To not understand why some people boast about the long hours they work

[chaletdays]

I was out with friends last night and a few of them seemed to be almost competing regarding how early they start work, how late they get home, how some 'chancers' in the office leave at 5 every day etc. It was really boring and tiresome.
To me, if you're working ridiculously long hours for someone else, you're either in the unfortunate position of being exploited because you need the money (every sympathy for that), struggling with the demands of the job (again sympathy), or need to sort your priorities and get a better work life balance.

But AIBU to think that boasting about it and looking down on people who work regular hours and then like to get out and home is daft?

It's a silly one isn't it!

I always think the 'High earners are expected to put in the hours' is a really odd way to think as :

a) Even in a salaried job, it's worth calculating your real hourly wage. I know I effectively earn more than my manager's manager's manager per hour because of the huge disparity in hours worked. It's devaluing yourself.

b) Once you're over 42k, you're being taxed marginally at at least 40% (maybe 50% with child benefit tapers etc). So each additional hour of unpaid overtime is at a substantially lower rate than the early ones.

Anyway, good luck to anyone, but I like working for the highest possible hourly rate :-)

I do think after a certain point, your hourly wage becomes irrelevant.

I don't think of my wage in those terms, plus you tend to be thinking of the next bonus or share pay out, which incentivises you to work more than your contracted hours (along with the 'culture' and needing to be seen to be putting the hours in)

As I say though I don't do it anymore and whilst it has had a negative impact on my income (my basic has gone up but I miss out on bonuses etc) I haven't looked back and I am a lot happier working 'normal' hours.

I think the culture is all wrong, but it does exist. Hopefully it will change over time. I'm no fan of presenteeism.

I do think after a certain point, your hourly wage becomes irrelevant.

I don't think of my wage in those terms, plus you tend to be thinking of the next bonus or share pay out, which incentivises you to work more than your contracted hours (along with the 'culture' and needing to be seen to be putting the hours in)

As I say though I don't do it anymore and whilst it has had a negative impact on my income (my basic has gone up but I miss out on bonuses etc) I haven't looked back and I am a lot happier working 'normal' hours.

I think the culture is all wrong, but it does exist. Hopefully it will change over time. I'm no fan of presenteeism.

I think you will find that to get to the top of any profession you have to put in the additional hours, it goes with the territory. Hourly rate isn't really relevant it's about professional pride and striving to be the best one can be .. What's wrong with that?

DH is a high earner, he works additional hours as the position demands. His company would be in nowhere near the strong position it's in if he had only put in the minimum required commitment.

We are going away next week, to the Far East for three weeks in a manner that wouldn't not be at all possible if DH didn't earn what he does.

That said, no you are not being unreasonable in getting bored of people competing to see who works the longest.

I do respectively disagree about effective hourly rate being irrelevant. To me, it really does make a massive difference to how I feel about work - i.e. not feeling like I'm being exploited. No-one complains, I work efficiently and go home. It might (not working unpaid overtime) have an impact on getting promoted, but when getting promoted means a lower hourly rate, that doesn't bother me :-) But I am lucky in working for a good salary and fair hours.

It is pretty depressing to hear about people talk about their long hours. I don't think long hours necessarily go with the territory of well paid work. DH works in a niche area where he happens to have the skills to command a six figure salary, but he can still get home in time to catch an early evening show with me (at 6.30pm), and we do leisure/gym activities several times a week around 6-7pm. He only does a bit of work from home a few times a year and never has any problems booking time off for school events, visiting relatives or holidays.

It just depends on the company's culture - his company has a reputation for committing to a good work life balance. Friends rarely realise how well paid his job is (it's not finance or law or any of the expected well paid professions) as his working life is so relaxed and there's an expectation that high earners are only getting decent pay to compensate for high levels of stress in their work.

My DSis has taken on a new role which is at the bottom end of the HRT (so not really high for London) but she isn't getting home before 8pm most evenings now. She hates it and is hoping to find a different position soon.

Lovely - that's how it should be marshmallowrings. Salary dictated too by scarcity of skills (though I do believe that everyone is entitled to a fair living wage), not hanging around the office late.

Definitely a self importance thing! But then I am massively uninterested in those jobs which "command" long hours and the huge wodges of cash that come with them.

I am interested in entrepreneurs and creative people, and people with really unusual jobs like ski instructors or brain surgeons. Everyone else's job just doesn't interest me for one second I'm afraid (although I would never give this impression if I were chatting to you at a dinner party).

I would never talk about my job at dinner party :)

Everyone would be asleep within 3 minutes and I like to get away from work when I can, not talk about it.

I don't understand those that jaw on about their amazing career - like you say, if they look after elephants, or fly one of the red arrows or something, talk away, but if it's your average run-of-the-mill job in law, finance, IT, consulting, property or whatever, I'm going to glaze over pretty quickly.

mintyy I'm a writer and people are always desperate to hear about it.

But like it or lump it, it takes up a lot of hours to be successful at it. Sorry.

My job is a variant of a Physicians Assistant. I have to work very long hours. I am neither exploited, struggling or not balancing my work and life. It just comes with the role.

desperate eh?

Well do enjoy that then.

And no need to apologise

It is a silly thing to show off about. I love my work so doing it is no different from leisure time. Daughter 2 sent the family a Branson quote this week as she knew I'd like it as she and I love our work - it was saying if work can feel like your hobby that's great - her view and mine. Her other sister texted us back just before 1am saying she was in the office and was not quite in agreement with the rest of us about the joys of work.

One difference for me is that since I started working for myself (i.e,. keeping all the money) longer hours are fine and particularly now I am not rushing home to breastfeed a toddler and just have teenagers.

I can see with daughter 2 who works reasonable hours she has that flexibility you have when you don't have children - she can get in at 8am to work before work becomes busy and she will often stay happily until 7 or 7.30pm because that's when netball practice starts or she's meeting a friend then and so the working day can have a bit more slack in it for going to the gym at lunch time which a parent would tend not to do.

I was working last week with a lawyer who gets going at 6.30 each night - you can tell that's how he works so each night I told him when I was going to bed. (I am a morning person - my best work is often done between 6 and 7am, not a night person).

I don't think we can generalise on the thread as it depends on your work - if you are doing a long operation as a doctor you can hardly knock off early. If you are in court until nearly 5pm and then have to prepare for the continuation of the trial the next morning you don't have much choice but to work that night. IN many other jobs you can work around things.

I usually choose to work just about 7 days a week often at home over about 50 weeks a year. I find that works really well for me and it ensures that there is flexibility to cover children and home things on any of those 7 days as needed. Today Saturday I've done a bit of work and work admin and tomorrow I have quite ab it more to do and I will like it as it will be peaceful and I won't be interrupted doing it. I feel I get paid a lot of money to solve puzzles in a sense and I am very lucky.