unfair inlaws

[DieselSpillages]

Dh and I have worked hard to own a house. We had Dc young and neither received or asked for financial support from our families.

My sister in law travelled a lot and lived a free life and didn't settle down until recently. We have found out that the inlaws helped her buy a flat with a 200,000 pound interest free, no contract, open ended loan as they wanted her to have some security. Since then DSL has got married to someone who also had a property where they both now live. Both properties have massively increased in value over the last 2 years. They rent out the property DSL bought and are now buying a third property to rent out.

MY DH says he'd rather make his own way and doesn't want to ask for handouts. I feel it's unfair that his sister can have the luxury of all that extra income and investment security whilst we struggle to pay our way.

Dsl is lovely and we did bring it up casually last time we saw her and she was surprised as it hadn't really occured to her. She said her parents wanted to help her out as at the time she was single and didn't have a partner to share the financial burden of buying a house as we had done ! Clearly her situation has changed.

Unlitmately it's their cash to do what they want with but this sort of unfairness can cause discord in families long term. It's ironic because PIL have had a big falling out in their own family over unfair inheritance.

Not sure what I'm asking really. Dh is ok with it and they're not my parents so it's clearly not my place really to judge or be jealous or fantasise about what I could do with a 200.000 interest free loan !

AIBU unreasonable to find this unfair?

This 'its nothing to do with you' attitude on MN always makes me laugh surely families talk to each other, share and care about each other? If Pils were starving would it be 'nothing to do' with op?
Personally I think it is unfair Sil has bought something that has gone up in value. when it is sold will she pay the whole amount over to PILs or only the £200,000?
I had to make my mum change her will recently; I am one of two siblings and she had left less money to my sister because she is married to a milionaire! Although I am struggling slightly I still think any inheritance should be split equally.

Of course it's unfair, and - if SiL and your dh get on well, and it's only really just been raised in her consciousness, then I don't see anything wrong with your dh talking to her again and suggesting she talkes about it with her (their) parents.
If they now have a bit of a property portfolio, then surely she should be talking to her parents about if they want her to pay it back, or if they prefer not to for some inheritance tax reasons, but to check they are being fair to her brother at the same time.
I agree with fairyLiz about the things people post on here sometimes- yes, ultimately it's entirely up to the OP's dh's parents, but I find it hard to believe that anyone wouldn't feel "put out" or "diddled" in some way if their parents gave such a vast sum to one sibling and nothing to the other. I know it's the op's dh's parents and not her own, but many of us married couples actually have joint finances with their dh's and would be miffed to see their spouse being treated so differently from the spouses sibling, by their parents.

Similar things happen with my in-laws. Sil got her wedding paid for, is now getting a deposit on a beautifully finished house. We had to pay for our own fixer upper home and wedding and now the in-laws just complain that we are taking a long time to do our house up! It's because we don't have the money.

It's very unfair when siblings are treated differently.