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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think an 8 year old can shower by herself?

52 replies

Sansarya · 26/04/2015 09:03

I was watching my cousin's 8yo after school a little while ago and she (the child) asked me to supervise her while she had a shower. I was in the middle of something and said I couldn't but showed her where everything in the bathroom was, gave her a towel, and she had a shower.

My cousin, when she picked her up, was a bit miffed to hear this as she still bathes her. Admitted this cousin does like to keep her kids close to her - her daughter still shares her bedroom and her older daughter wasn't allowed to have her own room til she was 14 - but WIBU to think that 8 is old enough to shower alone?

OP posts:
mousmous · 26/04/2015 09:50

my 8yo can, but needs nagging reminders or will 'sit in the rain' for an hour.
will bath on their own quite happily though.

Aeroflotgirl · 26/04/2015 09:51

Yes my ds 3.3years likes to shower himeself, and can do his shampoo. My dd 8 who has ASD and dev delay needs help with washing.

Feminine · 26/04/2015 09:51

Sorry, just saw you said "showers"
However, aren't you concerned she could slip?

m0therofdragons · 26/04/2015 09:52

Depends on the child. Last year an 11 year old in our village died in the bath - just slipped, banged her head and drowned. No sen or medical issues just a horrible accident round here I imagine most of us still bath our dc.my dd1 is 7. She washes herself but I do her hair and I'm usual in the bath room or at least on the middle floor with the bathroom door open so I can hear her. Mind you, most of the time she still likes to bath with her 3yo sisters so I would never leave them unattended.

Tbh it's one of those things in life that doesn't matter if someone does it differently. Why do you even care? Everyone parents differently.

lexie3 · 26/04/2015 09:57

YANBU, my 8yo and 5yo DD's shower themselves (although sometimes the 5yo doesn't get all of the shampoo/conditioner out). As for the room sharing, that's just odd.

flora717 · 26/04/2015 10:32

My 7 year old might want her goggles, but she's been showering alone since 5. Not an unreasonable expectation!

WyfOfBathe · 26/04/2015 10:36

I needed help washing my hair until I was about 10 but I would call my mum into the bathroom when I was ready to wash my hair - she didn't stay in through the whole shower. I certainly wouldn't have wanted someone who wasn't my mum to be there while I showered.

It does seem odd that the 8yo isn't allowed her own room though.

AuntyMag10 · 26/04/2015 10:39

She sounds smothering and controlling, poor kids.

TeenAndTween · 26/04/2015 10:41

My DD is 10 and she is perfectly capable of showering and bathing herself. however she still likes company when she is in the bath!

AmyElliotDunne · 26/04/2015 10:57

My dd is 8. I usually run the shower for a minute to warm it up for her before she gets in as I do for myself, but then let her get on with it.

She is capable of showering by herself, but tbh she dawdles, doesn't really get on with the business of getting washed for ages and when she does, she doesn't always wash/rinse her hair as well as I would like.

Her dad always moans that I should be supervising her, but I'd rather she learns to do it herself than have me constantly doing it for her. I do sometimes pop my head round the door and check what she's up to and remind her to wash the important bits!

Mrsjayy · 26/04/2015 11:48

The whole family sound weird does the 20yr old not work or go to college ? Anyway by dds needed help with hairwashing at 8 so i would help them i think showering is the least of this little girls worries tbh

whattodooo · 26/04/2015 11:53

DD is eight and I still put her in the bath with her brother and I just wash both of them then they play.

I wouldn't be at all concerned by that alone (especially if the child was as in your case, in a different house where they might not be unsure of how to use the shower for the temp etc) but agree that the other stuff sounds strange.

treaclesoda · 26/04/2015 11:58

My 8 year old needs help with showering but she has quite severe anxiety issues and finds it hard to be in a shower cubicle. It's hard to explain really. Anyway, I would imagine most of her friends of that age do it themselves. I certainly would hope that my younger child will be able to shower alone at the age of 8.

laughingcow13 · 26/04/2015 12:01

The only thing I would say is that older showers can be quite dangerous with their just being a hair's breadth between ice cold and scalding and even if it is set right can fluctuate a bit for the first few minutes til it reaches equilibrium..When we went on holiday last year (not UK) there was a shower like this and I got properly scalded trying to set it.
t.I insisted on setting it for teh youngest aged 9 .If she has a shower like this at home I think it is reasonable for her to be cautious of using a 'strange shower'

Marmaladedandelions · 26/04/2015 12:16

I still bath my 8 year old. He just needs help with his hair.

momtothree · 26/04/2015 12:21

How many men would be happy to share a bed with a 14 year old? Thats weird.

ScorpioMermaid · 26/04/2015 12:32

I have 8 and the 6 older ones aged 5-13 all shower themselves. I just shout to them, especially the boys, to wash their faces and hair..not just with water.. The girls never need reminding and wash and condition their hair aswell. They younger pair are 19m and 2 and a half and they get washed together by myself, DH or one of the older girls (aged 12 & 13).. 8 is perfectly capable!

Original poster
Sansarya · 26/04/2015 13:00

Mrs, the 20yo both works and studies but her 'stepfather has a job at the same place and drives her to and from work everyday and either he or her mother drops her and picks her up from college too. She is a lovely girl and very talented at what she does and I often wish she could break free of him.

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 26/04/2015 13:08

Sounds like she cant break free its like she is their prisoner what a bloody shame poor girl has no lfe I know this is about an 8yr old and a shower but jesus there is so much more

Pandsala · 26/04/2015 13:58

Yanbu, my 6 year old has been showering by herself for a while, I just have to turn the shower on and off for her as she can't reach the switch.

OP are they sharing a room or a bed?

NickiFury · 26/04/2015 16:05

In this case obviously there's something not right. In general though I think it's ok for an 8 year old to maybe need a bit of help and it's not odd/weird/surprising.

wreckingball · 26/04/2015 18:17

I can't imagine any of my kids wanting a shower at someone else's house after school if I was picking them up later.
They'd wait till they got home and were getting ready for bed.

butterflyballs · 26/04/2015 18:21

I have to do dds hair if we are rushed but otherwise I need to check it's done properly and rinsed out.

She's 9. If left to her own devices would be sat in there for ages and not wash at all.

Piratejones · 26/04/2015 18:30

I'd think an 8 year old would need some help with Hair and things, but just a quick shower should be done by herself.

emwithme · 26/04/2015 19:10

At 8, DN (who would come for a week visit in summer holidays) would shout if/when she needed help with hair rinsing or conditioner or if she needed help changing the temperature, but that's more to do with the dodgy shower than anything else or if she fancied a chat I knew more about 1D than I thought possible

At 9, she was fully able to manage herself but sometimes was still called to talk to her while she was doing so.

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