To think we need to tighten our borders and adopt the Australian points system for new entrants to

[HoneyDragon]

Mumsnet?

I really thing it could make a positive difference to the stand up hardworking at waffling Mumsnetters that give their time and support to this site in our current political climate?

Instant deportation to all of those who didn't read the OP properly on this thread

There's a few instant bans on this thread already

Posting links to the DM - - 50 points.

Saying you don't read the DM but posting links to the DM - 1000 points

Being a journalist from the DM. Instant ban

Anyone who cries personal attack at being told to RTFT when they haven't read the thread - stand in the corner (minute for every year of age) and think about what they have done.

Anyone who uses * instead of letters for swear words - made to write out "I will not be such a wankbadger in future" 100 times.

Anyone receiving one of my punishments gets -100 points.

Being Mathew Wright ... Death - it's only fair

Lol at death

Matthew Wright researchers can legitimately claim asylum though, yes?

Shamelessly marking my place so I can keep coming back to read the replies from the posters who didn't read the actual first post. Snort...

We need Maryz spreadsheet.

Would it mean I got deported to Netmums?

People who say that others shouldn't post a thread about something because other people have it far worse. - 200 points

ghosty I think death is too lenient in this instance.

I always thought the weather on Mumsnet was warm but occasionally turbulent HappyBubbleBrain. But not miserable.

Minus 10,000 points if your IP address matches those of any political party head office.

Why, in Australia if you use the word 'hun' you are immediately sent off-site to a third-party domain host and held there indefinitely

Australia sounds like the place for me! Where do I join Australian Mumsnet?

Minus 1000 points for people who whinge that their right to free speech is being infringed just because someone disagrees with them.

Also minus 1000 points for "It's my opinion and I'm entitled to express it".

tortoise well I do hate to say it but I've heard whispers that the OP is actually called dragon mjalte...

Oh and minus 50k points to those posting arseholian comments without RTFT

Aha! You see? Hiding your identity documentation is CLEAR PROOF OF GUILT.

Op: AIBU
Entire thread: Yes you are
Op: no I'm not!

-100 points

Op: AIBU
Entire thread: Yes you are
Op: no I'm not! My friend / cousin / dog was right - you are all horrible jealous people!

-1000 points

Op: AIBU
Entire thread: Yes you are
Op: no I'm not! Oh and did I mention that as well as gently suggesting that I use baby wipes on PFB's bum rather than cotton wool my MIL is part of a devil worshiping group that likes to sacrifice babies on the day they turn 6 months. PFB is 6 months on Thursday and MIl has asked if she can have him for a sleepover.

-10000 points

Op: AIBU
Entire thread: Yes you are
Op: Oh - ok then. Guess I'd better go and apologise to MIL then! Thanks!

Indefinite leave to remain!

Posting AIBUs which aren't AIBUs

AIBU to ask if you like chocolate?

AIBU to ask if you own a dog?

-1000 points

Replying to these with Of course you're not BU to ask, why would it BU to ask such a question - immediate entry

Any thread designed to make parents feel shit about their feeding choices/sleeping choices/pushchair choices = -1,000,000,000 points!

Bonus points to HoneyDragon for demonstrating that some people don't even RTFOP.

Hq please can we add these rules on the list ^^
And can you actually make them rules with enforcements especially the RTFT and Matthew Wright ones

Points awarded for:

Appropriate use of sarcasm / irony

Demonstrably useful knowledge or extreme wisdom and willingness to share it.

Near perfect memory of 80's kids tv shows.

Agreeing with me