to spend 2 hours at the gym whilst dh is hard at work

[devon004]

Ok so another thread got me thinking. I am a sahm to 3dc. 2 at school and one toddler who is with me full time. Dh works long hours and has a medical condition which means he does very little around the house. He used to do some diy and gardening but recently he has been unable to motivate himself to do it. Plus some things are physically hard to do. He e does do a little cooking and washing up but that is about it. I also do all night wakings etc.
Now I have found a gym which offers a free creche so I have been going almost every day since March and I feel fantastic. I need to lose weight and I have Ibs and I understand excercise is beneficial for this condition.
so aibu to go to the gym for 2 hours per day whilst dh is at work and dd3 is being cared for in a creche. Obviously some days/ weeks I will go much less cue to other commitments.
So aibu

Can I just ask, if he manages to work long hours and go to football.. why cant he help in the house???

Every day seems a bit much as its ten hours in childcare when a parent is not earning to do that very role.

However if your DH gets that much free time to himself and doesn't mind paying then it's upto you.

I imagine that you continue in your role of SAHM pretty much 16+ hours of every day, yes? In which case, taking a meagre two hours off to actually have your own life, relax, stay healthy and enjoy yourself is not remotely unreasonable. I take 1-2 hours most days to exercise, and I work full time too. It's a normal thing for adults to do, and everyone just fits it into their schedules as best suits them. Any guilt would probably be because you feel you should be "on duty", but as I said, you're on duty all the time as a SAHM, so it really doesn't matter which hours you allocate to yourself.

Littlemonstersrule - if the OP is paying monthly and the crèche is part of the gym package, surely it makes more sense for her to go as often as possible to get value for money? I'm also rather about you saying "if her DH doesn't mind paying" - it's not her DH's money to allocate or approve spending, it's family money to which the OP is perfectly entitled. If her DH disagrees that the gym is a fair way for her to spend some of it, then they can have an adult conversation about budgets and reach a mutually agreed solution. Not for her DH to allow or disallow.

yanbu.

2hrs isn't that long if it includes settling at the creche, getting changed and showered afterwards. although I'm sure you can speed it up a bit once you get a routine.

you need to take care of your health if your dh has health problems.

Also it is unlikely to be every day. I can't always get in every day and some days we have medical appts etc. He gets home and is exhausted but maybe he could do more
o and it would cost the same whether I went once for an hour or 6 times a week for 2 hours.

I also don't think 10 hours childcare is excessive. If I was on benefits or dh had a low income my child would get more hours in early years education.

I'm glad to see this thread. I think there can be guilt attached to gym-going, but it's irrational. But also persistent. It feels like me-time, like pampering or something. I agree with all the others who say it's bloody essential and best use of your time, but I understand the irrational niggle of guilt. Banish it! I will try to do the same...

Wow 'if your Dh doesn't mind paying'

Sorry I obviously logged on to mumsnet1950s.com

No yanbu. My dd goes to nursery 2 mornings a week, partly because she needs the social aspect but also partly so I can go to the gym/for a run.

I have bipolar II and mainly suffer depressive bouts. I am ok medicated but I cannot take my medication while ttc or breastfeeding. Therefore I've been med free since trying for dd almost 3.5 years ago.

I manage my condition with exercise and a decent diet (I know I am very lucky and that many people with my condition cannot go without meds despite doing exercise and good diet)

Can anybody clearly state what might be unreasonable about going to the gym during their partner's working day?

Well he probably has a large part of the weekend free and evenings when I M still rushi g zround so on balance I probably have less free time.

I am still rushing around.

So long as your family can afford the gym membership, and you still have time to fit in everything else you need to do, I don't see how it could be considered unreasonable.

Good for you! Go for it, you deserve some me time because you work just as hard as your DH.

I'm jealous, but if you have found a way to ensure you and your DH get fair leisure time that you are both happy with and that the crèche is suitable then I guess (begrudgingly) YANBU

Actually it strikes me as sensible to do your hobby during the working day. That way you are around to look after the dc in the evenings or at the weekend when your dh might want to spend time on his hobby. Surely it's win-win for everyone?

YANBU. I would definitely go the the gym quite often if I was in your situation. I'm quite looking forward to the summer holidays as DH (full time student) will be around to look after toddler DD so I can get to the gym a lot more often on my non-work days.

Enjoy it & don't feel guilty about it.

In terms of finances the weeky fee would be covered by taking all dc swimming once. Ok we probably do that 2 weekly or 1 pre school session for youngest. That was how I justifies the expense.