to lean in?

[reubens34]

I'm interested to get your thoughts on this as I'm in quite a quandary?

As background I'm very lucky to have a decently paid job that I enjoy in a highly competitive area. I've worked there for five years and I've had the opportunity to do more than I could have thought possible.

However there is no set career path within the firm and more senior roles which come up are generally not advertised.
It's not enough to be hardworking and good at your job - nearly everyone is. You have to be able to play office politics too. Unfortunately I am not great at this. I am by nature quiet, although I'm also ambitious.

My boss is great at his job and I have learned a lot from him. However he can also be be quite withering and moody.

I'm finding that frequently these public little put downs are directed at me and rarely at my other team members, who are a bit more assertive or more senior. It's starting to really bother me and affecting my self esteem.

In private he will often be very complimentary about my work and I have very good reviews. I have spoken to him about the way he addresses me in front of everyone and he claims it's because he's trying to push me.

That would be fine if there were plenty of opportunities available but there aren't.

I also suspect that possibly I'm viewed as a maternity risk - there are few women in senior positions and they mostly do not have children.

I feel I have a lot to offer but suspect I'm not going to get where I want in this firm.

There's another company that I would really like to work for that is culturally quite different. You obviously have to earn promotions but you're at least told the positions exist! It also seems to be a bit more progressive towards female workers.

A friend has said she will put in a good word for me there and told me to send her my CV.

I'm also wondering about launching a more concerted job hunt.

The thing is I'm mid 30s and my DH and I are thinking about having our first child fairly soon.

If I moved jobs I would feel out of respect for my new employer I would wait at least another year before trying for a baby.
My pay would increase - although probably not by an enormous amount.
I would also lose the reasonable maternity package I've built up at my current company as in my industry you normally have to wait two years to get any entitlement. We probably could manage although it would be tough.

On the other hand there's no guarantee I'm going to be able conceive anyway and could miss out on promotion and pay rises by staying put.

It's my intention to go back to work full time after having a child.

I know it's the right thing for me and my husband is able to support me with this

My question is am I crazy to go on job hunt now or should I stay where I am?

Hearing your thoughts and your experiences would be much appreciated. xx

No of course you're not crazy, if you want to lean in, then lean in.

If you can afford it there is a blood test you can have which tells you how much fertility you have left (no idea on what it properly tests, the technical term for it etc - I saw it on New Girl on E4!). That might help with your decision making.

Do both. Like you say, there's no guarantee with either your profession or fertility, and it's far better to jump ship as soon as you start feeling discontented rather than waiting until you've desperate to leave like me and my DH do

Might be worth checking current employment law on maternity entitlement and also unfair dismissal policy. Off the top of my head I think you have to be in a post for two years before you can bring any claims of unfair dismissal, e.g. if your new employers sacked you because you were pregnant. I'm no expert, but I'm aware that these are things to consider.

I'd go for it. I think it's incredibly important to enjoy work and be comfortable and excited for prospects. You want to go back to work after children, so if there's a chance now to be somewhere that you can grow and be happy both before and after maternity then you ought to try and grab it! Then you will be happy whether you have children or not.

I work in a senior position in a very male dominated field where not many of the few women have children
My advice would be just get on with what you want to do - don't hold back with TTC or looking around at other jobs. You never know what will happen first and babies can't always be planned. Just go for it. If you have to tell relatively new employers you are pregnant then so be it - I think as women we worry more about the consequences when in fact the employers just have to suck it up.

Go for the job change. Possibly put off the ttc for a few months till you start the job if you are concerned about that. You won't want to be starting a new job with a baby, it's hard enough going back to what you know.

That would be fine if there were plenty of opportunities available but there aren't

This is rubbish. There's no such thing as an open position, waiting for you. The first step of 'leaning in' is recognising that you have to make your own position. You won't get anywhere if you sit around waiting for someone to recognise your talents and invite you into the inner circle.

you're at least told the positions exist!

Again with the waiting around for a position to be made available. It's a fools game.
Decide you want a promotion. Approach your boss. Say why you deserve a promotion. Ask what you need to do to get it. Tell her/him that you'd only be prepared to wait six months before being promoted. Shake on it. Get working.

(PS the senior positions in your current organisation aren't advertised because pretty much everyone else, aside from you, is doing what I've advised in my post above. Especially your male colleagues.)

What does leaning in mean?

I think it's a truly wanky expression of the same ilk as 'blue sky thinking' or 'going forward', meaning going for it in your career. (in the op's case, not hanging around in case she gets upduffed). Please correct me if I'm wrong.