to be feeling a little sad

[devon004]

Ok so it was my birthday yesterday. I received lots of birthday wishes on the dreaded fsacebook and cards and gifts from close family and friends.
However, a friend who I believed to be close eg we were bridesmaids for each other has yet again failed to acknowledge my birthday. Admittedly we now live on different continents but surely a simple happy birthday txt or fb messavge would be nice. I always do that for her.
aibu to think our friendship has run its course as any contact now is not exactly positive. Eg satky responses to other posts etc

She may not reply to any of those birthday reminders? If you have 3/400 friends you are probably getting them fairly frequently.

i try not to 'expect' things in this way as it makes me unhappy too.

Be a friend because you want to not to get something.
If you feel the friendship is over in other ways just ignore.

I guess I judt feel that you shouldn't need a reminder for a close friend. I Guess we are just not thst close anymore.

I wouldn't end a friendship because they forgot my birthday. I just feel honoured that anyone remembers and makes an effort and I don't start thinking about who didn't notice. Really doesn't bother me.

However - the sarky comments on your posts? That would be the thing to piss me off. Maybe your friendship has run its course.

physical distance plays havoc with friendships sometimes! Did you move or did she? How long have you known her?

Why is she being sarky?

Happy birthday btw

it was my fortieth this year i had not one message on facebook wishing me happy birthday made me quite sad too some of these people ive known for forty years! the rest for thirty plus

She moved. Been friends for thirty years. Guess our lives have just taken different routes.

Thank you

I dunno. I'm pretty bad with birthdays. If she's good in other ways is not fret, but if she's letting you down generally just let go.

Crickey I'd have no friends left if I dropped those who forgot mine or was dropped by those whose birthdays I forgot! Really? Are you 8?

I never respond to Facebook reminders for birthdays and I don't have my birthday on there either- I think it's really fake and quite meaningless. I will send a card/ message to a close friend.

That said, equally I don't mind if someone doesn't say happy birthday to me in another way either. People's lives are super busy and birthdays are just not that important for some people. If she is a good friend the rest of the time I wouldn't let it bother you. Friendships have different levels and paths as life goes on- it seems silly to end one over something so minor to me.

It's OK to feel a little sad, it is your birthday after all. However these things happen, people have busy lives.
As for FB, I always respond to the birthday message but that's just me. I don't celebrate my own birthday but I like to wish my friends a happy birthday.

Tbh though the only contact we have is through facebook. I always try to show interest in her life but she doesn't seem to do the same. She only seems to comment occasionally and than its normally a bit of a put down. I could be being oversensitive of course. We cannot afford to visit and when she returns home she never has time too visit.

Blimey. I have a close friend of over 30 yrs. She's virtually a member of our family. Her children and ours are like cousins. We're always there for each other. However this year, we laughed because I actually managed to send a card for her birthday. One of the very few over the last 30 years. Likewise with her.

However, I've been by her side when her dd had a heart OP. She's supported me through funerals and breakdowns.....birthdays are no measure.

I think you sound a bit junvenile about it.

Op, is it possible that the fact she's not wished you a Happy birthday is just the last in a long line of ways in which you feel you've grown apart?

If it were me, I'd have been more upset about the sarky comments- but that's me.

Sadly, maybe it is time you re-evaluated your friendship with her?

Different people have different attitudes to birthdays. I have wonderful friends who won't remember on the day- but it sounds like this is part of a bigger problem.

Is the friendship honestly one sided? If so, time to reevaluate sadly.

The birthday thing is a red herring - the 'friendship', such as it is, is no longer making you happy and the lack of birthday message is a symptom of that, not a cause.

I think I am coming to realise that she is quite self absorbed and we have little in common. One to let go I think. Yes birthday thing is not the whole issue.

I got loads of texts on my birthday. I couldn't have told you the date of most of the senders' birthdays because I'm useless at remembering stuff like that. But they're all still friends I think a lot of.