To not want to go on holiday because of the cat?

[Wideeyedcarrrot]

We accidentally acquired a cat when the neighbours moved out and left her behind. She immediately moved in with us and we've had her got about five years. In that time we have been on holiday but only for a week at absolute most. Usually only for four nights.
In these instances my mom has come over twice a day (20 mile round trip) and fed her, let her in or out etc. Shes basically a house cat, she doesn't go outside very much (by choice). If we put her out for any reason she just sits by the door waiting to come back in.

She has a cat flap into the veranda but it gets very hot in there during the summer (would be ok at night) and also she gets bullied by other cats who also then use the cat flap and eat the food. Our cat is tiny, still looks like a kitten. She won't wear a collar so can't get a microchip cat flap.
She isn't allowed in the main house if we aren't here as she does things like scratch all the leather sofa and chew things. Plus we like to put the burglar alarm on. Generally she sleeps in the conservatory (ruined all the wicket furniture) but that will be too hot to leave her in during the day in the summer.

This year dh wants to go abroad for two weeks. I wanted one week (because of the cat) so we've settled on ten nights.
I feel sick at the thought of leaving her. It's too much for my mom to come over every day twice a day for ten nights. She would come over once a day and I think the neighbours would do the other visit to let the cat in or our but on the odd occasion when the neighbours have helped before the cat has always left home and not come back until we have.

The other option is a cattery but I just cannot bear the thought of leaving her in one. I think she might find it very stressful. She's very much mine, she follows me around the house and miaows a little greeting to me. I hate the thought she will think I've abandoned her like her last owners.

This is why I didn't want pets! I know I will be dreading the holiday and just want to go home the entire time. Dh will go mad if I say I can't go because of the cat and cat aside id love a holiday abroad.

What do people do with their cats when they go on holiday?

I will never understand this attitude of having this hierarchy, and keeping on insisting dogs cats and pets are lower than humans. No need to compare.

I am currently pregnant, and we are deeply in love with our future baby. But we also besottedly in love with our dear 8 month old little dog, who made us feel ready to conceive, who made a young couple feel like mum and dad for the first time ever, whose health and happiness are of enormous importance to us, and always will be. We go away tomorrow and she goes to stay with her designated pet sitter in her own home. If we had one shred of doubt about her well being while there we would cancel our holiday without batting an eyelid. Would do the same for our child. "Shove it into a kennel" is something we would never ever do, neither me nor my husband.

This is to say OP it is neither unnatural nor weird to feel so strongly about your pet. You need to find a dedicated pet sitter who will look after the pet with commitment and consistency. And then stick to them. It's never a question of saying FFS it's a CAT. it's your family, your responsibility, sort out care for the cat from the many pet sitting services available and enjoy your holiday.

I love our cat sitter - she comes twice a day, feeds our four cats three guineas and one fish, empties litter, opens and closes the curtains, fusses the fur babies and send us daily pictures! She's ace

Do you know anyone who may appreciate a house to themselves for ten days? Both my Sister and SIL are early twenties and live with parents. When we go away one of them moves in for the duration. Win win as they get their own space for a week/two and we have the reassurance that someone is around for the cats.

Cattery. Go visit a few, some are much nicer than others. The one I use has a small outside run plus an inside run and an enclosed hutch type thing up high for sleeping. The woman who runs it is cat mad and really fusses them all. She even leaves the radio on for them so they don't get lonely. book her in for one night, then a weekend so she gets used to it and knows you come back. I feel so much happier knowing my cat is safe in the cattery.

My parents had a dog before they had me. I loved that dog and it was hugely protective of me growing up. But they would never put the dog in kennels so we never had a holiday until after it had died. I was 13 when he died and so my first family holiday was when I was 14. Other than cub scout weekends camping, I never went away until then.

Please, put the cat in a cattery.

Either a cattery or a cat sitter. I have a house cat and she's not been bothered by the cattery at all. We can't use a neighbour because I can't ask them to clean a litter box. It's gross! If yours is just food and water I'm sure a neighbour wouldn't mind.

Everyone saying "it's a cat ffs " doesn't understand. Sorry you just don't.
Your situation doesn't sound that easy but I think you need to be open to some compromise and consider a cattery or neighbours. I totally get where you're coming from, and I'm sure you'll be thinking about her while you're away but find a solution you can cope with. she's going to miss you and you'll miss her but you'll be back.

Change it to "it's a dog ffs" and I understand full well, kissmethere, but I still don't let him prevent me going on holiday. Because much as I love him; he is just a dog.

Im the same as you op, I paid alot to put my cat baby in a super posh cattery, with a large private enclose, a tv for noise, a member of staff to sit with him for an hour everyday and feed him roast chicken and his favourite foods and a jumper of mine to sleep on

My in-laws are like this. The cat is their excuse to not go to anything. It's hard for us to understand why they put the convenience of the cat over important family events like holidays and weddings.

Go and have a look at some catteries. I'm sure you'll be surprised at how pleasant the facilities are. I have had cats for years, and have always used the same cattery because I know they facilities are excellent and the man who runs it is really kind and finds nothing too much trouble. I've never had a cause for concern, and the cats come home and carry on as if nothing out of the ordinary happened.

My parents didn't attend my cousin' wedding because the cat was poorly and they didn't want to leave him.

I moved house 4 months ago and they won't come and visit me because the cat will be lonely. My sister lives 10 minutes away from them and would go in to feed, play, change litter tray.

We grew up in a complete menagerie, so I like animals - I just can't understand putting them equal or above your human relations.

what do you mean "you just dont understand???"

I have two cats that I adore, and we have two dogs too.

The dogs give much more of a shit about us going away than the cats do, but even then, as long as you make sure theyre looked after and fed, then they are all fine.

Its not as if youre travelling for months at a time, but a week or two holiday is absolutely fine for an animal to be apart from its owner if its still cared for

Oh OP. My cat is the same. But I just bit the bullet and she was totally fine! Honestly, it will be fine.

Just go and have a lovely holiday. Our cattery sends us texts letting us know how she's getting on.

Really, she'll be fine in a cattery. Pick one that has good reviews, any decent cattery will be happy to let you have a look round first. In a cattery there's someone there all the time to keep an eye on them if they get sick, and they'll spend most of their time sleeping. You might think they'd be happier at home, but for that length of time, a cattery really would be preferable.

I understand op. I am the same about my animals. I use a service that comes and stays in the house as I also have horses. It's not cheap but they are brilliant. I used to put my cats in a cattery that appeared excellent in every way until one of them caught an infection. The cattery owner was cutting corners on cleaning. My cat very nearly died so now I just pay extra for a sitter. The cats are in their own environment and I can enjoy my holiday. I realise it's not for everyone as it is expensive but so were all the vets bills after the cattery!!

Well, hats off to those pet owners who have a neat little hierarchy of humans (often argumentative, greedy, abusive, manipulative, demanding) and animals (never manipulative, unconditionally loyal) in their heads. Well done. Those that don't have pets, your opinions are understandable but don't particularly bother me.

I've got parents in Asia I absolutely adore. I have a husband who I love with my heart, I am pregnant with a beloved kid. And I am mum to Fur Pup. All of these very different, dynamic relationships are an integral part of me. Always will be. I am happy these neat little tower like hierarchies don't occupy my little head.

The first thing we did before Pup arrived was to throughly research 3 local pet sitters, interview them, get health insurance, meet the sitter a few times and all this was done before DPup arrived. We have been on three holidays since then, long and short, and each time she has had a ball at her sitters. Nobody has suffered. But if she didn't have that, or something fell through or she was poorly, yes, our fur baby would need treatment, need to be prioritiesed. All my dear family know and appreciate that.

Get a sitter. Live your life. If pet baby is ill and struggling, would I leave her in an empty house and go do a wedding? Well, thank heavens, I am not that person. DH is not that person. My Mum and Dad aren't those people.