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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to introduce a dummy at four months?

24 replies

LorraineQuiche · 29/04/2015 13:02

Hello

My baby is four months old today and I'm thinking about introducing a dummy. Baby is exclusively breastfed and has never had one, but yesterday I tried one to help calm her and It helped a lot. Baby hates and has always hated going out in her pram and cries for the entire trip. It's difficult to do anything - even pop to the shops and it's starting to make me feel very isolated and upset. AIBU to introduce a dummy for journeys out and has anyone used a dummy for just this with success and was it easy to give up when the baby is a bit older? Or should I just be patient and hope things get easier? She's fine in a sling but I can't use one regularly as it hurts my back. Im worried using a dummy will be addictive and difficult to give up. I have nothing against dummies but just feel like baby has gone for so long without one that I feel nervous to use one.

Any other tips or ideas for making leaving the house would be really appreciated. Baby is facing me and I've tried the carrycot and pushchair laying almost flat with a head hugger.

Thank to xx

OP posts:

Original poster

LorraineQuiche · 29/04/2015 13:04

Whoops autocorrect failed

OP posts:

tiredvommachine · 29/04/2015 13:06

Don't fight it, sounds like she wants the comfort.
You might find she starts sucking her fingers/thumb instead and in my opinion, that's much harder to give up than a dummy.
Good luck

Original poster

LorraineQuiche · 29/04/2015 13:09

Thank you

OP posts:

MNHQ

BeccaMumsnet · 29/04/2015 13:59

Hi everyone - we're just going to pop this over to AIBU for the OP.

hibbledibble · 29/04/2015 14:10

Don't feel guilty about using one if it helps.

However as you say she is happy in slings why not try to find one that works for your back? Try a local sling meet?

LittleBairn · 29/04/2015 14:11

Do it, its not worth becoming isolated over.

InYearAdmissions · 29/04/2015 14:13

I did when my DD was 4 months old, helped a lot.

But then I got rid at 8 months when I was getting up half a dozen times a night to put it back in her mouth!

DoJo · 29/04/2015 14:27

It's worth a try, but don't place too much importance on it as some babies simply won't take one! If it works and you are both happy, that's the most important thing. Good luck!

BigFatFurryCatPuss · 29/04/2015 14:35

I did when DD1 was 4 months and started teething.

DixieNormas · 29/04/2015 14:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flowerygirl · 29/04/2015 14:47

Go for it and don't feel bad!

My DD had a dummy and absolutely loved it, I was worried I'd never wrestle it off her. Then she started crawling, spat it out and seemed utterly repulsed by them. So that was the end of it.

She now sucks her thumb though

Allstoppedup · 29/04/2015 14:50

Gave one to DS at about this age as he was comfort suckling NONE STOP and I was exhausted!

He had it during the day for a few months if he got really upset/ I wasn't in a position to feed him and now (16 months) he only has it at night time occasionally but isn't really that bothered about it so we will phase it out totally soon!

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 29/04/2015 14:50

I can understand why you might want to but I always think dummies are one of those things that just cause a million problems later on. Like pp said getting up to put them back in all night then weaning them.

Obviously do it you're in your knees and enjoy the peace.

CapnMurica · 29/04/2015 15:39

None of my three would have a dummy.

But one sucks his thumb. You can cut up a dummy but you can't cut off a thumb!

I say do it. There are loads of strategies for getting them off it, and seriously, you need to think of yourself as being part of a family and not just baby. So look after yourself as well.

Original poster

LorraineQuiche · 29/04/2015 18:49

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling much more positive about dummies

OP posts:

notanotherbloodyname · 29/04/2015 18:53

What kind of sling do you have?

A good sling should never hurt your back and definitely not at 4 months!

If it's a Baby Bjorn style sling (I think there are other brands now that are similar) please consider ditching it. They do not distribute weight correctly, thus causing back pain and they are not good for babies either.

susiey · 29/04/2015 19:20

I introduced a dummy at 8 months and it transformed her sleep. She's 3 next month and we just removed it and she was fine.
It was like a magic sleep cue for naps - best thing we ever did!

PrimroseEverdeen · 29/04/2015 19:24

Do it!

If she doesn't like the pram, it may be that she is too old to be lying flat unless sleeping. Do you have a stroller attachment for your travel system? She will probably be a lot happier if she is propped up and can see what is going on.

ElphabaTheGreen · 29/04/2015 19:25

Being EBF, she may well go into dummy refusal at some point and save you any weaning bother. DS2 gave up on dummies at bang-on six months, after using them from six weeks. Considered himself far too mature for such things, obviously.

Original poster

LorraineQuiche · 29/04/2015 20:39

It's a Baby Bjorn - I didn't realise how awful for back & baby they are until I'd already destroyed my back. I've bought a wrappy sling but haven't had a chance to figure it out properly!

I've converted the pram into pushchair mode and am using a head support but it made little difference from carry cot.

I took cutie babe out in the pram (dummy packed in bag) this afternoon with a new toy running along the bumper bar and she was very relaxed and happy. Very strange as she usually isn't interested in toys when she is in the pram but played with it for the whole trip out. Maybe me being more relaxed (with dummy in bag) rubbed off

Thanks everyone

OP posts:

Musicaltheatremum · 29/04/2015 20:45

I used dummy for number 2 (boy) otherwise I would have run away. I was depressed and he just would not settle (except when my mother in law rocked him all afternoon in his bouncy chair and commented how calm he was and why was I fussing but that's another story) he gave it up during the day at about 8 months once he could crawl and gave it up at night when he was 3. My nanny took if from him and he was fine but took great pleasure the next evening saying he didn't need it when she was here but did when I was. Sadly, I told him, his nanny had taken it to give it to someone who needed it more (yuck) but it worked.

Original poster

LorraineQuiche · 29/04/2015 21:17

Sounds like we'll be fine to have an emergency dummy. See you in nine months for tips how to remove it

Gee whizz I love mumsnet. I no longer have weird guilt

OP posts:

LokiBear · 29/04/2015 21:27

Just do it. We used a dummy with colicky dd. Withdrew it at 9 months when dd started to talk and used it only at nap/sleep times. DD gave it up completely at 2.5. We had no issues with it whatsoever and it comforted her when she needed it.

TwosaCrowd · 29/04/2015 21:33

DS1 wouldn't have one, but DS2 (8mo) has one and it's literally the.best.thing.ever. He never gets to that screaming hysterical point of crying when you literally can't pick him up because you're in the car/getting dressed for the school run/about to burn dinner, because I have this little magical thing that keeps him a happy, chilled out lovely little baby.

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