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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to talk to my neighbour about her party invite?

10 replies

Yambabe · 30/04/2015 09:52

Neighbours are having a party this Sat to celebrate a significant anniversary. Local hired room with buffet and bar type of affair. They invited us about 3 months ago. DH sees them more often than me so I put it on the calendar and asked him to RSVP that we would go.

Since then we have turned down a couple of other events, including one (ticketed) one that I would have really liked to have gone to that has now sold out.

Bumped into neighbour in Asda yesterday, congratulated her on the anniversary and asked if she was looking forward to the party and everything ready. Yes she says, all sorted with numbers etc, sorry you aren't able to come. Bit stunned, so much so I didn't reply.

Got home, asked DH if he had spoken to neighbour after they invited us? No he says, I forgot, but we can still go to the party they won't mind. Can't get through to him that if they have catered for certain numbers we can't just rock up with a present! He just doesn't get the ettiquette involved at all.

To be fair, they probably wouldn't mind if we turned up but it might mess up their numbers. I can't decide whether to go round later and laugh about DH being a moron and ask if we can we still come, or would that be putting her on the spot too much?

DH just doesn't get why it's an issue, aaargh!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 30/04/2015 09:55

I would go around and apologise that your DH didn't reply to the invitation.

Then if there's room (and she's not too pissed off) she'll probably invite you again.

I wouldn't ask though as that might put her on the spot.

Bunbaker · 30/04/2015 09:56

I don't understand why you delegated the reply to your husband. My husband has a brain like a sieve so I would have just replied myself.

I also, don't understand why you didn't say anything to your neighbour in the supermarket. By not saying anything your neighbour would have taken that as confirmation that you weren't going.

formerbabe · 30/04/2015 09:58

Yes she says, all sorted with numbers

If she said that then you can't go now! She obviously took your silence as you not being able to come. I'd pretend to her that I couldn't make it but apologise profusely for not rsvping and say you thought your dh had informed her and he thought you had told her...give her a bottle of wine...job done.

Nolim · 30/04/2015 10:00

I would not go and kill the hussnd instead.

Toooldtobearsed · 30/04/2015 10:00

Personally, I would fib.

Just pop around and say 'neighbour, you really threw me the other day in Asda, your party has been on our calendar for ages! I have spoken to OH and he thought I had RSVP'd and I thought he had!
So sorry for the cock up, I just wanted you to know that we would have loved to come to your party'.

Then see what she says

TrollshaveLittleWillies · 30/04/2015 10:01

Your DH was daft but you would have thought the neighbour would have simply asked again. If I were you I would get your DH to apologise and I wouldn't get him to ask if you can still come. It's not a big deal really and there is no need for any ill feeling. Are you close enough to go out for a drink with them to celebrate another time?

madreloco · 30/04/2015 10:02

She said sorry you can't come and you didn't reply at all? Thats kinda weird, and must have been awkward for her. If I were you Id get over there and apologise first for your rudeness in ignoring her invitation and secondly for your rudeness in person!

FeijoaSundae · 30/04/2015 10:02

Most men are perfectly capable of RSVPing to an invitation, after all it's not that intellectually taxing, and most men aren't actually stupid, so there's nothing strange about the OP 'delegating' it to her DH.

Agree with Worra - I'd just go round an apologise.

ClumsyNinja · 30/04/2015 10:07

Definitely go round and apologise in person (with flowers?). Your poor neighbour will be thinking you didn't want to go and couldn't even be bothered to confirm it with her.

Even if she hasn't got the room to accommodate you now, at least it will clear the air.

YaTalkinToMe · 30/04/2015 10:08

Get your DH to go round and explain.

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