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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this really bad parenting?

41 replies

Herblore · 03/05/2015 21:34

If my husband is away working overnight, I encourage my 5yo DS to sleep in my bed with me. I started doing it when he was younger because it was easier than me having to keep getting up and going backwards and forwards during the night. But now he would happily sleep in his own bed all through the night but I have kept this habit going. I admit that I do it for completely selfish reasons because I like having someone to snuggle with when DH isn't home.

I sort of think it's probably a bad idea, and obviously as he gets older I'm going to have to stop doing it eventually...

Opinions?

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 03/05/2015 22:20

Why should she ignore me when she posted for opinions?
I don't mind in the slightest if she disagrees with me.

She can read my opinion and think "actually I disagree with Cabrinha's view, so - hmmmm, I'm feeling comfortable with my choice".

But the point of posting was to check out other people's views.

If you disagree with me, fine. But don't be so bloody rude teeththief.

Charis1 · 03/05/2015 22:20

If he wants to, great, ignore pp who said no, because it is about you not him. When it comes down to it, deciding to become parents is about us, not them!

Anyway, it is about your relationship.

If he is pleased to do it, just enjoy, it won't last forever!

With my DC, I suppose it stopped about 8-9, don't remember exactly.

bumbleymummy · 03/05/2015 22:21

I don't care if it is! I love the snuggles :)

Charis1 · 03/05/2015 22:22

sorry, i said "ignore" to. What I meant was longer and politer, but "ignore" was quicker to type, I won't use that word next time.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 03/05/2015 22:22

I let dd in our bed if dp is away she's always loved coming in our bed so bad mum here too! She does come in when dp is there too sometimes so my pregnant self is left hanging off the bed to accommodate her majesty

InQuiteAPickle · 03/05/2015 22:22

DD1 never slept in my bed when she was small. She never asked when she was tiny and I never bothered as she was a good sleeper, as opposed to DD2 who was forever in our bed when she was tiny.

I feel like we've missed out a bit, so if DH is away I let DD1 have a sleepover in my bed with me. It's lovely! She's 7.

TeaAndBisquits · 03/05/2015 22:25

I have my DD in with me on the odd occasion that DH is away. She loves it and thinks it's a lovely treat! She's 4, I always give her the option and she jumps at it!

Cabrinha · 03/05/2015 22:26

Charis1, my irritation with teeththief was at being singled out when I'm not the only one on the thread not giving a blanket 'go for it'.
That's what I found rude.
Made me chuckle as I'm typing this with my 6yo's leg over my stomach Grin
I love cosleeping, but like others on the thread, I think it should be driven by the child and not encouraged by the parents.

Tbh, I have more of any issue with a child coming in when one parent is away, than I do with then being there all the time.

If the child likes cosleeping - do it all the time Grin

anothermakesthree · 03/05/2015 22:33

I would perhaps ask your child, without encouragement and then respect his feelings as to where he wants to sleep.

CoolCadbury · 03/05/2015 22:36

cabrinha you and your DD sound cute together.

OP, as long as it's DS's choice then it's not a problem. It should not be about your needs.

Pastaagain78 · 03/05/2015 22:54

I do this. It feels safer knowing I've got them right there next to me when DH is away overnight.

freddiethegreat · 03/05/2015 22:57

After my father died, my mother used to ask me to share her bed because she didn't want to be alone.
I did it once or twice, but quite frankly it felt 'creepy' at the time (I was 12+). With my adult hat on, it was overly emotionally demanding and using me as a substitute for my father and much as I may have compassion & understanding now - my mother was widowed younger than I am now - in conjunction with a load of other examples of her using me emotionally, I'm afraid eventually I started refusing, ignoring the tears and sulks and going to my own bed - but feeling very guilty and hard hearted about it.
Obviously that's an extreme, but it's what 'encourage' reminded me of.

SistersofPercy · 03/05/2015 23:05

I had 17 year old DD in with me a few nights ago. She was having a bit of a shit time, was very low and upset, got in for a hug and feel asleep. It was nice really and ultimately she said she slept better and felt better. Sometimes we all just need a bit of company.

Icantstopeatinglol · 03/05/2015 23:09

My dh is away and I currently have to gorgeous dc keeping my bed warm (probably with farts!Grin) I love it! I feel safer knowing they're with me and the best bonus of extra hugs with my kids! Enjoy while they're young!Smile

Icantstopeatinglol · 03/05/2015 23:10

two not to...my spellings not that bad honest!

momtothree · 03/05/2015 23:16

Yes we do too.... kids now take turns as are bigger. But I used to have all three in ..... no sleep but they were toasty.

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