Working from Home blues

[WonderWombat]

Spouse and I now both work largely from home. We have a business together. I also do freelance stuff, as well as some paid work outside the house. The joint business is meant to be mainly him, but he talks to me about all his ideas a very great deal. Yesterday I told him I was tired, and needed a break from all the talk about the business. I had a deadline of my own, and wanted to have a clear head for the work I had to do today.

This morning we woke up and within five minutes he was talking about all his ideas and plans for the business. I thought, okay, we're getting this out of the way. Then we can have a normal breakfast and I can get on with my work. When he'd finished I went downstairs and started making the coffee. Within a couple of minutes he'd followed me down and - as I was grinding the beans - told me about some new scheme he'd come up with in the two minutes when I'd been away from him.

Before breakfast I blew up at him saying I was fed up with his obsessiveness, and the way he never gave me any space, even when I had told him quite clearly that was what I needed.

I am not sure whether he will change though - even if his intentions are good.

Do you think he might respond if you asked him to write up his ideas and email them to you? That way he can still get the ideas 'out' as it were, but you can get to them when you have a minute and not feel as though you are being press-ganged every time you drift into consciousness!

Plan in ideas sessions, get him to record his ideas (as vocalising can be a useful method for some).

It goes without saying that at the moment he is going to be obsessed with his business and he needs to devote a lot of attention to it. You need to schedule in some specific 'no business' time, e.g. agree not to talk shop when you're having dinner.

The business has been going for about 18 months, so the initial set-up period is over.

I suppose I just feel very trapped, having said repeatedly on previous occasions that him just talking at me, at absolutely any point during the day is too much.

I suppose I'll have to have another go. The writing things down idea is a good one.

Can he join some sort of business group or an office hub set up and bore someone else

I work at home, DP goes off to a different job. We have a rule never, ever to discuss work in the morning before he leaves. We each need the mental space to wind up to the day's business without serious distractions.
In the evening though we usual discuss business and throw out ideas. But I suspect it would be different if we worked together.

Does your DP have anyone else he can talk to about work?

My OH and I both work from home although not together. He's a freelance translator so working mainly alone, I have a salaried job and work in a team with several colleagues, albeit spread out round the world. I get to talk through work stuff with colleagues via weekly teleconferences, phone calls etc as well as physically visiting the head office once a month or so. DH doesn't get any of that regular contact with other human beings, so he does use me as a sounding board. Sometimes this is fine and even quite interesting but sometimes I find myself switching off and not listening. It doesn't annoy me though as I understand why he does it.

He's agreed that what he did - talking business last night before we went to sleep and then beginning again when we woke up - was too much.

We did used to have a business mentor, and it was helpful to have a third person.

The business itself is quite a niche thing and I think he does need my help and support. But I just can't/won't do it 24/7.