Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends being rude at a party AIBU?

47 replies

Toofewshoes · 27/04/2015 10:12

A good friend had her 40th birthday party on Saturday night. She had hired a room at the back of a bar for a disco and laid on free booze (up to a point). Lots of our friends were there and as the birthday girl loves to dance we were all having a great time on the dancefloor (round an invisible handbag). The only downer on the evening was a couple of our 'friends' who stood next to where we were dancing watching, whispering and laughing. They were making us feel self conscious and acting if they were too cool to be dancing. At one point the birthday girl asked them to join in and they declined. They then went up to the DJ and got him to stop the record he was playing and we were dancing to, and put something on that was deemed cool enough. They then did a bit of a shuffle. These are grown up women who were behaving like teenagers and were being rude to the birthday girl when she had gone to such effort and expense to organise the party. I will see them at pick up today and hope that they don't say anything bitchy. One of them I thought was a good friend of mine but I think I will be giving her a wide berth in future.

Rant over, sorry.

OP posts:
NickiFury · 27/04/2015 11:00

But would you stand there taking the piss and request the music be changed mid track hellkitty?

PlumpingThePartTimeMother · 27/04/2015 11:00

I've done the mum dance since I was 17 HellKitty! Only type I can do Grin it sounds like the other women made it all about dancing 'well' whereas op and her friends just wanted to be silly and dance together. Not a problem except that the other women hung around watching and sneering - that's not kind.

NickiFury · 27/04/2015 11:02

Not only that the OP has stated that they were not dancing to bad pop, which is surely a matter of opinion anyway isn't it?

Original poster
Toofewshoes · 27/04/2015 11:03

Hellkitty - No shuffley mum dancing. We were cutting some shapes (only joking), no bad chart 'pop'. They were just rude.

OP posts:
HellKitty · 27/04/2015 11:03

No way Nicki! And I'd probably end up having too many beers and doing a full on Legs & Co by the end.

I have had that face on though, when being asked to dance and I'm stood at the side thinking 'no way am I getting up for this crap!!!'. I'd make sure that it was bitching and nothing else, it does seem to have gone from the initial post about feeling self conscious to them now giggling and bitching.

singlikethepianoMargot · 27/04/2015 11:04

YANBU. I know a group of people like this. I have stopped socialising with them cos I am fed up with being mocked. Other people have noticed so it isn't me being paranoid. They seem to have some kind of joint consciousness and they will only join in with anything if they all agree it's cool enough. Tedious.

elbowsdontsing2 · 27/04/2015 11:15

so she runs with the hare and the hounds id give her a wide birth if i was you

ChaiseLounger · 27/04/2015 16:01

Not sure what to make of this one. They could've been laughing in a nasty way. For a DJ to change a song mid record is weird.

I am a big dancer and dance to almost all music but if I don't like a song, no one will force me to dance. And I hate being kazjooled linto it.

Goldenbear · 27/04/2015 16:58

And you say they requested 'this' song because they're 'cool'?

ImperialBlether · 27/04/2015 17:04

I think everyone knows when women are laughing at them, rather than laughing in a normal conversation between themselves.

FarFromAnyRoad · 27/04/2015 17:12

So who raised this shoddy lack of professionalism with the DJ and what was his explanation?

Mousefinkle · 27/04/2015 17:19

My mum uses the term 'dancing around your handbag' Grin, I like it.

Anyway, yanbu. They sound like teenagers.

finnbarrcar · 27/04/2015 17:29

This happened to me at a local fund raising ladies night recently. They're usually a great laugh and me and my friends love dancing to "women's pish" as we call it but there was a bitchy unpleasant vibe at this one and I saw a couple of them sniggering at us. The only track they got up for was uptown funk. Cunts Grin

Golferman · 27/04/2015 17:44

Based on all the stories I read on Mummset why are women friends with other women? All you hear about is bitchiness and judging * shakes head in bewilderment.

Original poster
Toofewshoes · 27/04/2015 18:40

Goldenbear - something that they deemed cool enough for them to dance to. Not that we were dancing to Aqua before.

ImperialBlether - I think you are right, we knew it.

Mousefinkle - Thanks. I have never actually seen someone dance round their handbag. But I might give it a go next time I am at the same party as these women.

finnbarrcar - Sad

Golferman - I have some lovely women friends. I just think that men are better at totally cutting off men they don't like much. Some woman seem to like to make the women they don't like feel small.

OP posts:
Theycallmemellowjello · 27/04/2015 19:05

YABVVU and sound paranoid and controlling tbh. Obviously laughing at other people is not on, but I just don't see how you can know what they were talking about - presumably there was music playing. Isn't it more likely that they were just laughing and talking to each other because they were at a party? They are not likely to have been whispering if music was playing but they probably leaning into each other's ears as so they could be heard. And they were watching the dancefloor because it's the focal point of the party. Watching people on the dancefloor is hardly a breach of ettiquette. Nor is having a conversation and laughing. Nor is not wanting to dance - even if that's because you want to look cool. Come to that, not sure I get the problem with wanting to look cool - surely most people want to look cool insofar as they put nice clothes on and try not to look like a total twat when they go out?

The only unreasonable thing in this story is you going out and forcing people who were not keen on dancing to dance.

Theycallmemellowjello · 27/04/2015 19:10

Ah sorry, i made the bit up about being forced to dance - v sorry. But I still think you're massively jumping to conclusions and that they haven't actually done anything wrong.

cleanmyhouse · 27/04/2015 19:16

You are not being VVVU and don't sound controlling or paranoid tbh.

AyMamita · 27/04/2015 21:43

YANBU, they sound like dicks! I would have said something PA like "aw, had you practised dancing to that song specially? Bless you, you even stayed on the beat for most of it" Grin

balletnotlacrosse · 27/04/2015 21:51

YANBVVU. People standing around the dance floor sniggering and laughing are a PITA. If you don't want to dance then don't, just sit down and have a drink and let the dancers get on with it and basically GROW UP!

paddyclampo · 27/04/2015 22:31

OK will someone please explain to me what the shuffly mum dance is?!!?

BakewellSlice · 27/04/2015 22:34

I miss dancing around handbags.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page