and that was that.
I suggested she left earlier and therefore could come home earlier, but she refused. I suggested she went to see her friend the next day if it was that urgent, and she refused as she 'had stuff to do'.
She made a sarcastic comment about her 'not realising you had planned a romantic night in', and again asked me to change my plans. She tried, and tried, and tried.
At that point I stood my ground and said that I was initially ok with the idea because I thought DH wanted to carry on working - but those were our plans now, and I didn't have to justify them to her. I said it was fine to have asked, but she had to accept that the answer was no.
She cancelled our dinner plans and took the DCs off to her friend's house. When we got to the bar, we found out that she hadn't informed them of her cancellation so we were left to explain to them that the table for 5 was now a table for 2, and that spare table sat empty for the rest of the evening when they could have otherwise filled it.
I saw her the next day - she didn't mention it, didn't apologize and barely spoke to me. To the point where everyone else I saw was wishing me luck and giving me hugs before my surgery, and she was the only one who didn't.
She has form for this - she's not used to me saying no, as my parents and I usually bend over backwards to accommodate her childcare needs.
Was I unreasonable to refuse to take care of her children? Am I unreasonable to be thoroughly pissed off?