To consider having number 2 even though I hate being a mum?

[Wibblewobble100]

I feel incredibly sad. Mother hood has simply not lived up to my expectations. I was so looking forward to it and I have found it so impossibly hard. My son is beautiful but doesn't sleep most of the time and I no longer have the patience to deal with it. 11 months has worn me down. I am so jealous and resentful and angry about those who have babies who just fucking sleep. In my head al these parents are so smug and I just want to punch them ( I know that is unreasonable, I just need it off my chest).
Despite all this I really want my son to have a brother or sister. My own siblings are wonderful and I want DS to experience that. I know there are no guarantees they'll get on but for me it's really important to complete our family, but how can I when I find the experience of being a mum so awful? Do I wait until he finally sleeps but then have to go back to sleepless nights, or should we just get it over and done with?

It gets an awful lot easier when they are stable on their feet imo as you can wear them down more during the day. Good routine with a decent lunch nap, lots of walking and plenty of food andDD's sleep really improved

Just to add a glimmer of hope, DD woke every 2 hours at 11 months, but at 20 months sleeps 7-7.
Bad sleepers are not necessarily that way forever.

I seem to remember my little one wasn't sleeping well at 11 months either. It was around then (as I was planning my return to work) that I stopped breast feeding him at night and I honestly think that helped us.

Are you going back to work op?

I wouldn't stress about a sibling when you are still struggling with this. I started to think about maybe getting pregnant when my little one was about 18 months ish.

He's just over 2 now and he sleeps through most nights from 8pm to 7.30am. I'm expecting number 2 in June.

Not to hijack the thread (although I'm sure it would help the OP too) but to all those of you who had babies who were terrible sleepers/frequent wakers: what did you do so that your babies now sleep better???? Thanks!!

Get a night nanny for a few weeks to help you sort your DS's sleep.

and how much would that cost

not everybody on MN is loaded

I personally would wait or just stick to one,especially if you're not enjoying motherhood at the moment.

My Dd1 loved being an only child and is still not impressed about having a sibling,who's nearly 3 now.

I'd check with HV and GP to make sure there is no underlying issue and then maybe decide on a course of action and try to get your baby to sleep through before you actually decide about TTC #2.

I don't "agree" with CC or CIO in general but my kids sleep so I've never had to go down that route - OP, I wouldn't rule out some kind of sleep training once you have got the OK that it's nothing medical.

My ds1 didn't sleep at all until he was 12months (think waking every 40mins, refusing naps in the day...) After that he slept 7-7 (with a two hour nap after lunch, until he was 3) and now sleeps like a top. All we did was a bit of gentle sleep training but I didn't want to do it till he was 1. The Dr Sears website is very helpful. Also they are ready when they're ready iyswim, but I echo the poster who said even the crappest sleepers aren't necessarily always so.
We are going through the same now with ds2 but the difference is we've been through it before and out the other end, so we can see light at the end of the sleep-deprived tunnel :-) also 2nd time round you find the energy to actually enjoy every minute of it, rather than just trying to survive!
Having two is just wonderful, my beautiful boys love each other so much and it's amazing to see them interact with each other. Hang on in there OP, motherhood is the best! X

I don't have any advice about another pregnancy but I will tell you my dd1 was like this. She didn't sleep more than 4 hours at a time for a very, very long time.

She is now 2.6 and without much effort from me she now sleeps well and I feel more human again.

I totally relate to wanting to punch smug sleeping babies parents. Sleep deprivation was one of the hardest things to deal with. It really put me off having dd2 to be honest.

My second didn't sleep longer than an hour or two at most for almost TWO YEARS (health problems) and has 2 younger siblings. IT's not certain at all that another child would be as bad a sleeper, but do you think you can risk it? Maybe wait a while and have a little respite before deciding.

YANBU, purely because you don't hate being a Mum, you hate sleep deprivation. That's allowed. It's considered a form of torture for a reason. So, stop beating yourself up, OK. and xx

I always imagined having two girls who were really close, because I am really close to my sister, and was growing up.

I got my two girls, but they are not close. It was only when they reached about maybe 14 and 12 that they started to get along a bit, in patches.

However, DD1 was a very good sleeper; DD2, less so. Your second DC may well be a better sleeper than DS.

I felt like this at 11 months OP, then found out I was pregnant again (I was on the pill). DD is now 18 months and I'm 31 weeks pregnant. She still doesn't sleep. I'm exhausted. I would wait!