I'm not a new member but i forgot my old login details so made a new account, not sure if this is against the rules if so MNHQ please message me and i'll give whatever info i can on my old account to see if you guys can trace it and close it down...anyhow. back to the OP. I'm in an unusual situation here, i met someone in January and very quickly fell pregnant due to contraception failure. I'm now 13 weeks pregnant with his child.
When we found out i was pregnant (Sometime toward the end of feb) we agreed to make a go of things as a couple. however shortly after i realised he still has issues from past relationships (the last one ending almost 2 years ago) where he was treated like crap, controlled, cheated on etc etc etc. all that bad stuff. It got to the point where he was taking it out on me, now i wont say he was abusive (he never laid a hand on me and his outbursts are few and far between) but when he has an outburst it all goes to shit, Ive had difficulty quitting smoking for example (but have managed to cut down considerably and stopped drinking aside from half a glass of wine, twice on two separate occasions) prepares for flaming
just a few weeks ago he flipped out at me, followed me to the train station where i was going to get a train home, shouted at me, took my tobacco off me and ripped my unlit cigarette out of my mouth, then proceeded to take my bag so i couldnt buy more and then followed me back outside of the train station and had a go at me outside, shouting in my face in front of loads of people (the street was packed with cars and people going in and out of the station so hardly a few) said i was killing our child and if it died to not come crying to him because it would be all my fault.
On another occasion he said he loved me then later retracted it (then whined about the fact i walked out and didnt talk to him for over a week O.o).. he can be very cold and detached, unaffectionate and is not the most open of people. despite all of this when we are just messing around or whatever we are very great together and when he is more open and affectionate everything is perfect. he got drunk last week at a work do (first time ive seen him drunk) and broke down crying when we got to his, stating that he was sorry for the way he treats me and hes just scared and worried that i will be the same as his exes or he wont be good enough for me, I didnt know what to do so just held him throughout all of this and we talked about it again the next day, He said the same while sober.
Throughout all of this I've been left feeling hurt, angry and a tad confused. He's either lovely, colder than a beer on ice or so angry that i genuinely get scared. i know this isn't right and isn't fair, not on me, not on our child and not on him.
AIBU to say/think "Nah, fuck this, We've been doing this for a few months and you're already looking a bit nuts id find a nicer way of saying that , why should i have to graft to make this work and sort YOUR issues when we can just split and co parent?"
WWYD?