to not want my dh to work on my car

[chocoholic05]

I passed my driving test 18 months ago and this is my first car. My husband seems to have taken it upon himself to service and or work on my car. And every single time he has done anything on the car it has always ended up with the car going in the garage. And costing a fortune! Three times it has happened and three times he has ended up causing a lot of damage. And he never asks me or even tells me he's done it. He does it in secret and I discover later when it breaks down. The last time it happened I insisted to the aa man and later the garage that no one had touched the engine and head gasket at all. When I relayed it to my dh he went quiet then confessed. Last mot I had an advisory regarding brakes. Anyway dh said he must take a look. I said absolutely not no way. However today the Hayes car manual arrived today. He'd ordered it from eBay. I am not happy. :-(

And he is not a mechanic by the way! I want the advisory to be looked at in a garage.

Oh and he doesn't know it's arrived. He told me he'd ordered it and i was home when it arrived and I have hidden it. I don't want him to have it because I don't want him to use it!

I would also hide your car keys! And tell him that it's already booked in at the garage - it's your car, not his! :)

I know but he acts like he has two cars to maintain. He insists on washing and hoovering both cars. And always has a go at me for the state of the car. Even though I never ask him to

I'd hide the keys (and the spare) tbh. That'd annoy the shit out of me. And if he did manage to get his hands on it, the money for the repair would come from him.

Look, there's a huge difference between him washing the car (let him get on with it, I say) and fixing the brakes. Not only would I not let him near my car, I wouldn't get into his car (and nor would my children) if he's fixing it himself.

It's ridiculous. He doesn't know what he's doing. What he is doing could kill you and others.

Oh and get good life assurance on him!

You need to hide your keys and just reiterate it's YOUR car ffs!! ... You don't want him to have a 'bit of a go at the brakes', or any other part ... As everytine this happens it costs you a fortune!

Keep saying this until he gets it through his thick skull...!!

Good luck!

YANBU
if he's not a mechanic & a track record of making an arse of it tell him to beat it & get a new hobby!
Never mind the money, it's not safe!

And his behaviour is potentially lethal..

He says that's why he's ordered the manual. So that he'll get it right.

Surely if it were that easy we would all fix our own cars & garages would be obsolete.
Stand firm, especially if it's mucking around with your brakes !!!

Keep your car keys well hidden, or with you, including the spare set.

He sounds like a bodger who can't stop himself from tinkering. Perhaps he feels some need to prove himself as a Mr. Practical when he isn't, and some of what he is doing is dangerous. Brakes are pretty specialised and you cannot afford to have a bodge there.

My husband is not a Mr. Practical either. To be fair, he doesn't do anything to either of the cars though. He did once take it upon himself to replace a rear brake light bulb in a former car of mine. Not sure what he actually did, but the next time I drove it I found I had no indicators and had to drive it straight to the local garage and plead with them to sort it out on the spot. He hasn't done anything to my car since.

Cripes, YANBU! Using a manual is ok for non-essential maintenance, but the brakes?!

He asked today and if we've had any post I said a bank statement oh he said. I know that's not what he meant.

Let him wash it from the outside, but do NOT give him the keys (even the spares) to vacuum it inside. Surely he would use the opportunity to tinker again while you are not looking. He has already done it a few times before.

So you've passed your test now, have your own car and so you the wee woman now have your own foothold on the 'man' side of the tracks, eh?

He's pissing over his man territory. Muscling in just to let you know that cars'n'stuff is HIS business.

Sit him down and tell him that he is not to touch your car again. Take the manual to a charity shop a good few miles away. Tell him there was no point in having a manual for your car when he's not going to be going near it. Hide the keys and tell him that the next time he so much as breathes on it, you'll take his for a respray, bright pink.

He's being a total twat.

Buy an old banger, park it on your drive and tell him if he wants to play at mechanic play with that not yours!

Does he balls up his own car, or just yours?

Let him maintain his own car ffs! How is it that any electrical/gas work has to be done by certified people but not car maintenance?

Just mine. Through his car has had all sorts of problems but because he didn't know how to fix it he just ignored it until it got worse It still has problems that he won't address.