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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the news about the royal baby is completely outweighed by the death of Rio Ferdinand's wife at just 34

113 replies

Bearbehind · 02/05/2015 19:53

The news is full of the royal birth but I've just read about Rio Ferndinad's wife and found it so so sad.

She was just 34 with 3 children and was taken by the bastard that is cancer.

It just makes you realise how fragile life is.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bearbehind · 03/05/2015 11:09

I didn't come here for an argument at all.

I apologise for not using her name, I didn't think many people would know who I meant if I said Rebecca.

I've also explained that 'outweighed' was the wrong word- it is simply a case of one sad story and one happy story happening at the same time which really makes you think about how fragile life is.

OP posts:
Springtimemama · 03/05/2015 11:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 03/05/2015 11:17

I don't understand why you posted this either OP.

There was a thread yesterday about Rebecca's death which was contributed to, other than to offer sympathy what do you expect to have been written?

A death so young and leaving children Motherless is incredibly sad and I doubt any of her family would want huge attention.

The birth had been anticipated for days.

RunRunAsFastishAsYouCan · 03/05/2015 11:22

Yes it is fragile and knowing that you are leaving three young children behind is incomprehensible.

AyeAmarok · 03/05/2015 11:30

But there are lots of sad stories, OP. Thousands of people died tragically yesterday. Is one more "important" because she was married to someone famous? No. They are all equally important to all who knew them.

People like babies. Lots of people feel a connection to the Royals, even if it's just a passing interest. That's why it's 'news'.

By complaining that the Royal baby news has overshadowed Rebecca's death, your actually dismissing other non famous people who have died too. They are all equally sad.

Original poster
Bearbehind · 03/05/2015 11:37

That wasn't my intention aye

I'm fortunate as I've only lost aged grandparents so the only early deaths I've heard of have been those that make the news and when it happens it really makes you think.

There's also the fact that we often think famous people have it all and something like this just shows that's not the case.

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Roobo · 03/05/2015 11:40

I've found this thread really distasteful, but couldn't really articulate why.

This sums it up :

By complaining that the Royal baby news has overshadowed Rebecca's death, your actually dismissing other non famous people who have died too. They are all equally sad.

I hate when a celebrity dies and people try to 'out grieve' eachother on social media. Yuk.

CrabbyTheCrabster · 03/05/2015 11:52

Can't feel anything other than fleeting 'oh that's nice, a woman had a baby' and 'oh that's sad, a woman died young' about either, I'm afraid. Confused I don't know either of them personally and there are people having babies and dying prematurely all over the world, every moment.

CrabbyTheCrabster · 03/05/2015 11:53

There's also the fact that we often think famous people have it all

I don't. Hmm

Original poster
Bearbehind · 03/05/2015 12:04

I'm not trying to 'out grieve' anyone- I don't know any of those involved so why would I grieve.

I can and have thought about those involved.

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Buxtonstill · 03/05/2015 12:11

I think the way you replaced 'outweighed' with 'tainted' was particularly crass.
Unless you knew Rebecca, then to give her death more than a passing thought of sadness is vicarious.
How can it 'taint' the news of a Royal birth? They are two completely different events

Original poster
Bearbehind · 03/05/2015 12:16

Unless you knew Rebecca, then to give her death more than a passing thought of sadness is vicarious.

Sorry- I didn't realise you had the monopoly on what other people can think.

A premature death like that of Rebecca Ferninand can and has made me think about life in general- that's not vicarious.

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DrankSangriaInThePark · 03/05/2015 12:21

Ha, so funny OP.

I didn't realise you had the monopoly on what other people can think.

Said the pot to the kettle.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 03/05/2015 12:24

Do you not even see the irony in what you've just said? You start a thread last night on how everyone should feel about 2 people none of us have ever met, and then this morning shout at someone else for doing the same? (Only she wasn't...)

Your actual agenda (anti-monarchy? anti people with money? anti babies? anti Middleton?) might have received more support on a thread where you didn't try and wring some competitive grieving bollocks kudos out of it.

Buxtonstill · 03/05/2015 12:27

Judging by your replies, you seem very angry, and very rude to anyone who disagrees with you.
Save yourself some stress and hide the thread.

chocolatelife · 03/05/2015 12:27

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/in_the_news/2369435-Rio-Ferdinands-Wife-Rebecca-Ellison-has-died-she-was-only-34?

there you are,
no arguments on this thread

chocolatelife · 03/05/2015 12:28

Poor Rio, but tbh I am sure he will be grateful he doesnt have the full glare of media attention in a way.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 03/05/2015 12:32

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2369332-Rio-Ferdinands-wife-died-age-35

It was written here too.

Needsomezzzs · 03/05/2015 12:32

A few years ago a Royal event occurred on the same weekend as the most tragic period of my life. I'm obviously not famous so didn't have to contend with media coverage of my situation, I can't imagine how much worse my living nightmare would have been in that instance, therefore I can understand how Rio and his family must be welcoming the distraction to give them so space.

That said it was also incredibly difficult every time I turned the TV on to hear about how "a nation where rejoycing", I wasn't, I wanted to die. Of course I knew this was due to my tragic circumstances but on occassions I have reflected that some media outlets do go OTT in their coverage, which is difficult but it's life.

Rio and his children have been in my thoughts since I read about Rebecca's death. I do hope that they are recieving the love and support they need from family and friends.

I feel pleased for William and Kate, it's incredibly happy news.

I also think of all the people going through their own tragedies - as I do most days.

Original poster
Bearbehind · 03/05/2015 12:33

Despite you mentioning it numerous times- I haven't told anyone how or what to feel.

I realise starting this thread was a mistake- yesterday, with one happy and one sad event, it made me think how life is full of good and bad and you don't always have any control over what you get and you might get both at the same time.

I'm not anti any of the things you mention- what a strange thing to say.

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JohnCusacksWife · 03/05/2015 12:36

This thread smacks of the really distasteful trend of public grieving for people they don't even know that seems to be going on now. I live in a city where there have been 3 tragic incidents in recent years which have resulted in the kind of mawkish, intrusive, vicarious surge of "grieving" that I feel really uncomfortable with. If I had a loved one involved in one of these incidents I think I'd feel invaded by the extent to which unknown people seem to feel the need to have some involvement in my tragedy. There are respectful ways to show sympathy and support without turning it into some sort of competition.

LosingTheWillToSkate · 03/05/2015 12:37

Whilst its undoubtedly sad whenever someone so young dies, none of us probably feel genuine grief as Rebecca wasn't a part of our lives. We can still feel saddened though.

Over the last few weeks, our news has been full of election nonsense, a tragedy on a huge scale in the Nepalese region and untold other amounts of doom and gloom.

The royal baby, personally I couldn't care less. They seem a perfectly lovely young family and for the first time in a long time the country has the prospect of a young monarch who feels accessible to us ordinary folk. It's a happy occasion, people are absolutely right to feel joyous over something positive taking up news space for a change.

LosingTheWillToSkate · 03/05/2015 12:41

Oh and my husband has cystic fibrosis. Spending any amount of time at his hospital unit serves as reminder enough of how fragile life is. Young people die there far too often. I grieve for them because I feel a connection to them, however loose. I grieve for the poor guy in Nick's team who died on Everest raising money for the CF Trust. My own husband is likely to die young. It's all tragic. Life can be shit. So I revel in happy news, its a rather nice distraction from what can sometimes be a gloomy existance.

MorrisZapp · 03/05/2015 12:45

This thread serves no purpose at all. If you want to ponder the deeper meaning of life then why start an aibu about a royal baby and a footballers wife, and call people crass for not saying the right things.

Thread gone wrong, give it up.

Original poster
Bearbehind · 03/05/2015 12:48

I've asked for this thread to be deleted as is isn't at all in the spirit I intended.

I was trying to express how one happy and one sad event in a day had made me think about how you don't know what's in store for you and how your feelings for one thing can be overshadowed by something else.

All this talk of competitive grieving is hugely distasteful and is not at all what I was trying to do.

OP posts: