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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what you think a mum looks like? (Trivial)

15 replies

Sidalee7 · 01/05/2015 22:09

I only ask this because whenever i mention at work that I have DC the response is "you don't look like a mum" OR "I would never have thought you had children".

I really need to start answering "why?" But I just get embarrassed and brush it off. Would you ever say this to someone?

I know I'm probably REALLY overthinking this but im starting to feel a bit hurt by it.

OP posts:

Fromparistoberlin73 · 01/05/2015 22:10

Take it as a complement .....

shewept · 01/05/2015 22:11

What a weird thing to say.

I have no idea. I look different to my mum, sil and friends. We all have different styles, hair, body types etc.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 01/05/2015 22:11

Stealth boast right?

Original poster

Sidalee7 · 01/05/2015 22:13

NOT stealth. Omg! Genuinely just find it a weird thing to say.

OP posts:

Aurochs · 01/05/2015 22:13

If I think of a "mum" I don't see myself, but someone with a pigtail and a gilet and a buggy, I guess that's because that's the "look" around here among the newish/younger mums. No or very little make-up, weary but jolly expression.

Maybe they just mean you don't look really tired or flecked with baby sick.

Velociraptor · 01/05/2015 22:14

I think a Mum looks like someone over 20 (mostly) and that is about it really. I don't think my looks changed at all when I became a Mum.

Aurochs · 01/05/2015 22:15

OTOH OP I got told I was "like a mum" before I even had any DC, by a bunch of 18yos ( I was early 30s) ... maybe that's worse? :o

Greenstone · 01/05/2015 22:17

I get this too and tbh I'm usually secretly pleased not sure what it means but I think most people have the mental image described by Aurachs and I don't look like that.

motherofmonster · 01/05/2015 22:17

What do i think a mum looks like ?.... Knackered mainly

purplemurple1 · 01/05/2015 22:19

I get this too i dont think its looks for me as i'm fat and middle aged and when i ask why generally its because i dont act caring, and i dont talk about my kids or ask others about theirs.

Although i think many people have a weird idea of how a mum looks and acts.

DinosaursRoar · 01/05/2015 22:20

I'm guessing you look very groomed and stylish, as though you put a lot of time, effort and energy into how you look - most of the "mum look" comes from having limited time or energy for yourself compared to before dcs.

Sansarya · 01/05/2015 22:21

People are weird. Woman at work was asking to see photos of DS (I've recently gone back after maternity leave) and when I showed her some on my iPad another woman said "oh you're such a mum." What does that even mean??

Original poster

Sidalee7 · 01/05/2015 22:22

Haha I have definitely been flecked with baby sick but not for a few years..

I guess I am paranoid its because they think I'm immature or something...when I think of a mum I don't have a particular image - everyone is so different.

OP posts:

StellaAlpina · 01/05/2015 23:21

People always think I have children, even though I don't

Vijac · 01/05/2015 23:47

Without seeing you it's hard. But I would take it to mean that you look good! Dynamic, young, slim, stylish, fit and not knackered. As opposed to me-bags under the eyes, clothes that don't fit from pre pregnancy, extra weight. No high heels etc. Take it as a complement.

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