To be furious that my dd(aged 2) won't eat sweets....

[bogiesaremyonlyfriend]

Because someone has told her that she will get fat if she eats sweets!!

I offered her a sweet and she said "no thank you, I don't want a fat tummy" who would say this to a flaming 2 year old (who happens to be very slim, in 18-24 month clothes at 2.10 years)

I'm so cross that she has picked this up from somewhere. And what where do I go from here?

Furious is a bit strong. But she's right, why do you want her to eat sweets?

It is bad that someone has said that but good that she won't eat sweets I guess.

Mrsmorton have you read the op? That is a nasty thing to say to a child. Yes the occassional sweets every now and again will not harm. But to say that to a child is ?

Do you know where she has picked that up from?

Your 2 year old said that "no thank you, I don't want a fat tummy" ?

Rubbish for her teeth is a greater concern wouldn't you say?

Yes its great that she does not want sweets, but the reason why is very sad, yes there is a rise of eating disorders in young children, I would hate that kind of message conveyed to my child.

Oh dear yes that is upsetting. But as long as you're bringing her up with a healthy attitude to bodies and food then one comment won't do any long trm damage. I would try to find out where it came from though - presumably it can't be that hard to work out by asking round the adults who speak to her.

Who told her about fat tummies?

Say "Oooh, more sweets for me!" and let it go. She'll encounter lots of opinions in this world to consider.

I wouldn't have said it to my daughter when she was 2 but now she is 4 I do say "If you have to many treats you might get a big tummy and not have much energy for running and playing". She doesn't really have a natural limit for junk food and would eat loads if she was left to her own devices. I also explain why she can't have too much sugar (teeth), needs to wear suncream etc. I don't think it's a bad thing to help them understand the links to their choices and their health but it needs to be done carefully and not at 2 so I don't think YABU

I forgot to say I wouldn't use the work fat though

I'm sure her teeth won't rot away at one little sweet but an attitude like that could damage her long term! I have no idea who has said it to her but I'm so sad for her at 2 she should not be concerned with getting fat!

I'd be upset too that she was using that sort of terminology at 2.

But at such a young age why even think about giving her sweets?

No you're right.

Which is why you need to explain to her that sweets don't make her fat unless she is having them for every meal. That is your responsibility.

My boys have started saying things like this - crisps are bad for you etc etc. They are both very slim. I have explained to them that every so often, crisps, sweets, cakes etc are fine. Eating too much of anything is bad! My boys are six so I can explain it a bit more in depth.

We went for "everything in moderation in a healthy diet" when DS1 came back from school with "I just want salad for tea so I stay healthy". We had quite a long discussion about why you need a range of foods, including fat, to grow big, strong and healthy. We also said that sugar is lovely, but it is not healthy to have too much.
Probably too complicated for a 2 yr old?

I'd be pretty upset OP. YANBU. She will move on though and you can reinforce positive healthy eating messages.

I talk to my young children about which foods make us feel good and make our bodies work properly, and which ones don't have many benefits or are bad for our teeth.

I never, ever talk about food making us fat. It's excess that is the issue and that's something that a two year old can't put into any meaningful context yet.

I love your name addictedtosugar!

YANBU! I'd be having words with whoever you think has said this. I don't agree with praising children for eating or not eating anything. There's absolutely no need to attach goodness or badness to any food group. I had this done to me as a child and it has left me with an ED, OCD and depression. Don't let someone do that to your DD OP. Keep giving her the positive messages you are, and really look at outside influences on her.

That's an advanced two year old you have.

I have a DS the same age and people mention (quite rightly) that too many sweets are unhealthy and bad for your teeth but no one has mentioned that they will make them fat.

I hate this pre-occupation with slimness particularly in girls. Children should learn that some foods are healthy and some foods are unhealthy and should only be eaten occasionally. They should also learn to listen to the signals their body gives them in terms of how much they eat.

Anxieties about food and eating mean that kids begin to completely over ride what their body is telling them (I'm hungry, I'm full) and are so hard to shift. (Food anxieties also just as if not more often lead to someone being overweight rather than underweight so even if being slim is your end goal it's counter productive).

It isn't a good thing to say, however great she doesn't want sweets at such a young age.
Tell her it isn't a fat tummy so much although this can happen with too many, but the rotten teeth she'll get.
I'd say at 2 years old a bit of chocolate every now and then would be ok, but certainly not offering sweets.

"That's true if you eat too many but you don't and it's okay to eat them every once in a while." Because tbf she is right, they will give you a fat tummy if you eat too many and also will 'make your teeth fall out'. I'm quite straight forward with my DC and outright tell them "we don't eat too much of that because it makes you big, unhealthy, you won't have energy to run around and play and it's bad for your teeth but it's fine to eat every so often." They're 5, 4 and 2.5. It's just honesty and gives a good explanation as to why they can't eat chocolate every day. So don't lie and say it won't, just be honest and say it won't if you don't eat too many.

So she doesn't want sweets, that's not a bad thing is it? And eating empty calories may well lead to putting on weight, so it's not that terrible that she knows that too.