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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to tell neighbours to f**k off?

25 replies

PBlaarth · 25/04/2015 16:49

This has been annoying me for a while, but today has pissed me off royally, so I'm writing here, naturally!

So, I'm mostly at home, breastfeeding my 3 month old (very fussy at the moment - now having a small break after a 4 hour feeding marathon :-( )

My neighbour has a LOT of parcels and packages delivered, which are actually for her grown son, who doesn't live there. It's for his business. When there's no one home, I get the knock on my door - twice today. I noticed a few weeks ago a note on their front door saying, if no one in, please leave under recycling box, or with neighbour!! Never asked if they could do this, and we are the closest neighbour. I'm getting really fed up with the interruptions, even though mostly I just ignore the knocking.

They are very nice people, and we get on well with them (friendly terms with both sets of neighbours) and there are no other problems, and I don't want to cause a problem by mentioning this because I feel I am being petty. DH doesn't see a problem with it (course he wouldn't, he doesn't get disturbed at awkward moments!).

Am I being unreasonable to put a note on our door to say please do not disturb? Am I being petty by making this a problem in the first place? Are my neighbours BU? At the end of my rope on this!!!
Thanks
xx

OP posts:

LadyOrangutan · 25/04/2015 16:51

Don't bother telling them to fuck off. Just put a note on your door saying that you will not accept deliveries for neighbour.
They'll get the message fast enough

LadyOrangutan · 25/04/2015 16:51

And no YANBU

jerryfudd · 25/04/2015 16:53

If they've done a note then I would too along lines of "please do not disturb, especially if it is a parcel or package for anyone other than this address"

Pippidoeswhatshewants · 25/04/2015 16:54

I would pop over and tell them nicely that you have a small baby and are very sleep deprived at the moment and not able to take any parcels for now. Once you are out of the woods you'll let them know and happily take parcels again.

If this doesn't help put a 'do not disturb' note on your door and/or switch your doorbell off!

Schoolaroundthecorner · 25/04/2015 16:54

If it's constant and they haven't asked then no yanbu. I'd refuse to take the parcels in or not answer the door. If you have a good relationship with them you could explain that it is becoming very disruptive and you'd prefer them to make other arrangements.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 25/04/2015 16:54

Definitely put a note on the door. Bloody annoying having someone bang on your door (Some of them bang like they are the police) When you are feeding or trying to settle a small baby.

thebeesankles · 25/04/2015 17:06

I had the same thing. My neighbour was getting up to 10 parcels a day, some quite large and several actually addressed to his mate! I live in a tiny cottage and was finding myself climbing over his deliveries. He works away a lot and I was having to store them for days at a time and some were really heavy to move (vehicle parts). He had put a note in his window asking the couriers to drop them here!! He never asked me and in fact I had and still have never met him. Dp used to drop them round to him as I was fuming. When he dropped them off last time, dp asked him to make alternative arrangements as it really wasn't working for us. Understatement as I work from home and was being disturbed constantly

If the odd delivery driver calls now (if poor put upon neighbour down the road isn't home) then I just say I'm unable to accept deliveries for him as we keep completely different hours and are never around at the same time to hand them over.

I feel for you, I really do

Iforgottotellyou · 25/04/2015 17:19

I would put a please do not knock with parcels that are not for this address. I used to get this a lot with my sleeping baby and a working neighbour. I finally lost the plot when I had to tiptoe across my wet hallway that I had just mopped, with the post lady grinning at me through the glass door and when I opened it she had a parcel for next door and nothing for me!!

shhhgobacktosleep · 25/04/2015 17:23

YANBU I seem to have become the local parcel depot for my street now including their relatives too who don't even live with their parents and it's seriously peeing me off and I don't even have a young baby. My neighbours (the worst offenders who are often in but just cba to answer their own door) don't even speak to me so haven't asked if this is ok and like you I've seen delivery instructions on parcels stating to leave with me. Despite cards being popped through their door they NEVER come to collect so I am left to keep trying to deliver their parcels to them while storing them all. There is never a simple "thank you" and no one ever takes in a parcel for me if I happen to miss a delivery. I'm going to start saying "no" from next week and you should too.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 25/04/2015 17:24

Definitely a do not disturb sign.

Fluffycloudland77 · 25/04/2015 17:27

I refuse to take things if it's a piss taker.

You can buy parcel drop boxes.

ovumahead · 25/04/2015 17:28

This would drive me absolutely nuts especially if they haven't asked. Definitely stick a note on the door and don't worry about it.

AliceLidl · 25/04/2015 17:30

A note on the door saying "We can no longer accept deliveries or parcels addressed to number 32" or "We will no longer accept any post or deliveries for addresses other than our own" might help.

Also, if you have a regular postman or woman, grab them and tell them that because of the new baby you can't accept anything for your neighbours. They will understand.

PutWittyUsernameHere · 25/04/2015 17:33

I think if you get on with them generally then just pop round and politely ask that they make other arrangements for deliveries. They are being inconsiderate and shouldn't use you as a depot without asking, but falling out with neighbours is not something to be done lightly. I would also out up a notice to inform the delivery drivers that you are not taking parcels for other addresses.

Original poster

PBlaarth · 25/04/2015 17:48

Thanks for replies. I'm not too good at 'confrontations' so I'll probably go for the do not disturb sign.
Thanks for advice.
X

OP posts:

TwoOddSocks · 25/04/2015 18:26

Don't tell them to f* off, they probably have no idea it's bothering you. Just politely let them know you have a fussy baby and you'd rather they directed parcels to other neighbours.

When I had a young baby I had no problem taking other people's packages (the postman always knocked my flat because he knew I was usually in). Likewise if I want a package delivered to the UK (I live abroad) I get it sent to my mum and it sometimes goes to a neighbour. I would hope if it bothered them they'd just politely let us know and we'd leave a note not to bother them.

expatinscotland · 25/04/2015 18:30

Note on door, WE DO NOT ACCEPT DELIVERIES FOR OTHER ADDRESSES. PLEASE DO NOT KNOCK, SMALL BABY SLEEPING.

And turn off your doorbell.

PeppermintCrayon · 26/04/2015 01:40

I say no to parcels for other properties as it's really annoying inconvenient to try and organise collection round our weird work hours. So I just say no. Every. Single. Time. The postie, local Hermes courier etc know not to bother asking now.

however · 26/04/2015 05:30

If you get along with them, and they are, as you say 'nice' people, then they should understand if you explain to them that with a small baby and little sleep, adding parcel delivery into the mix is too much and please could they make other arrangements. By all means tell them to fuck off, but I think that being friendly with your neighbours is preferable.

Congratulations on your new baby. :-)

WLondonMum · 26/04/2015 05:39

I had this when I was 8 months pregnant. Suddenly I had a lot more parcels arriving for one neighbour and when I went to drop them by I noticed a note on their door asking for deliveries to be left with me. I asked them to remove the note and I also told all the delivery drivers (it tended to be the same ones) not to deliver parcels to me. Do leave a note on your door - there is absolutely no reason why you wouldn't!

ConfusedInBath · 26/04/2015 08:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HoneyDragon · 26/04/2015 08:42

Pop round with baby

Hello lovely neighbour, would it be possible for you to arrange something different for your sons parcels? I don't mind the odd one, but since the little ones been born the delivery men are sick of seeing my boobs! Thankyou

That ought to do it

They can't refuse without looking heartless.

Dunkling · 26/04/2015 11:00

I've had this. Taking parcels is one thing, it's neighbourly, and my neighbours are all nice and have taken in the odd one for me too.

But next door at times must have 10 plus parcels in a week. During one school holiday, the only time I get to lie in, I was knocked up by the postie at 7am for a parcel for them. When I told him this was inconsiderate he pointed to their door where they had stuck a note telling all parcels to come to me. No, they hadn't asked and this is the crux! I now take parcels but have no problem saying no when they start to take the p!ss with amounts.

Another neighbour who had lots of parcels delivered to me..... the courier knew I was likely in and knocked on mine regularly, one day texted me to ask if she could actually address a parcel to mine. I said ok. It arrived an hour later! I no longer accepted ANY parcels for her. It's the not asking!

PeachyPants · 26/04/2015 11:25

YANBU I'd put a sign on the door, the problem is even without his note to leave it with a neighbour many delivery drivers will try and leave it with you anyway.

Marynary · 26/04/2015 12:02

YANBU. I don't mind accepting deliveries for neighbours now and then but I would not be at all happy to accept constant parcels for a business, particularly if they had never asked me. It is also extremely annoying if you have a sleeping baby. Definitely put a note on your door saying that you won't accept them and do not disturb.

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