To think the Great Key Mystery does not need solving?

[Dorotheawasright]

Have NC for this. I post (mainly in adult fiction) and lurk regularly.

AIBU about the Great Key Mystery of 2015?

DH and I had his family for lunch during the Easter weekend. Party included DBIL (DH's brother who is separated from his wife), his two children DNeice (10) and DNephew (7) and DFIL. (We don't have children. DH has 2 children from his previous marriage who are grown up).

I am in a the small minority of very lucky MNetters that I really like DH's family.

We had an Easter Egg hunt all over the house followed by lunch and walk. BIL and his children left with FIL. They went to FIL house for a short time before heading home.

After everyone had left and we were tidying up (well DH was tidying I was enjoying the cook's prerogative and having some (wine), DH noticed that the key to what I will call a trinket box was missing.

To explain this is quite a sturdy wooden box about the size of a jewellery box but without any compartments. It has a key about 3/4 of the size of a Yale front door key. The box contains a number of items of sentimental value to DH. It is on a chest of drawers in the sitting room. The Key sits in the lock.

So DH notices the key was missing and the box was locked. DH texts BIL who is at FILs by this point to ask if either of his children had accidentally taken the key. BIL is a bit defensive and says that he has asked DNeice and DNephew and they say they had not.

Over the course of the next week we discover that we cannot pick the lock without damaging the box.

After Easter FIL went away walking with friends. FIL speaks regularly to DH and so was aware of the Great Key Mystery.

Fast forward to yesterday. FIL who has recently returned telephones to say he has found a key in the toilet bowl of his loo. He fishes it out and by description he gives it is The Key.

What DH thinks happened is that DNephew took the key, lied when asked by BIL and then tries to flush it away at FIL house. DH thinks BIL Should Be Told. His rationale that if one of his children had done this he would want to know. He also, I think, wants to know what happened.

I think that: (1) it is unfair to blame DNephew as it could have been his sister or another explanation; (2) as there was an Easter Egg hunt it wasn't unreasonable for the children to open the trinket box to see if there were eggs inside (there weren't) and that if that was a problem we should have moved it; (3) I think that BIL will be defensive and it will cause unnecessary hassle.

Added to this is the fact that BIL has an EOW and 1/2 holidays arrangements with his children (he has a superb relationship with his ex). I've noticed since the separation that BIL is less strict on behaviour with the children then he was when I used to see them all together. So I doubt he would speak to DNephew about it in any event.

So in a nutshell: does DH raise this? Or do we let sleeping keys lie?

It's over and done with, the child who took it probably absentmindedly put it in his pocket in the excitement of the egg hunt then panicked when he realised he still had it. Let sleeping keys lie.

Check if anything is missing from the box first. If it is, well then you have no choice but to raise the subject matter again. If there isn't, it would cause more harm than it was worth to insist on finding out the truth of the matter.

It'd be a tough one to assume the key was accidentally pocketed if it's normally known to be there. But maybe next time temptation has to be removed from curious children. It's in their nature to want to know what is in the locked box. And when the key is there... Well they had the perfect opportunity in an egg hunt to sneak a peak.

How do you know BIL was defensive though, if a text was sent to them. It may be he read the text as accusing rather than casually asking. Especially if his style of disciplining has been picked up on by others too.

In a nutshell, the key is back so unless anything is missing, drop the matter. It will come out in the end, maybe when the dc are older and go "you remember what happened..."

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you should have moved the box. Young children hunting all over the house for eggs, of course they're going to be drawn to a locked box. He should have moved anything valuable before they arrived. He can mention it to BIL but I doubt BIL will ask his children again. I'd chalk it up to experience, you got the key back so why is he still whining?

How old are the children?

I wouldn't necessarily say anything to the Dad, but depending on the age of the children raise it nicely, and lightly, with them next time they visited.

"We have a magic key, it went all the way to Grandad's loo by itself."

I'd them explain how precious the box is and ask them not to touch it.,

Doesn't have to be all heavy and a row just quietly make the point.

(Unless they are 2yo of course )