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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel so angry about these text messages between DH and business partner

59 replies

thinkingofayear · 01/05/2015 12:35

My DH and I set up a business together 5 years ago, I basically did all the admin and bits that nobody else really wanted to do full time hours. I was paid whatever the minimum is for director and I owned 50% of the company (£640 a month i think) not a huge amount but I did it to help DH and we share all income anyway so it wasnt a huge issue.

At Christmas my DH went away with someone we worked with for a business meeting and when he came back for whatever reason he had decided to hand one third of the company to him. I could have said no but tbh I DH convinced me otherwise. So we then had a 1 third share of the company each.

A couple of months ago I found out I was pregnant and I have been really really sick not able to go in. I have done some work from home but fewer hours. Today I logged into my computer which DH shares and the messenger popped up on dhs account since he was logged in last and the last messages were from the business partner to dh moaning that I had still been getting money when I was off and still had share implying that because I was pregnant and off now and going to be off in the future I should not and should get no money. He called me on the way home last night to moan that we needed to spend less which was now I see obviously brought on by this.

We have taken a MASSIVE cut in income since christmas we used to have a good income now it is down to £1600 a month - without my 600 it would be less that £1000. Yet DH did not defend me saying anything like " well it is her company as well" or " she did spend the last 5 years helping to set this up maybe letting her stay off when she has been so sick she has made her throat bleed is just ok..."

This week I was supposed to have a consultants appointment but I had to cancel because we didnt have £5 to get there. Yet dh seems to think that we "take too much money". The business is making ok money I know that so I dont understand why this is such a MASSIVE issue and why I now have to take iron supplements because I couldnt afford to increase meat etc in my diet when I needed to...

I am so bloody close to just calling them up and blowing my top about it. I just dont know if I am being unreasonable to be taking it so badly. I feel like just telling them to take the company and fuck off but all that will do is take away what I have anyway.

I cant even go back now from being ill as the income has gone down so much we can no longer cover childcare - I am stuck and feel like I am being attacked from all directions

AIBU to go shit crazy!?

OP posts:
Original poster
thinkingofayear · 01/05/2015 13:01

ok MAJOR update.

According the our accountant. He has put the new person through as a director but has never filed the paperwork for him to be a shareholder. So I still have 50% of the company. I am so confused I have only been off 1.5 months and it seems like things have got so complicated.

I really need to talk to DH about what the fuck is going on when he gets out of meetings.

the income of the company is not huge it is a small company!

It was around £12,000 per month before and it is still £12,000 per month on average. So there has been no increase.

OP posts:
Bakeoffcake · 01/05/2015 13:02

I actually think you need some business, legal advice.Sad could you post on the Legal board?

Your DH and this other person twat need to made aware that you know your rights as a director.

You are his wife as well as a director and it looks like your H needs to realise his behaviour is effecting your marriage.

Original poster
thinkingofayear · 01/05/2015 13:02

So would I be correct in thinking that as a director he is an employee of the company like any other and if I put my foot down as 50% owner the agreement to hand over shares would be stopped.

OP posts:
VenusRising · 01/05/2015 13:04

Get a solicitor, and DO NOT Under ANY circumstances get a legal partnership! Your advice is very wrong pacificdogwood about this.

You need to have a meeting, with solicitor accountant and your DH, and if needs be bring the children with colouring books.

Lay it out that you and your DH started this business and you are not some bolt on admin person. You and your DH are joint owners and he had no authority from you to add another person, especially giving him part of your share. For sure if he wants to split his own half with this new guy then we'll and good, but you hold your own 50%.

Make sure your accountant is in on the meeting also, to go over the books and highlight that this new guy is costing the company more money than he's bringing in.

Get your directorship drawn up, with shares etc, and say goodby to this freeloader. If he's not making up his own salary, then he has to go.

Don't sign a partnership agreement. They're a nightmare if you and your DH split as he and this other guy will incur expenses which you will be liable for.

I hope you're feeling much better soon.

Something tells me that your DH is and this guy is of a more traditional mindset so be sure to come out shooting, and don't stand for any sexist shit.

Good luck.

Hakluyt · 01/05/2015 13:04

You need legal advice. This afternoon. Don't waste time talking about it on here- find a lawyer.

KissMyFatArse · 01/05/2015 13:05

You hold 50% still so refuse to give any part of your shares away. If your husband wants to give this guy a third he can do that from his own 50%! And leave himself with barely anything. I would also stipulate nothing gets changed without your involvement.

Sounds like the other guy is trying to push you out and your'dh' is doing nothing about it other than trying to please him.) he needs to get a grip

FenellaFellorick · 01/05/2015 13:08

Get legal advice now. As in today.

magoria · 01/05/2015 13:08

Have you signed any paperwork re shares? If not put this on hold now until it is resolved.

Bakeoffcake · 01/05/2015 13:16

Tell your accountant that under no circumstances must he file that paperwork, as you do not agree to it.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 01/05/2015 13:19

There's some good easy to follow stuff on the www.gov.uk website. Put in directors responsibilities or employee shareholders and you might get a clearer picture of your situation.

Fwiw I think it IS reasonable for someone to bring no financial collateral if they can bring market intelligence or expertise. This fella doesn't seem to have brought either though or the income would have risen. Or could it be if he hadn't been brought in, the business would have collapsed and he's replaced "lost" revenue if that makes sense?

Original poster
thinkingofayear · 01/05/2015 13:21

I have never signed anythign to hand over anythign at all, so I dont think the accountant could file paperwork even if DH told him to. Although tbh I was under the impression it was sorted from the way dh and partner have been talking, obviously not thank God. I am not sure why we are paying dividends etc to him if it isnt sorted but I will be finding out!

I am emailing the accoutnant now to clarify my position and I am going to speak to dh as soon as he is back in the office.

OP posts:
Original poster
thinkingofayear · 01/05/2015 13:22

Down no i dont think the business would have collapsed as I said it is small but reasonably secure!

OP posts:
OhNoNotMyBaby · 01/05/2015 13:24

Chiming in again to reiterate what pps are saying. INSTRUCT YOUR ACCOUNTANT IMMEDIATELY THAT HE MUST NOT FILE THAT PAPERWORK.

Then get legal advice WITHOUT the involvement of this guy at this stage.

You are your DP need to get a rock solid business agreement in place between the two of you and then get more legal advice on how to get rid of this other guy.

If you don't do this I think you will find that very soon you have no money and no business. And how come the 'unexpected tax bill' was 4k? There shouldn't be any unexpected tax bills - you and your accountants should be figuring this stuff out week by week.

Original poster
thinkingofayear · 01/05/2015 13:26

Ohno our current accountant does and it is all fine and up to date - our old accountant did not do it correctly even though we thought she had and the first we knew about it was when we got a demand. Oddly she did it to many other clients and then disappeared never to be seen again.

I would say its been an annoying year.

OP posts:
TwartFaceBeetj · 01/05/2015 13:28

I still think you should get legal advice today as well as emailing your accountant.

Theoretician · 01/05/2015 13:34

If you are paying "dividends" to someone who is not entitled to them, there's a chance that HMRC will regard them as net pay, and come after the company for nearly the same amount again in PAYE.

CinderellaRockefeller · 01/05/2015 13:36

Does your dh have any kind of debt you don't know about? I'd check if I were you.

OhNoNotMyBaby · 01/05/2015 13:36

OP you seem remarkably laid back about the fact that your business is in danger because:
a) your OP is clearly inept at running a business and
b) this other 'partner' is not only siphoning off your past investments and future profits, but is also denigrating your part in a business that isn't his and that he doesn't contribute to.

As Twart and others say - get legal advice today, and email your accountant.

MNpostingbot · 01/05/2015 13:51

Sorry, but ignore everyone telling you to see a lawyer and go and see an accountant.

No disrespect intended but when I read the first post about "minimum pay for a director" (which I presume to be your personal allowance since there is no such thing as minimum pay for a director) there were alarm bells you don't really know what you are talking about in business terms.

That the new shareholder didn't put capital into the business is irrelevant. If his addition to the business is profitable clients then that is his capital investment.

There isn't enough detail in your posts to judge this. Hence you need to see an accountant, I'm happy to try and help on here if you want to give more details.

Whether or not this is reasonable (the share deal that is, his attitude towards you isn't reasonable) depends on a lot of factors.

How much profit did the business generate before the partner joined?

If the business made 100k per year before then your shares were worth 50 k per year.

With his customers and whatever else he has brought to the business (scale for example, can you now buy cheaper because the volume has increased) how much is the business now making?

If it's making 200k your third is worth 66.6 k per year. So good deal for you.

If it's now making 120k per year your share is worth 40k per year. Bad deal for you.

It's not as simplistic as that of course. It may be that the plan is to take one step back and three forward. I can't possibly tell without knowing more about the business.

Hence you need to see an accountant, and not a bookkeeper, a proper accountant from a decent sized firm.

Given your husband and the shareholder haven't filed the SH1 share return - so presumably new shareholder hasn't paid the tax on the shares (which he should having received them for his employment) it looks like all three of you are not taking any proper advice and leaving yourself wide open for all sorts of disagreements and very possibly a tax bill and fine

MNpostingbot · 01/05/2015 13:53

And don't talk to the existing accountant , sack him as your advisor. He's doing an awful job not flagging these issues up and referring you to someone who isn't out of their depth

noodle8000 · 01/05/2015 13:59

Your husband sounds a little weak and like he could use a good strong mentor in business and marriage- someone he could talk over big decisions with instead of being pushed around.

minouwasminou · 01/05/2015 13:59

Run a background check on this guy, as well - previous directorships etc etc.

I wonder if he's done something similar before.

minouwasminou · 01/05/2015 14:04

and i second what a PP said about some debts lurking somewhere

Shocked by the bit where OP says she missed a consultant appt because her DH couldn't stump up a fiver and then complained about "them" (did he mean OP and baby?) costing too much!

Was it a conference they went to, or did the spend the weekend gambling or something? Has DH lost his shirt and promised to sign over a third of the business to offset some of the debts incurred?

Put this in legal, op, really.

LurkingHusband · 01/05/2015 14:05

Although the general rule is cockup over conspiracy, something smells very bad here. As in I don't believe all this "confusion" and (to be blunt) "incompetence" is necessarily genuine.

OP you need serious, professional advice. Pay for it. It might be the best investment you make.

MissDuke · 01/05/2015 14:16

Op, do you have normal morning sickness, or full on hyperemesis? If its morning sickness, I would personally suggest that you drag yourself in there when you can, you need to stay involved in the running of this business. I don't mean to sound harsh, but many of us have had no choice but to work through morning sickness, it is doable. Hyperemesis is a whole other ball game though, involving stays in hospital, so I certainly wouldn't suggest you work through that!!!

You need to have a serious chat with oh, or this is going to eventually affect your marriage I think :-(